Red
Warlock
- Apr 10, 2019
- 744
I've been having really weird experiences as I'm falling asleep - it happened only once in 2018, twice in 2019 and so far, four times this year; three in this month alone. It happened last night, which is why it's so fresh on my mind; I need to get it out.
It's like sleep paralysis except it's not - I can usually hear and sometimes see what's going on around me, usually a YouTube video as I'm drifting off. A vibration starts on one side of my head along with a rushing in both my ears, like you get when yawning, starting low and quickly both sensations rising in intensity to be unbearable. With this comes the inability to move, including my eyes, which have both been stuck closed and stuck open on different occasions. I can feel my back arching and there is generally a very hard fight through panic and fear into consciousness before finally coming round.
Nobody has ever witnessed it, my heavy sleeping partner has never noticed it the two times he's been sleeping next to me when it's happened. I've only ever been dreaming once as it happened last night, and it was incorporated into the dream, my mind imagining my partner reacting and helping just to snap awake and find him sleeping, despite having dreamt of a cluster of around three or four attacks (this usually happens too - I can even wake up, shift positions and have it happen again).
Nobody believes me, it's just another in a long list of "nonspecific symptoms" that have cumulatively plaguing me over the last few years. But just recently I've experienced the onset of migraines I've rarely experienced before, along with various other neurological symptoms such as odd, singular muscle twitches, random pins and needles/feelings of wet and/or warm/cold in small patches on limbs, and sudden, unexplained throwing up of entire stomach contents from time to time, mostly at night and in the morning (happened 2 hrs before episode last night)...
It's distressing, doubly so when you can't really talk about it. Don't want to worry my fiancé or teen, yet it's hard to keep a lid on it all when it's all happening so often! Frustratingly, every time I mention it to anyone it's explained away as "sleep paralysis" and "oh everyone gets to random oddities from time to time". Agreed. Every day though? Nobody is taking it seriously despite me shrugging it off until this month, where it just seems to be getting worse and worse.
It's making me feel twice as bad not to be heard, not to even have anyone attempt to figure it out or even believe I'm feeling what I'm actually feeling, just the assumption that I must be making a big deal out of nothing - something that is very much not part of my nature - and considering how impactful it all is, I don't think I'm really making much of a fuss at all.
IDK just a vent as nobody listens IRL. Sorry to be on here whingeing again, I try not to make it too often lol. Thought getting it out in writing might clear it from my mind for a while so no obligation to read, but thanks if you did
It's like sleep paralysis except it's not - I can usually hear and sometimes see what's going on around me, usually a YouTube video as I'm drifting off. A vibration starts on one side of my head along with a rushing in both my ears, like you get when yawning, starting low and quickly both sensations rising in intensity to be unbearable. With this comes the inability to move, including my eyes, which have both been stuck closed and stuck open on different occasions. I can feel my back arching and there is generally a very hard fight through panic and fear into consciousness before finally coming round.
Nobody has ever witnessed it, my heavy sleeping partner has never noticed it the two times he's been sleeping next to me when it's happened. I've only ever been dreaming once as it happened last night, and it was incorporated into the dream, my mind imagining my partner reacting and helping just to snap awake and find him sleeping, despite having dreamt of a cluster of around three or four attacks (this usually happens too - I can even wake up, shift positions and have it happen again).
Nobody believes me, it's just another in a long list of "nonspecific symptoms" that have cumulatively plaguing me over the last few years. But just recently I've experienced the onset of migraines I've rarely experienced before, along with various other neurological symptoms such as odd, singular muscle twitches, random pins and needles/feelings of wet and/or warm/cold in small patches on limbs, and sudden, unexplained throwing up of entire stomach contents from time to time, mostly at night and in the morning (happened 2 hrs before episode last night)...
It's distressing, doubly so when you can't really talk about it. Don't want to worry my fiancé or teen, yet it's hard to keep a lid on it all when it's all happening so often! Frustratingly, every time I mention it to anyone it's explained away as "sleep paralysis" and "oh everyone gets to random oddities from time to time". Agreed. Every day though? Nobody is taking it seriously despite me shrugging it off until this month, where it just seems to be getting worse and worse.
It's making me feel twice as bad not to be heard, not to even have anyone attempt to figure it out or even believe I'm feeling what I'm actually feeling, just the assumption that I must be making a big deal out of nothing - something that is very much not part of my nature - and considering how impactful it all is, I don't think I'm really making much of a fuss at all.
IDK just a vent as nobody listens IRL. Sorry to be on here whingeing again, I try not to make it too often lol. Thought getting it out in writing might clear it from my mind for a while so no obligation to read, but thanks if you did