Venting Should i relapse

[Rainy_Cloud]

So to start up. I am 87 days clean from self harm.
3 months to be honest longest ive been now.
recently my mental and overall health is getting worse regarding me trying to improve it.
I socialize more in class tbh i shouldnt complain, i try to get medical help, i have bf and stuff .
Yet i feel so lonely, i feel even more exhousted cuz i try to socialize nore , my jealth is worsening but medical staff i get sucks ass , my insomnia is worse and worse but they dont even wanna give me meds while im begging them half dead on chair since my new school year started its even worse now.i dont feel like i have supoort and my bf and my relationship seems bit toxic since he struggles on his own too. I dont know what to do im trying to improve stuff but i feel worse by daz.
I reallz wanna atleast relapse since the pain on my legs even for just few dazs tend to calm me down and remind me of myself.
I dont think im in wrong or bad person. I was just born to seem like it and to be rejected by people.its sad really

 

[avaruus]

Should you? Well it's up to you, of course i would not want you to do that.
I know this sounds stupid, but how about opposite of SH, maybe watch cute cat videos, or similar? :P

Anyway, I'm sorry for your pain. I hope it gets better one way or another.
Here, take a look at this picture of a cute cat:

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

Cats are always lovely.im trying to stay afloat but its getting harder by day.i dont see reason to stay here and it tough pill to swallow

 

[kilowatt]

I don't think its worth it, especially after such a long streak. Of course, relapsing is part of healing, but the kick it gives you would definitely determinate you to do it more and more from now on. Sorry you're going through this, whatever you do make sure you stay safe.

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

I don't think its worth it, especially after such a long streak. Of course, relapsing is part of healing, but the kick it gives you would definitely determinate you to do it more and more from now on. Sorry you're going through this, whatever you do make sure you stay safe.

Thank u.im trying my best

 

[maddog58]

I struggle with the same thing. I was 4 months clean from self harm, but then I broke down a few days ago and fell into self harm again. It only made things worse, so I honestly think you shouldn't. I'm so proud of you for your streak of 3 months! I know once you start, it's very hard to stop. But ultimately, the decision is up to you and no one on this site has a say in your choice.

 

[kaipuff]

if you feel like it'd be the best thing to do right now, then its up to you. i cant say i havent relapsed after a long period and thought the same thing. it was so hard trying to resist for so long, but after i relapsed, i realized i could have another fresh start in a sense. even though my last streak ended, i could do even better this time.

 

[aikoelis6]

i just relapsed after 8 months.... i know how you feel and wouldn't want you to relapse.... sure it helps in the short term, but you just get addicted to it again

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

I struggle with the same thing. I was 4 months clean from self harm, but then I broke down a few days ago and fell into self harm again. It only made things worse, so I honestly think you shouldn't. I'm so proud of you for your streak of 3 months! I know once you start, it's very hard to stop. But ultimately, the decision is up to you and no one on this site has a say in your choice.

thanks i am trying but now my bf is ignoring me since yesterday and staying offline so i feel even more crappy lol. but i think ill manage for now

i just relapsed after 8 months.... i know how you feel and wouldn't want you to relapse.... sure it helps in the short term, but you just get addicted to it again

im sorry to hear that. Stay strong im sure ull get further this time <3

if you feel like it'd be the best thing to do right now, then its up to you. i cant say i havent relapsed after a long period and thought the same thing. it was so hard trying to resist for so long, but after i relapsed, i realized i could have another fresh start in a sense. even though my last streak ended, i could do even better this time.

in a way im thinking the same but at same time i wanna keep going on this one alttho everything sucks

 

[Enlighten]

So to start up. I am 87 days clean from self harm.
3 months to be honest longest ive been now.
recently my mental and overall health is getting worse regarding me trying to improve it.
I socialize more in class tbh i shouldnt complain, i try to get medical help, i have bf and stuff .
Yet i feel so lonely, i feel even more exhousted cuz i try to socialize nore , my jealth is worsening but medical staff i get sucks ass , my insomnia is worse and worse but they dont even wanna give me meds while im begging them half dead on chair since my new school year started its even worse now.i dont feel like i have supoort and my bf and my relationship seems bit toxic since he struggles on his own too. I dont know what to do im trying to improve stuff but i feel worse by daz.
I reallz wanna atleast relapse since the pain on my legs even for just few dazs tend to calm me down and remind me of myself.
I dont think im in wrong or bad person. I was just born to seem like it and to be rejected by people.its sad really

I'm sorry you're in distress. I think you're very strong for having held up this long. It would be very, very good if you could keep it up, but don't beat yourself up for it too much if you would relapse after all.
I'd love to chat with you to ease your loneliness

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

I'm sorry you're in distress. I think you're very strong for having held up this long. It would be very, very good if you could keep it up, but don't beat yourself up for it too much if you would relapse after all.
I'd love to chat with you to ease your loneliness

thank u i appriciate the supoort