Should I tell someone I want to die

[crazy1]

I have an appointment with my mental health support worker at my university, I've been seeing him for a while now and he's really nice. I keep having intrusive thoughts about hurting myself and killing myself and I keep going backwards and forwards between been sure I want to die and not wanting to die at all, then been scared because I could of killed myself. I want to talk to him about it just because I feel so alone with it, and this forum helps but it's not the same as having someone in the real world, if that makes sense. But I don't want to be sent to hospital and that scares me. I learned about the charcoal method with carbon monoxide and it just seems so easy and now I can't get the idea out my head and I feel I might do it, along with overdosing, which I know is unlikely to kill me so I'm not sure wether that's self harm or not even though when I do it I kind of hope it does kill me, but I don't actually know if I want to die or not, it's all confusing and scary to me.
I'm in England and I'm not sure what would happen if I told someone at the university about this, any advise? Or anyone else feel like this?

 

[Crows]

If you tell anyone, depending on who you tell you might go to the hospital if you tell them your in danger of hurting yourself , if you just tell them your just having thoughts they might ask you if you need medical attention and if you say yes you might be in there for 72 hours or less. Imo and being out of mental hospitals about 7 times this site is the best place you can go about talking about it. Everyone out of this site seems like a prolifer to me.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

It's not uncommon. Few weekends ago I rented a hotel for the night, had everything for my SN method. My wife tricked me into coming back asking if I'd let the dogs out. Of course I would, they're my kids. She said she was out shopping. I walked into something you see off the intervention. My wife ultimately told my family, they came down, and I had to come clean. My excuse was I was going to clear my head for the night while she could spend some quality time with her mom who's in town. It's not easy, but if you want help, then why not?

 

[crazy1]

It's not uncommon. Few weekends ago I rented a hotel for the night, had everything for my SN method. My wife tricked me into coming back asking if I'd let the dogs out. Of course I would, they're my kids. She said she was out shopping. I walked into something you see off the intervention. My wife ultimately told my family, they came down, and I had to come clean. My excuse was I was going to clear my head for the night while she could spend some quality time with her mom who's in town. It's not easy, but if you want help, then why not?

It's all just so confusing, I'll see if I have the confidence to when I see him. Your avatar pictures so cool by the way. That sounds hard, did you change your mind about killing yourself or was it just for your dog's that night? which I totally get, I love my dog.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Honestly it was because of my mom. Seeing the pain I knew I'd cause has left me sticking around. It doesn't hurt to open up a bit. You get out what you put in. Seems like you want to tell, but worried about how it'll be received. It's not easy by no means, but you'll never know unless you try.

 

[crazy1]

Honestly it was because of my mom. Seeing the pain I knew I'd cause has left me sticking around. It doesn't hurt to open up a bit. You get out what you put in. Seems like you want to tell, but worried about how it'll be received. It's not easy by no means, but you'll never know unless you try.

Yeah I get that, it's hard knowing you will hurt people, but I'm glad you've stuck around, even if your doing it for other people . I'm definitely worried about how it will be received, it's so hard just to say it. And yes that's true I won't know unless I try.

 

[TAW122]

It really depends on how you frame it. Keep in mind that it's ultimately up to the mental health professional to decide whether he believes you might be a danger to yourself or others so there is the risk of intervention. Just be careful what you say and how you say it if you wish to disclose this information to him. If you do, I might suggest mentioning it in a lighter tone and not outright explicitly saying that you plan to do it or have the means to because those alone would be enough for him to intervene (unless you are looking for intervention, which then is a different story).

 

[crazy1]

It really depends on how you frame it. Keep in mind that it's ultimately up to the mental health professional to decide whether he believes you might be a danger to yourself or others so there is the risk of intervention. Just be careful what you say and how you say it if you wish to disclose this information to him. If you do, I might suggest mentioning it in a lighter tone and not outright explicitly saying that you plan to do it or have the means to because those alone would be enough for him to intervene (unless you are looking for intervention, which then is a different story).

