Help Sick fantasy or good plan ?

[timetodie24]

I had wanted to jump but difficult for me to travel far and whilst many people have successfully ctb from local bridges, they're all far from guaranteed fatal height and not really any tall buildings I could gain access to. My back up was partial but after watching some videos, I'm thinking full makes more sense.
So i'm thinking full suspension from local bridge . I'm just worried about getting a secure knot around the bridge. One has thick posts and the other has like the metal mesh over the slats to make it harder to climb over so not sure if there'd be anywhere I could use as suspension point. One bridge is under repairs so could tie to scaffolding but would that be strong enough to hold ?
The reason I guess this is 'sick' fantasy is that it'd be very public (obviously I'll do it when no one around to intervene) . And I also want to carve on my face the final code that the system gives me. Need to be an example of what happens when there's a glitch in the system and an error is allowed to live too long. Just uncomfortable if any of this ends up in media. I don't care what people think of me when I'm gone but I'd feel bad my family dealing with that.

 

[dinosavr]

I think it's not worth the risk. Chances it will end up on the internet are too high. Many people don't have boundaries and they wouldn't care about anything when there's a chance to get some attention.

 

[rozeske]

It being a public place if i can't guarantee privacy, I would worry more about someone saving me mid hanging and ending up brain damaged than being on the internet.

 

[timetodie24]

It being a public place if i can't guarantee privacy, I would worry more about someone saving me mid hanging and ending up brain damaged than being on the internet.

I guess but would do it at night and it's not a massively busy area. Don't think anywhere i could do full at home and don't want to risk my parents coming home unexpectedly or them to be ones to find my body.
I do worry about brain damage hence ditching partial. If I do long drop hang then wouldn't it break my neck so anyone 'saving' me would be futile ?

 

[rozeske]

I guess but would do it at night and it's not a massively busy area. Don't think anywhere i could do full at home and don't want to risk my parents coming home unexpectedly or them to be ones to find my body.
I do worry about brain damage hence ditching partial. If I do long drop hang then wouldn't it break my neck so anyone 'saving' me would be futile ?

I wouldn't still choose that area, it only takes one passer-by plus form long drop to break your neck and instantly die you need to be precise with the calculations and everything. That was the old times execution style with a professional present to assist.

 

[timetodie24]

I wouldn't still choose that area, it only takes one passer-by plus form long drop to break your neck and instantly die you need to be precise with the calculations and everything. That was the old times execution style with a professional present to assist.

True. Thanks for input, it's something i definitely need to consider and research as big risks.
Maybe it sounds strange but do need it partly to be public as need to send a message from the system. But hard to balance that with risks of being found too early .

 

[Tears in Rain]

And I also want to carve on my face the final code that the system gives me. Need to be an example of what happens when there's a glitch in the system and an error is allowed to live too long.

What's all this talk of "code that the system gives me"? And "glitch in the system"?
Are these voices that you hear?

 

[timetodie24]

What's all this talk of "code that the system gives me"? And "glitch in the system"?
Are these voices that you hear?

No I don't hear any voices, there's no hallucinations or anything, I don't and have never had psychosis.
It's just my own thoughts but the system puts them in my mind.

 

[Tears in Rain]

No I don't hear any voices, there's no hallucinations or anything, I don't and have never had psychosis.
It's just my own thoughts but the system puts them in my mind.

What system? Where do you think these thoughts are coming from, if not your own mind? I don't mean to be intrusive, I'm just curious.

 

[timetodie24]

What system? Where do you think these thoughts are coming from, if not your own mind? I don't mean to be intrusive, I'm just curious.

The system is too complex to explain here but it governs my life and makes rules for protecting people I care about. The 'thoughts' come from the system, it forces them into my mind.

 

[Tears in Rain]

Other humans? A.I.? Aliens? The Universe? Are these thoughts from the system making you ctb?

 

[timetodie24]

Other humans? A.I.? Aliens? The Universe? Are these thoughts from the system making you ctb?

The universe I guess . It's more a force and regulations, it's not like a being.
The system decides when (and possibly where and how) I ctb. But I have my own reasons for ctb and attempted long before I knew about the system (pathetic attempts as stupidly ODed before I found SS and did my research) . So it's controlling the parameters but no one or nothing is forcing me to do it

 

[Tears in Rain]

The universe I guess . It's more a force and regulations, it's not like a being.
The system decides when (and possibly where and how) I ctb. But I have my own reasons for ctb and attempted long before I knew about the system (pathetic attempts as stupidly ODed before I found SS and did my research) . So it's controlling the parameters but no one or nothing is forcing me to do it

Well you seem like an intelligent, rational person. Buy the "system" stuff seems very irrational to be honest. We all get thoughts coming into our head, sometimes we might wonder where a particular thought came from. How can you differentiate these thoughts as not being from your own mind, as opposed to some outside 'system''?

Again, I don't mean to pry. I'm not trying to get you to reconsider anything, like you say you already had intentions to ctb before this system stuff. But it seems the system thing has a powerful influence on what you're doing. You talk of s glitch in the system. I don't think there it's possible for there to be a glitch in the Universe.
One last question, what kind of code do you plan to carve on your face?

I wish you well.

 

[timetodie24]

Well you seem like an intelligent, rational person. Buy the "system" stuff seems very irrational to be honest. We all get thoughts coming into our head, sometimes we might wonder where a particular thought came from. How can you differentiate these thoughts as not being from your own mind, as opposed to some outside 'system''?

Again, I don't mean to pry. I'm not trying to get you to reconsider anything, like you say you already had intentions to ctb before this system stuff. But it seems the system thing has a powerful influence on what you're doing. You talk of s glitch in the system. I don't think there it's possible for there to be a glitch in the Universe.
One last question, what kind of code do you plan to carve on your face?

I wish you well.

It's just completely different. When i get random intrusive thoughts I can dismiss them, they can be awful and feel real but i know they have no power so can forget them.
But these thoughts aren't really thoughts, it's different. It's clear rules and codes that I couldn't and don't think up myself. I have lots of evidence that these rules are true and have worked to protect people too. So it is rational and real. It just feels completely different to my thoughts but hard to explain. The glitch is me still being here well past my expiry date so glitches do happen.
The code will be a string of numbers and letters that will give a message but not sure what yet.

All the best to you. I appreciate you just being genuinely curious and trying to understand. Others are quick to dismiss me and call me crazy