what should I do with ppl around me? I don't want to be dissuaded, but I wish I could say goodbye.
EternalSummer
Experienced
- Nov 13, 2020
- 275
If your intention is to make a cry for help, then yes. If you wish to ctb, you obviously shouldn't.
I just wish this wasn't taboo, i've been in therapy for ten years and I had enough. Wish ppl were like "ok, let's fix your last wishes and then we say goodbye"
Are you ok? do you need SN? ppl feel already sorry for me, I would like to comfort them
EternalSummer
Experienced
- Nov 13, 2020
- 275
Yes, mine is being shipped, i want a source for benzos now, want to sleep as fast as possible after taking it.
nymphojuno
girlfail (he/him)
- Nov 30, 2023
- 25
if you want to get help, yes. if you genuinely want to commit, maybe not. unless you plan on getting institutionalized
EternalSummer
Experienced
- Nov 13, 2020
- 275
right? When people are actually set on CTB their biggest fear is that someone finds out and tries to prevent it. If you wish to tell them just out of curiosity is because you want help, which is a good thing, wanting to live is way better.
do you think that it would be bad to share my last moment with someone like on a phone call? I fear it would be cruel
It's not out of curiosity o.o are you familiar with assisted suicide? you are able to say goodbye to your dears.
Not sure where you live, but sleeping pills are easily prescribed, Xanax too.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,565
No, to me it sounds like a bad idea to be open about plans to die as they can interfere just leading to more suffering, it truly is so dreadful how humans refuse to accept suicide as the very valid personal choice it really is.
nymphojuno
girlfail (he/him)
- Nov 30, 2023
- 25
i think as long as you dont commit on the phone with them it should be fine? i imagine it would be comforting to talk to your favorite person one last time before you go
It is best to not try and say "Goodbye" with words, your death will be saying Goodbye to them.
I'd give anything for some SN now. And some benzos; you're lucky.
You have a way out, many here including myself have no way out, it's.....
God,
it's just more suffering.
I'd give anything for some SN now. And some benzos; you're lucky.
You have a way out, many here including myself have no way out, it's.....
God,
it's just more suffering.
itsalittlecold
Guided by the void
- Jun 7, 2024
- 142
I can relate to you, I've started the process of telling my bro, sis and 2 friends. Only one of them is giving me a hard time about it, today he finally said it's something he'd come to terms with but never accept.
I think if you feel you need too, never tell a date, reassure them theirs nothing they can possibly do to have helped you & don't do it at home or anywhere they'd think to look, maybe reassure them there is no pain involved and it's peaceful (hopefully) I wouldn't recommend telling the method though, that could cause problems for yourself. For people who care, emotions are natural and it's expected for them to not want to accept it.
I understand why you'd want to prepare them as that's exactly what I'm doing.
I'm making sure I go in a positive light and remembered for just that.
I think if you feel you need too, never tell a date, reassure them theirs nothing they can possibly do to have helped you & don't do it at home or anywhere they'd think to look, maybe reassure them there is no pain involved and it's peaceful (hopefully) I wouldn't recommend telling the method though, that could cause problems for yourself. For people who care, emotions are natural and it's expected for them to not want to accept it.
I understand why you'd want to prepare them as that's exactly what I'm doing.
I'm making sure I go in a positive light and remembered for just that.
I can definitely relate. It's a really hard call. If you're not in a rush, then I say why not? They can only delay you and you can have some time to discuss.
Just be aware a lot of people will have a very hard time accepting it, particularly if they care about you.
sugarb
thief of silent dreams
- Jun 14, 2024
- 797
You need to consider two things in particular:
1. If they know ahead of time, can they stop you before you successfully CTB? Are you comfortable risking that, if so? (Send you to a mental hospital, resuscitate you, etc)
2. What kind of goodbye do you want? (Spoken aloud and in-person, written, prerecorded, etc)
In my case: I don't want to risk being stopped, so I won't tell anyone face-to-face. But since there's very little risk of them resuscitating me (my method is gun, so- instant boom) I might call them right before to say "hey, goodbye, I love you, here's where my body will be, please do this this and this".
I also plan on leaving a series of notes behind on my phone for basically everyone I care about.
I tired to speak about my decision with 2 close friends living in other countries, I talked about assisted suicide so that they think of an hospital setting with doctors approval and their reaction was not supportive. My mother found out about sn, but there's not a lot of information about it in my country, so I laughed it off. Think I'll need some time to low other ppl's guard down, pack all my things and decide how to inform people pre/post. I'm still figuring out what to do with my body. I'm also a no one so on one side I'm like "no need to alert ppl etc" but on the other hand I'm worried about ppl or hmm also how everyone think this website is evil.
Also I have a really weird friendship with a person and I fear they might think they are responsible. I thought this would be easier, my past attempt were more desperate and not planned. @thirdtimesthecharmg @itsalittlecold (or others here) do you care sharing your plan? Or link other ppl's plan if you fear giving too many details online :/
Also I have a really weird friendship with a person and I fear they might think they are responsible. I thought this would be easier, my past attempt were more desperate and not planned. @thirdtimesthecharmg @itsalittlecold (or others here) do you care sharing your plan? Or link other ppl's plan if you fear giving too many details online :/
Context for me is the thread which you noted is rather confusing: https://sanctionedsuicide.site/thre...hadnt-thrown-away-the-sn.168950/#post-2564543
I have no idea what I'm going to do at this point. Going back 'home' to visit briefly with some family and friends. Then probably go back 'home' (two different areas, neither home anymore) to confess and turn myself in.