Thanks for the advise, I'll try and put it in a way that doesn't sound like I'm immediately going to CTB, I want more help but going into hospital just scares me, I've been in one before and I was there for 9 months, I feel like I'll be stuck in for months again.
I'll see if I can put it in a way that he just gets me more help but let's me be at home.

 

[HadEnough1974]

I have an appointment with my mental health support worker at my university, I've been seeing him for a while now and he's really nice. I keep having intrusive thoughts about hurting myself and killing myself and I keep going backwards and forwards between been sure I want to die and not wanting to die at all, then been scared because I could of killed myself. I want to talk to him about it just because I feel so alone with it, and this forum helps but it's not the same as having someone in the real world, if that makes sense. But I don't want to be sent to hospital and that scares me. I learned about the charcoal method with carbon monoxide and it just seems so easy and now I can't get the idea out my head and I feel I might do it, along with overdosing, which I know is unlikely to kill me so I'm not sure wether that's self harm or not even though when I do it I kind of hope it does kill me, but I don't actually know if I want to die or not, it's all confusing and scary to me.
I'm in England and I'm not sure what would happen if I told someone at the university about this, any advise? Or anyone else feel like this?

So sorry that you're going through this. I noticed that you said that the "thoughts are intrusive" and that you're "not sure if you want to die."

I can only speak for myself, my thoughts to ctb have never been intrusive.

When you say intrusive, do you mean "hearing voices" or having "recurring thoughts". Could there be an underlying mental health issue?

I know people in real life who have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. They are not "crazy", they just hear voices, and or have recurring uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Just worth exploring, perhaps in your own first.

 

[crazy1]

So sorry that you're going through this. I noticed that you said that the "thoughts are intrusive" and that you're "not sure if you want to die."

I can only speak for myself, my thoughts to ctb have never been intrusive.

When you say intrusive, do you mean "hearing voices" or having "recurring thoughts". Could there be an underlying mental health issue?

I know people in real life who have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. They are not "crazy", they just hear voices, and or have recurring uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Just worth exploring, perhaps in your own first.

It feels like I can't control my thoughts, like there not mine, it's just in my head and I can see myself doing things that I just would never do, it's like someone else telling me to hurt myself but it's my thoughts at the same time.
I always get recurrent thoughts like burning myself and taking overdoses which generally I end up doing, other more extreme things I don't do, or if I know it definitely won't turn out like whats in my head, but the past month it's getting harder not to act on the suicidal thoughts.
I can never hurt myself as much as what the thoughts said, and then that just makes me feel bad, like it should of been worse but at the same time I don't want to hurt myself. I can picture it really vividly like I'm watching myself do it as well as the thoughts talking to me. If that makes sense, I'm not sure how to explain it.
I don't think I've got schizophrenia, they've mentioned BPD though, but I've never really fully explained it to anyone.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Other members, feel free to add to my comments. It sounds like you need to be able to discuss openly with a psychiatrist exactly what's happening, but at the same time, my own "little voice" is telling me that you shouldn't.

Sometimes, medications do work. Sometimes, too often they don't work.

If you downplay your symptoms, you may not get the help you need. If you talk openly as you are here, they might hold you overnight for further assessment and observation.

I'd like you to get help, but it's a tough call. Other people's thoughts are welcome. I wish you well. This is why this forum is so important.

 

[crazy1]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Other members, feel free to add to my comments. It sounds like you need to be able to discuss openly with a psychiatrist exactly what's happening, but at the same time, my own "little voice" is telling me that you shouldn't.

Sometimes, medications do work. Sometimes, too often they don't work.

If you downplay your symptoms, you may not get the help you need. If you talk openly as you are here, they might hold you overnight for further assessment and observation.

I'd like you to get help, but it's a tough call. Other people's thoughts are welcome. I wish you well. This is why this forum is so important.

Yeah, I always down play my symptoms, so I never get the help I need, I guess there's a part of me that doesn't want them to intervene and just let me do what I want to my self. But there's always an argument in my head to just tell them.
I really don't want to end up in hospital but maybe I need more help than what I'm getting.
Thanks for your advice