SN or revolver?

[suffering_mo_7]

Didn't want to die (have beautiful life) but am suffering inhumanely from medical infusion and need to go.

2 choices (have both) but am struggling to decide how to proceed. I'm a non violent 40s small female.

1) SN - would have to go somewhere like a parking lot or abandoned cemetery during day. Live with my family so can't get hotel room or do it at home. Also have stomach lining irritation (not as bad as gastritis am on bland soft food diet). I'm chemically damaged already and failure with this could be extremely bad (increased sound sensitivity would be horrendous) and then no option for gun later. Would lose everything I have left if fail. Fear of pain and failure.

2) Revolver - I've dry fired the .357 a lot but have never shot gun. I hate this method as a nonviolent person. Have tried twice, going to abandoned cemetery, but can't seem to pull trigger. I was there 4 hours last time. The good: it's usually successful. It's quick and likely painless. The bad. It's violent and scary.

I need to go. I'm tortured, neurologically, mentally and physically in pain. It's hard because I had a beautiful life. I don't want to hurt my loved ones....it makes me cry thinking about it but life is hell. They are all starting to hate me too.

I need support guys. I know how this ends but getting yourself to commit to a method and doing it when you have these obstacles....

 

[justamirror]

If I had both methods ready ... I would choose firearm. Its so incredibly quick (just gotta make sure its a good shot). So much easier. It also leaves no room to second guess myself (after the trigger has been pulled). Once the gun is fired its over. I would prefer firearms to get rid of the possibility of me backing out. I'm confident if I jumped from a height I would regret it going down. That doesn't mean I don't want to die. I think its a very human thing to do. I cannot purchase any weapons since I have had several rubber sock vacations. But I would leave it ready somewhere safe, and in a great and terrible moment when I am so very tired of being tired I would go towards it and CTB. I would leave out my pre-written note with just a single quote on it and my passwords written down and unlocked.

I cannot suggest what you should do or why. But this is what I would do.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you go through, it's so cruel to me how people suffer so unbearably in this existence, I hope you find peace from all the suffering.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

If I had both methods ready ... I would choose firearm. Its so incredibly quick (just gotta make sure its a good shot). So much easier. It also leaves no room to second guess myself (after the trigger has been pulled). Once the gun is fired its over. I would prefer firearms to get rid of the possibility of me backing out. I'm confident if I jumped from a height I would regret it going down. That doesn't mean I don't want to die. I think its a very human thing to do. I cannot purchase any weapons since I have had several rubber sock vacations. But I would leave it ready somewhere safe, and in a great and terrible moment when I am so very tired of being tired I would go towards it and CTB. I would leave out my pre-written note with just a single quote on it and my passwords written down and unlocked.

I cannot suggest what you should do or why. But this is what I would do.

Thanks for your opinion. Believe me, it's hard to pull that trigger no matter how much you want the suffering to end. Unfortunately, I can't just go do it whenever I feel like it. I live with my family and can't just leave any old time.... that makes it harder.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Bump.... anyone else have an opinion on what they would do if you have these 2 options and obstacles?

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Bump.... anyone else have an opinion on what they would do if you have these 2 options and obstacles?

I know I already told you about what I'm doing, SN first, then if the side effects are too much shoot myself, either with one of my handguns in the heart or shotgun to the Head

 

[suffering_mo_7]

I know I already told you about what I'm doing, SN first, then if the side effects are too much shoot myself, either with one of my handguns in the heart or shotgun to the Head

I can only think of myself....that it could be real hard to do that if you are vomiting, have severe tachycardia and struggling to breathe...... maybe because I am not experienced with firearms.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I can only think of myself....that it could be real hard to do that if you are vomiting, have severe tachycardia and struggling to breathe...... maybe because I am not experienced with firearms.

revolver to the heart is probably easier for people not versed with guns. heart area, doesn't even have to be a direct hit. takes out major blood vessels and arteries and lung. 1-3 minutes alone would be certain death. heart can't adapt like a brain. either way will be awful. SN or gun. it's just the reality. people can stall out forever on the details. it's probably survival instinct. nature never meant these sorts of hideous injuries from Rx.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

revolver to the heart is probably easier for people not versed with guns. heart area, doesn't even have to be a direct hit. takes out major blood vessels and arteries and lung. 1-3 minutes alone would be certain death. heart can't adapt like a brain. either way will be awful. SN or gun. it's just the reality. people can stall out forever on the details. it's probably survival instinct. nature never meant these sorts of hideous injuries from Rx.

We do get caught up in the details because some of us never wanted to die and really wanted to live..... we have suffered enough by our injuries and are wise enough to have seen that there's much more suffering one can endure....it's like limitless. Unimaginable.

 

[fatladysings]

I

Bump.... anyone else have an opinion on what they would do if you have these 2 options and obstacles?

If I had those two options and those obstacles, I don't know what I would do.

Without the obstacles that you have, and faced with those two options, I'd pick the gun every time. You are unbelievably lucky to have access to a firearm. I live in the UK and spend my days wishing I could have access to a firearm. Atm my preferred methods are short drop hanging, carbon monoxide, long drop hanging and SN (and I'm not sure I'll be able to get my hands on any SN) but if I had a gun then all those methods would go down the toilet and I would absolutely use the gun.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

We do get caught up in the details because some of us never wanted to die and really wanted to live..... we have suffered enough by our injuries and are wise enough to have seen that there's much more suffering one can endure....it's like limitless. Unimaginable.

