Venting SN just arrived now I'm nervous

[luna666]

Hey everyone!

My SN just arrived and now anxiety is through the roof.
I have everything, SN, meto, cimetidine, milk of magnesia.

I'm anxious because the only day that I can CTB (because of privacy issues) is way closer than I thought, so I'll have to rush to finish the letters and stuff.

I plan to go this month because my family have an opportunity to a clean start in a new home next month and after 10 years of suicidal thoughts, years of therapy, chronic diseases, fights, unemployment, and a few months of planning, I'm sure that's the only way I'll be confortable with.

 

[LMLN]

I'm so sorry you have come to this decision. Just make sure this is really what you want to do. I understand you feel you have time constraints, but I dont think doing this in a rush is a good idea.
We are here to listen if you need to talk. ❤

 

[luna666]

I'm so sorry you have come to this decision. Just make sure this is really what you want to do. I understand you feel you have time constraints, but I dont think doing this in a rush is a good idea.
We are here to listen if you need to talk. ❤

Thank you for your words!

 

[Supersadmommy90]

You are so considerate to try and time things to lessen the impact on your family with their start in the new house. It is very understandable that you need to act in a timely manner that will accommodate your need for privacy. If you feel you must go on this particular date rather than some other date in the future then I hope your anxiety will lessen as you check the boxes on your to do list. Don't get too overwhelmed, do the most important things first and then whatever loose ends are left to tie up can be dealt with closer to the date or not at all. You are planning on dying so just try to prioritize only what really matters rather than spending your final weeks and days obsessing over things that ultimately won't matter. I hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your time for what it is. All the best regardless of what you eventually do.

 

[luna666]

You are so considerate to try and time things to lessen the impact on your family with their start in the new house. It is very understandable that you need to act in a timely manner that will accommodate your need for privacy. If you feel you must go on this particular date rather than some other date in the future then I hope your anxiety will lessen as you check the boxes on your to do list. Don't get too overwhelmed, do the most important things first and then whatever loose ends are left to tie up can be dealt with closer to the date or not at all. You are planning on dying so just try to prioritize only what really matters rather than spending your final weeks and days obsessing over things that ultimately won't matter. I hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your time for what it is. All the best regardless of what you eventually do.

Thank you so much for this! I wish everything was easy and quick, but that's life I guess. I'll hope for a peaceful one.

 

[faust]

Oh, I am so sorry you are experiencing such a life so many years...
That's definitely hard and the thoughts that you have to do that very soon are of course casting a shadow on the whole process.
If you have to hurry up, then there is no need to write all letters in one go.
You can simply write 10-15 minutes and then do a break. You have to be sure everything is from open heart, so do many but short intervals.
Also planning may help you a little bit, so that you would know you are in time and there won't be a strong urge to do everything the last moment.
Wish you a good luck in whichever path you choose

 

[luna666]

Oh, I am so sorry you are experiencing such a life so many years...
That's definitely hard and the thoughts that you have to do that very soon are of course casting a shadow on the whole process.
If you have to hurry up, then there is no need to write all letters in one go.
You can simply write 10-15 minutes and then do a break. You have to be sure everything is from open heart, so do many but short intervals.
Also planning may help you a little bit, so that you would know you are in time and there won't be a strong urge to do everything the last moment.
Wish you a good luck in whichever path you choose

Thank you so much! I'll do my best in the situation to at least leave an explanation, and minimize the trauma to those around me. I know it's hard but at least they'll know I've tried.

 

[faust]

Thank you so much! I'll do my best in the situation to at least leave an explanation, and minimize the trauma to those around me. I know it's hard but at least they'll know I've tried.

You are welcome! Btw you have a very short time-span, will there be another chance if you decide to stay?

 

[luna666]

You are welcome! Btw you have a very short time-span, will there be another chance if you decide to stay?

In the same situation probably not, they'll be leaving at the end of this month. If I wait more, I'll have to move too, and don't want to leave this bad memory in a place they have to live daily.

 

[faust]

In the same situation probably not, they'll be leaving at the end of this month. If I wait more, I'll have to move too, and don't want to leave this bad memory in a place they have to live daily.

Oh, I get you. That's why I would not CTB in the place like apartment to rent/AirBNB