trynacbt
Arcanist
- Sep 28, 2019
- 476
This is something I've been mulling over for a couple of days--at first, it was only a passing thought, and seemed a bit ridiculous, too risky. But now, thinking about what my family will be like after I ctb, I'm considering it more seriously...
My mother ctb'd earlier this year. For some context, my sister, myself, and my mother were all diagnosed with bipolar, though each of our illnesses look different.
My sister has been suicidal in the past. Now, she is more stable, but still very sad. Like me, she is dependent on my father. We are 23 and 25 years old.
If all goes well, I am hoping to ctb next week. And I was thinking about the possibility of writing about SS briefly in my letter to my sister. My dad doesn't understand English, so he wouldn't be able to have access to this information.
I'm conflicted for a number of reasons--first, I of course don't want to push my sister towards suicide. I am thinking of this merely as a way to possibly alleviate her pain, if she wants to talk about loss on here, or connect with others. And, if she decides to ctb, that would be her choice... But I don't know what the "right" move is here. Maybe telling her at all would already be putting her on that path, I don't know. And then, of course, is the possibility that she might take the other route--blame SS, and go all Shawn Shatto's mother on us (which I find highly unlikely, but still possible.) And I would never want that to happen.
Just thought I'd post about this, because it's been on my mind. I recognize the dangers in this and I often err on the side of caution; just thought I'd hear some thoughts. I hope I don't start too much controversy.
My mother ctb'd earlier this year. For some context, my sister, myself, and my mother were all diagnosed with bipolar, though each of our illnesses look different.
My sister has been suicidal in the past. Now, she is more stable, but still very sad. Like me, she is dependent on my father. We are 23 and 25 years old.
If all goes well, I am hoping to ctb next week. And I was thinking about the possibility of writing about SS briefly in my letter to my sister. My dad doesn't understand English, so he wouldn't be able to have access to this information.
I'm conflicted for a number of reasons--first, I of course don't want to push my sister towards suicide. I am thinking of this merely as a way to possibly alleviate her pain, if she wants to talk about loss on here, or connect with others. And, if she decides to ctb, that would be her choice... But I don't know what the "right" move is here. Maybe telling her at all would already be putting her on that path, I don't know. And then, of course, is the possibility that she might take the other route--blame SS, and go all Shawn Shatto's mother on us (which I find highly unlikely, but still possible.) And I would never want that to happen.
Just thought I'd post about this, because it's been on my mind. I recognize the dangers in this and I often err on the side of caution; just thought I'd hear some thoughts. I hope I don't start too much controversy.
