I don't understand. I am nearly 10 years younger than my only sibling. Since I can remember she's always been in this twisted competition w/ me and is toxically needy and undermining. You can't have feelings or a need for self preservation around her w/o it either being a problem or used against you later. I opened up to her recently as she insisted and completely regretted it the next day. She pretended to be so concerned and wanting to help, but treated me like shit less than 24 hrs later and like my actually venting was just ammo for her.
Saying no to her turns in to a shit storm even for the simplest, most mundane things. It's like you are on HER time and must align with HER emotions at all times or you are perceived as mean or having an attitude. She only switches this expectation/persona when she needs something from you. You basically have to walk on f^cking eggshells because any natural human response that SHE perceived negatively sends her spiraling. For example: I was cooking the other day and removing a HOT item from the oven. She was in the kitchen as well and yelled my name as she watched me with a hot dish in my hand. I said "wats up" completely caught off guard and somewhat blandly and she huffed and asked why I responded like that. Mind you, I was in the middle of something and trying to be cautious and she yelled like I wasn't just a few feet from her and that alone (along w/ my explaining this) wasn't enough for her to simply understand my tone/response and she stormed out. I had to lighten her mood afterwards for her to get over it. Another stupid example: I invited her to play a game via an app after she insisted and was inpatient when I told her to hold on a sec because I was in the middle of something. She finally gets the invite and pressures me to teach her everything about the app (never taking the time to just follow the prompts or to figure it out on her own) and rushes me to play a turn against her. She literally huffs repeatedly, gets frustrated with me when I don't play immediately after her and then gets mad when I win and immediately quits the game. Like what the entire f^ck. She throws these temper tantrums that are just completely irrational and it's f^cking draining always trying to stay on her "good" side and suppressing my own thoughts/emotions, the reality of how she's treated me and how annoying and immature she can be. I try to pretend to just keep the peace but the reality of the twisted dynamics always resurfaces.
I also feel as if she's tried to pit me against our parents for years, yet she'll turn around and be kissing their asses like she's never said extremely destructive things. I can't prove it, but I sincerely believe she has some sort of motive or agenda.
By no means do I claim to be perfect or all knowing, but I know that I've done my best to just speak sense, respect and progressive growth/collaboration in my family. It's like we are too far gone and the only way to function in "healthy" appearances is to pretend and continue to brush major things under the rug. Things that ALWAYS come back eventually and worse than where we left them. Why are people like this? I repeat, it's f^cking DRAINING!
Covid and being in crisis prior to this forces me to be around them. If you can't trust/confide in and progress with family then how can you build healthy relationships with others? It's like I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's literally one drama, one crisis, one toxic person one after the other after the other. I wish I was numb and didn't give af.
Saying no to her turns in to a shit storm even for the simplest, most mundane things. It's like you are on HER time and must align with HER emotions at all times or you are perceived as mean or having an attitude. She only switches this expectation/persona when she needs something from you. You basically have to walk on f^cking eggshells because any natural human response that SHE perceived negatively sends her spiraling. For example: I was cooking the other day and removing a HOT item from the oven. She was in the kitchen as well and yelled my name as she watched me with a hot dish in my hand. I said "wats up" completely caught off guard and somewhat blandly and she huffed and asked why I responded like that. Mind you, I was in the middle of something and trying to be cautious and she yelled like I wasn't just a few feet from her and that alone (along w/ my explaining this) wasn't enough for her to simply understand my tone/response and she stormed out. I had to lighten her mood afterwards for her to get over it. Another stupid example: I invited her to play a game via an app after she insisted and was inpatient when I told her to hold on a sec because I was in the middle of something. She finally gets the invite and pressures me to teach her everything about the app (never taking the time to just follow the prompts or to figure it out on her own) and rushes me to play a turn against her. She literally huffs repeatedly, gets frustrated with me when I don't play immediately after her and then gets mad when I win and immediately quits the game. Like what the entire f^ck. She throws these temper tantrums that are just completely irrational and it's f^cking draining always trying to stay on her "good" side and suppressing my own thoughts/emotions, the reality of how she's treated me and how annoying and immature she can be. I try to pretend to just keep the peace but the reality of the twisted dynamics always resurfaces.
I also feel as if she's tried to pit me against our parents for years, yet she'll turn around and be kissing their asses like she's never said extremely destructive things. I can't prove it, but I sincerely believe she has some sort of motive or agenda.
By no means do I claim to be perfect or all knowing, but I know that I've done my best to just speak sense, respect and progressive growth/collaboration in my family. It's like we are too far gone and the only way to function in "healthy" appearances is to pretend and continue to brush major things under the rug. Things that ALWAYS come back eventually and worse than where we left them. Why are people like this? I repeat, it's f^cking DRAINING!
Covid and being in crisis prior to this forces me to be around them. If you can't trust/confide in and progress with family then how can you build healthy relationships with others? It's like I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's literally one drama, one crisis, one toxic person one after the other after the other. I wish I was numb and didn't give af.
