traintracks
New Member
- Jan 3, 2022
- 3
My grandmother is in rehab, she can barely move or eat, she's in constant pain. Parkinson's is not an illness which heals, it seems. Neither her nor her husband prepared financially for this point in their aging and thus the care she's being given is not enough, tired nurses and aids and psychologists doing the best that they can working within a broken system which has failed the elderly. TLDR: her future is bleak.
Today while I was with her in the rehab center I thought to myself more than once "she'd probably be better off dead at this point." I was disgusted with myself and I hope that no one close to me hears me say those words. But then I got curious about that feeling.
Has anyone here seen Midsommar? *spoiler ahead* one of the events of the movie is an old couple willingly taking their own lives, doing so with grace and happiness (and not a small amount of gore unfortunately). When the protagonists of the film reacted to this with horror, they were prompted with the thought that our culture places old people in nursing homes, which in some ways is just as horrific. Now, I don't condone the public suicide of old people in the name of tradition, but it made me think about ethics. Why is taking your life so horrible when living a ghost of a life in a place where you have no control over your body, your mind, normal? i.e. why is assisted suicide illegal in most places while nursing homes are often negligent to the point of abuse?
It's heartbreaking to watch my grandmother suffer and its conflicting to know that there is a solution which dissolves all pain, and that is dying. And in the end I cannot place myself in her shoes, I really know nothing of her mind or what she's holding onto in life. But I hope that when I get to an age where my mind fails before my body or my body fails before my mind, that I have the strength to leave the world before I become an empty shell. Death will be on my terms.
If you care to share your thoughts please do. I'd like to not feel so alone in this inner conflict.
Today while I was with her in the rehab center I thought to myself more than once "she'd probably be better off dead at this point." I was disgusted with myself and I hope that no one close to me hears me say those words. But then I got curious about that feeling.
Has anyone here seen Midsommar? *spoiler ahead* one of the events of the movie is an old couple willingly taking their own lives, doing so with grace and happiness (and not a small amount of gore unfortunately). When the protagonists of the film reacted to this with horror, they were prompted with the thought that our culture places old people in nursing homes, which in some ways is just as horrific. Now, I don't condone the public suicide of old people in the name of tradition, but it made me think about ethics. Why is taking your life so horrible when living a ghost of a life in a place where you have no control over your body, your mind, normal? i.e. why is assisted suicide illegal in most places while nursing homes are often negligent to the point of abuse?
It's heartbreaking to watch my grandmother suffer and its conflicting to know that there is a solution which dissolves all pain, and that is dying. And in the end I cannot place myself in her shoes, I really know nothing of her mind or what she's holding onto in life. But I hope that when I get to an age where my mind fails before my body or my body fails before my mind, that I have the strength to leave the world before I become an empty shell. Death will be on my terms.
If you care to share your thoughts please do. I'd like to not feel so alone in this inner conflict.