Venting SN has been ordered.

[Backwoodsqueer]

I keep trying to push on but I'm getting no where. The people I live with treat me like a huge burden and no matter how much I walk on eggshells to please them, I still do nothing but piss them off. I'm disabled and low income with no other housing options. I'm also in constant chronic pain so ending all of it just feels right.

My biggest hang-up in my niece. She's my entire world and will be two soon. Do I stay around long enough for her to form good memories with me or do I do it now and spare her the emotional attachment and grieving? If I do it soon, she won't even have memories of me existing. I just want to do what will be best for her.

Thank you all for being here and supporting each other through these decisions. Having the SN on its way, plus already having meto, zofran, and domperidone, means it should be my time pretty soon.

SN delivery is coincidentally scheduled for my birthday. Oh, the irony.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So sorry you have to go through this. I can't tell you what to do... you will have to make your own decision. I can see how it may be better if she can't remember you. It will hurt more when she is older. (Still not telling you what to do)
I know my family will be hurt when I go, It's unavoidable … I just can't take this anymore.

 

[Backwoodsqueer]

So sorry you have to go through this. I can't tell you what to do... you will have to make your own decision. I can see how it may be better if she can't remember you. It will hurt more when she is older. (Still not telling you what to do)
I know my family will be hurt when I go, It's unavoidable … I just can't take this anymore.

Yup. Exactly. It's going to hurt her eventually because it's not like I'll completely poof from existence, but at least she won't miss me.