At some point I'll order more SN. Or maybe I missed my window on that. It's fine either way. My last attempt had a lot of puking (I was using a non-standard method and stopped short) and I am not ready to do that again yet but I suspect that with a greater determination I could do that method successfully; it would just take some time and be quite unpleasant on the way.
Anyhow, sorry, I don't really have anything useful or relevant to you to offer, but you asked and I am in a talkative mood since the attempt.
I'm happy for you that you have been able to get SN!
I think you can say your goodbyes to people and be careful and discreet about it so that people can have closure with you without knowing that you're about to CTB. It still might come as a surprise to them, but they will be able to remember that their last conversation with you was kind, tender or whatever you want for them to get from that conversation
I think you can say your goodbyes to people and be careful and discreet about it so that people can have closure with you without knowing that you're about to CTB. It still might come as a surprise to them, but they will be able to remember that their last conversation with you was kind, tender or whatever you want for them to get from that conversation
Oh I didn't realize it was the same nickname. I see now. It's difficult to help other ppl online, because one doesn't really know what 's the situation like for the other person. On one hand I want everybody to be able to access SN, but on the other I see that maybe people could be helped in other ways or like in your case, maybe you should live and pay the price by being incarcerated. Taking accountability is a first step, keep going.
All good; thanks. I figure I can always use the SN or my backup or etc after I've faced punishment in any and all forms here.
I was trying to take the easy way out and I didn't have the courage for that but all the more reason to at least do this.
Edit: I don't mean any offense to you or anyone else here when I say "easy way out". Just that, in my case, SN is far better than I deserve for what I did.
I don't know if SN is the easiest path in your case, I guess it's what is right to me.
Yeah, that's absolutely fair.
I consider it easy in comparison for me, if I still had it, because I can just do that and be done: I've done what I'm supposed to and my guilt and shame can die with me.
The backup method is hard. I spent 12+ hours puking when I decided to abort. But if I were determined enough, it would work.
Prison seems easier in my mind than making another attempt by the backup, although I guess we'll see. I may regret not taking that option when I had the chance. In reality SN would be hard for me to do because I still have some attachment to this life but I think it would be nice to be able to just be done and it seems like the best among the options to me.
Hello -
answering your question quickly, almost in every country it will create for those who listen the obligation to call for help, as if they don't, they are liable for not helping in an emergency.
Tbh just by asking the question it seems to me (and ofc I must be wrong) that you are somehow - even subconsciously - seeking help. Idk your situation but many times "impossible" situations have a possible solution, but since depression clouds judgement, you cannot see the solution.
I am not being a shiny-happy here but did you make sure you don't have depression? bcs wanting to CTB is a symptom of depression and this impairs judgement. They say I have to CTB bcs I have no food and you put a roast chicken in front of them and say I can't eat it, I have no food and must CTB.
While I completely respect a sound decision to CTB, a decision to CTB while depressed is not objective. Again, I have no idea about your situation and I may be saying things that don't apply to you, but I have the impreassion that you are depreased and it could go away.
Yes, ik here it's full of people who say meds and therapy don't work but consider that those with a successful treatment are extremely unlilely to post here :-)
answering your question quickly, almost in every country it will create for those who listen the obligation to call for help, as if they don't, they are liable for not helping in an emergency.
Tbh just by asking the question it seems to me (and ofc I must be wrong) that you are somehow - even subconsciously - seeking help. Idk your situation but many times "impossible" situations have a possible solution, but since depression clouds judgement, you cannot see the solution.
I am not being a shiny-happy here but did you make sure you don't have depression? bcs wanting to CTB is a symptom of depression and this impairs judgement. They say I have to CTB bcs I have no food and you put a roast chicken in front of them and say I can't eat it, I have no food and must CTB.
While I completely respect a sound decision to CTB, a decision to CTB while depressed is not objective. Again, I have no idea about your situation and I may be saying things that don't apply to you, but I have the impreassion that you are depreased and it could go away.
Yes, ik here it's full of people who say meds and therapy don't work but consider that those with a successful treatment are extremely unlilely to post here :-)
uniqueusername4
died a long time ago
- Aug 13, 2023
- 199
It's at least 10 years I'm treated for depression with poor results. I've been hospitalized in August, I'm out now but I'm still struggling and as any debilitating disease I'm tired
yes ofc I understand your point and a woman in Belgium or Holland was officially helped by a doctor to leave because of non-remitting depression.
Sorry to hear you needed to sleep in a hospital.
Do you have access to ECT? have you tried it? wild guesses on my part and it's not available in every hospital but just so you know about it:
www.mayoclinic.org
it's not like in films with a huge lever and sparks or like in the Cuckoo's Nest film but sometimes it manages to lift many years of depression
Sorry to hear you needed to sleep in a hospital.
Do you have access to ECT? have you tried it? wild guesses on my part and it's not available in every hospital but just so you know about it:
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) - Mayo Clinic
www.mayoclinic.org
it's not like in films with a huge lever and sparks or like in the Cuckoo's Nest film but sometimes it manages to lift many years of depression
I would not. More important than ridicule, you could be forced into a hospital where you could face various kinds of abuse/assaults. Sexual and otherwise, no matter your gender, sexual orientation, background, religion etc. And there, the offenders in these settings typically get away with it as opposed to those outside of these spaces.
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