Caspers
Lost
- Jun 23, 2020
- 403
I've always wanted to CTB since I was a child. I'm 24 now, but I'm ready. I have SN and all that's needed. One thing that's keeping me is that I have a loving family and a few friends that would be very hurt.
The thing that hurts me the most is leaving my dog. He is really happy when all of the family (pack) are together. He's 11 so he's getting on, but we're planning on having another dog now. I couldn't break a dog's heart, they're just so pure and I truly couldn't bring myself to hurt our new puppy. So basically I've got to wait another 12+ years if I don't want to hurt our new dog.
I'm currently planning on transferring psychologists as mine is great but lacking. He's helping me find someone better. I'm terrified at the idea of getting better, I'm comfortable feeling like crap every day. But if I want our new dog to be happy, I need to try to fix myself up for the next 12 years. This is hard. All this planning and buying and it looks like I gotta be in this horrible world for a while longer.
The thing that hurts me the most is leaving my dog. He is really happy when all of the family (pack) are together. He's 11 so he's getting on, but we're planning on having another dog now. I couldn't break a dog's heart, they're just so pure and I truly couldn't bring myself to hurt our new puppy. So basically I've got to wait another 12+ years if I don't want to hurt our new dog.
I'm currently planning on transferring psychologists as mine is great but lacking. He's helping me find someone better. I'm terrified at the idea of getting better, I'm comfortable feeling like crap every day. But if I want our new dog to be happy, I need to try to fix myself up for the next 12 years. This is hard. All this planning and buying and it looks like I gotta be in this horrible world for a while longer.