Venting SI is so frustrating

[CelestialSky]

I poured out my N into a glass with full intentions of ctb tonight. And I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't fucking put the cup to my mouth. Now it's wasted and I feel like I've lost my only way out (plus 700 bucks which I don't have). I'll never be able to get N again and I'm devastated. I'm too cowardly to die. Fuck my life.

 

[dysfunctional]

I'm sorry, I had a similar experience with firearms.

 

[Emily123]

you may had a true feeling when you decided to not drink it . there may be still some hope that your life get better .

 

[TakeYourHappyPills]

I poured out my N into a glass with full intentions of ctb tonight. And I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't fucking put the cup to my mouth. Now it's wasted and I feel like I've lost my only way out (plus 700 bucks which I don't have). I'll never be able to get N again and I'm devastated. I'm too cowardly to die. Fuck my life.

I'm sorry that you feel that way ): maybe give it some time. Sounds like you're not entirely ready to leave yet. Hope everything works out for you (:

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Im sorry to hear and yes SI can be anoying. I wish i had N tho.