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mythofsisyphus
Member
- Jul 6, 2024
- 36
I'm really unsure what to do. My ex caused me a lot of pain - gaslit me, emotionally abused me, basically cheated on me.
He's not the reason I'm suicidal, at least not the main reason.
There's so much I never got to say to him - I blocked him and cut him off after finding out the truth and I found peace in this - I felt strong and I was gonna focus on myself etc. etc.
But now my life has collapsed, I feel like I need to say some things to him, to explain the pain he caused, but to also thank him for giving me an illusion of my dreams (a home, a dog, a life companion). To give myself the closure I would have found naturally over time. I'd be clear that the note isn't about blaming him for my decision.
The thing is I'm pretty sure he's a narcissist. Deep down, I know the note will likely be used a further 'proof' of my instability in his eyes - more evidence he was the victim that was wronged. As much as it hurts, I know it's very unlikely anything I say will make him reflect on his actions and the pain he caused me. It will likely only further boost his ego - "oh he's still thinking of me".
But there's a part of me that so deeply want to say these things to him, it feels like I can't leave with peace without doing so... what should I do?
He's not the reason I'm suicidal, at least not the main reason.
There's so much I never got to say to him - I blocked him and cut him off after finding out the truth and I found peace in this - I felt strong and I was gonna focus on myself etc. etc.
But now my life has collapsed, I feel like I need to say some things to him, to explain the pain he caused, but to also thank him for giving me an illusion of my dreams (a home, a dog, a life companion). To give myself the closure I would have found naturally over time. I'd be clear that the note isn't about blaming him for my decision.
The thing is I'm pretty sure he's a narcissist. Deep down, I know the note will likely be used a further 'proof' of my instability in his eyes - more evidence he was the victim that was wronged. As much as it hurts, I know it's very unlikely anything I say will make him reflect on his actions and the pain he caused me. It will likely only further boost his ego - "oh he's still thinking of me".
But there's a part of me that so deeply want to say these things to him, it feels like I can't leave with peace without doing so... what should I do?