Venting Silent tears.

[Lara Francis]

I think there is only a certain amount of time which u can put up with yourself for.

I am tired of crying and putting on a false face for the world.
Pretending all is well when i am just shit scared that i will not get my boy back.

The house is so quiet which is deafing and my distraction techniques are becoming worn.My eyes are full of tears and my soul is totally lost and hurt.
I thought of buying a new thing for the house today but then thought i may be dead in August so whats the point ?
I feel like the world is fighting against me all the time and i will never win.
I just want my life and myself back ,,the person i was before hubby died and i knew what happiness ment and felt like.
I really really hate myself and life right now and i just want it to end but i cant!
I feel so enveous of dead people and believe they are the lucky ones.
I think i have been a fool to think recovery was possible because i feel dead already and death feels like it may be an improvement!
Xx

 

[pole]

i know words dont mean much nowadays, but sorry about what you're going through. hope you feel better and find the peace that you're looking for :(.

 

[lululoo]

Hugs, Lara. I agree, pretending is so exhausting.

 

[Lara Francis]

i know words dont mean much nowadays, but sorry about what you're going through. hope you feel better and find the peace that you're looking for :(.

Thanku xx