I know, i never wanted this. I can't heal or recover or adapt. it's over. I have hope for others though.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

I

If I had those two options and those obstacles, I don't know what I would do.

Without the obstacles that you have, and faced with those two options, I'd pick the gun every time. You are unbelievably lucky to have access to a firearm. I live in the UK and spend my days wishing I could have access to a firearm. Atm my preferred methods are short drop hanging, carbon monoxide, long drop hanging and SN (and I'm not sure I'll be able to get my hands on any SN) but if I had a gun then all those methods would go down the toilet and I would absolutely use the gun.

Thanks for your opinion.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

I have thought more...if doing SN, I could get a hotel room but would just have to end it there in the day, instead of at night. I would potentially only have about 8 hours after SN consumption before I could be found.... this is all going to be so very traumatic for my family members. The trauma from this is going to make everything so much harder and something that could affect them deeply for a long time, maybe forever. I never wanted this!!

 

[assistedsuicidelove]

Didn't want to die (have beautiful life) but am suffering inhumanely from medical infusion and need to go.

2 choices (have both) but am struggling to decide how to proceed. I'm a non violent 40s small female.

1) SN - would have to go somewhere like a parking lot or abandoned cemetery during day. Live with my family so can't get hotel room or do it at home. Also have stomach lining irritation (not as bad as gastritis am on bland soft food diet). I'm chemically damaged already and failure with this could be extremely bad (increased sound sensitivity would be horrendous) and then no option for gun later. Would lose everything I have left if fail. Fear of pain and failure.

2) Revolver - I've dry fired the .357 a lot but have never shot gun. I hate this method as a nonviolent person. Have tried twice, going to abandoned cemetery, but can't seem to pull trigger. I was there 4 hours last time. The good: it's usually successful. It's quick and likely painless. The bad. It's violent and scary.

I need to go. I'm tortured, neurologically, mentally and physically in pain. It's hard because I had a beautiful life. I don't want to hurt my loved ones....it makes me cry thinking about it but life is hell. They are all starting to hate me too.

I need support guys. I know how this ends but getting yourself to commit to a method and doing it when you have these obstacles....

Well you should try a blood detox liver and colon detox gut detox and go pure alkaline vegan and focus on holistic remedies honestly. There's a guy called yahkiawakened on instagram. I think he can probably asist you even has like a clinic. For something like that try this first before you just leave. If health is the issue. That can actually be fixed. The body in the right condition can physically heal its self. Emotionally I don't have any answers for that. But physically. Yes it can.

 

[HopeToStay]

First of all sorry to hear about the medical issue. I too don't really want to go either but it also looks like there's something quite wrong with me medically and there really would be no point in continue if that proves to be the case - still waiting confirmation so i have my fingers crossed it's something else.

Firearm is definitely preferable to SN IMO. It'll be over before your body even registers what's happening. It's about as close as you can get to pressing the off switch. If i wasn't in the UK where guns don't really exist i doubt i'd be alive writing this message as i'd have done it long ago.

The only downside is it'll leave a right old mess for whoever finds you, so i'd organise a scheduled email to the authorities.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Well you should try a blood detox liver and colon detox gut detox and go pure alkaline vegan and focus on holistic remedies honestly. There's a guy called yahkiawakened on instagram. I think he can probably asist you even has like a clinic. For something like that try this first before you just leave. If health is the issue. That can actually be fixed. The body in the right condition can physically heal its self. Emotionally I don't have any answers for that. But physically. Yes it can.

My stomach isn't my main issue. My whole nervous system and all of my nerves, plus my brain, were severely damaged by a medical infusion....it was neurotoxicity ....7 months ago. If it were just my stomach, I could live with that... though it's hard on its own and limits what I can eat, in order to heal. If I could bear this, I would! You can read my past posts. Thanks though.

 

[assistedsuicidelove]

My stomach isn't my main issue. My whole nervous system and all of my nerves, plus my brain, were severely damaged by a medical infusion....it was neurotoxicity ....7 months ago. If it were just my stomach, I could live with that... though it's hard on its own and limits what I can eat, in order to heal. If I could bear this, I would! You can read my past posts. Thanks though.

You can detox and fix anything. Before you decide to off yourself over medical. If you have a beautiful life sounds like you have the money to do all the detoxes. You can detox and reset your nervous system to and do reversal stuff. Just try please .

 

[suffering_mo_7]

First of all sorry to hear about the medical issue. I too don't really want to go either but it also looks like there's something quite wrong with me medically and there really would be no point in continue if that proves to be the case - still waiting confirmation so i have my fingers crossed it's something else.

Firearm is definitely preferable to SN IMO. It'll be over before your body even registers what's happening. It's about as close as you can get to pressing the off switch. If i wasn't in the UK where guns don't really exist i doubt i'd be alive writing this message as i'd have done it long ago.

The only downside is it'll leave a right old mess for whoever finds you, so i'd organise a scheduled email to the authorities.

Thanks for your opinion. I hope, for you, that tests show you are well and can find life to be good or at least bearable again. I have been praying for something terminal so I don't have end things this way. I wanted a natural death.... never could have imagined being in this sort of situation.