They called a biohazard emergency and sealed off the area over sodium nitrite? They wore hazmat suits and oxygen tanks. Doesn't that seem like a huge overreaction? Sodium nitrite is only dangerous if you ingest it, it's not like its a dangerous gas that contaminates the air. Perhaps I'll only bring the SN I'm going to use to the hotel instead of the whole bottle....
Anyways, this hyperbolic reaction makes me nervous to ctb in a hotel even though I see no other option for myself (I guess I could do it in a tent in the middle of nowhere and then text the emergency services my coordinates with a scheduled text but this seems awfully depressing). I don't want to harm the business of the hotel, I don't want to worry other people at the hotel, and I certainly don't want negative press coverage of myself after I ctb as some dangerous madman who used a toxic chemical and was indifferent to the safety of others, I care a lot about the safety of other people and not harming them.
Its so annoying that after a lifetime of being misunderstood and being outcasted that you can't even leave this earth without worrying about your intentions and character being misunderstood. It's as if we're destined to be shamed and misunderstood even after we're dead, it's like the universe just can't give us a break even when we just want to leave and bother no one in doing so.
Sigh, people can be so frustrating sometimes. I just want to leave in peace, is that really too much to ask for fuck sakes when I'm dying on the inside and my heart and soul has been crushed already by the weight of life? Just let me go in peace, I'm not a bad guy I promise, please just give me a break for once.