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Pollenallergy

Pollenallergy

Sprite
Apr 29, 2023
25
There's a friend of mine I hold very dear, he has been with me through such dark parts of my life, I feel guilty leaving him behind. I know my death would have a bad impact on him, or I would like to think so. Which is where we get to my question.

Should I let him know that I'm gonna ctb beforehand?

I don't want him to just hear the news out of nowhere, I know it wouldn't go well. So I've been wondering if maybe it'd be best to let him know, spend some time together before it all comes to a close.
 
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G

Gaming Chicken

Waiting for the bus
Dec 7, 2022
26
If you have real intent on following through soon, then I'd personally say no. People won't support your decision and will do whatever they can to stop you. I've personally been guilt tripped into sticking around for awhile. I'd go with a delayed text or something set to like 45 mins after planned ctb time
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,455
No--but you could leave a nice note
 
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PreCambrianBliss

PreCambrianBliss

Touring the primordial aeon
Apr 26, 2023
91
This is a hard question. Everyone would want to know about your plans before hand and I'm sure they would like to spend time with you, but it may also make them feel obligated to help you or escalate the situation, and if you still ctb it can leave them with a strong feeling of guilt for not doing more to get you help even if there's nothing they could have done.

I personally would think it's best to spend time with him without mentioning your plans and maybe leave a note for him after ctb. But ultimately only you know the full picture. If it's possible/safe to talk with him about it, I'd encourage you to do so.
 
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D

depressedlover

In Transit waiting for the bus
Apr 12, 2023
178
No,because they might try stop you by all means.They might blame themselves later for not stopping you afterwards and might end up with emotional turmoil.Just write them a very detailed explanation on why you did it,why you couldn't tell them your plans and that they should not blame themselves and more about how you feel about them.That might help them in grieving and having closure but it doesn't guarantee that they won't get hurt.Thats just my opinion though.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,461
No, I think that would be a terrible idea. The reality is that we exist in such an anti suicide society where so many people are against the right to die and are unable to accept suicide as being a logical decision. Telling other people in advance could just cause them to interfere with suicide plans.
 
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Cabbiesevvie

Cabbiesevvie

Member
Mar 1, 2023
19
Hi

I'm in a similar situation to you.
In my case she knows I want to CTB but doesn't know I have SN. To be honest the fact that she also wants to die makes me doubt my plans more.
I kind of want to tell her that I'm going to do that and I just want to tell her something like, "see me as a terminally ill person, I'm going to die and there's nothing anyone can do about that" and hope that she accepts that. I'm still very conflicted if I'm going to say something to her.
She personally doesn't want to CTB but I really hope she accepts that I do want to.
She has a bf whom she hasn't told much about her mental health but I'm sure she can find support by him.
I have already written my note to her and it mostly says that she's not at fault here.
This is just my experience, it may be smarter not to say anything.
I'm going to talk to her tomorrow but am yet to decide how much I will say.

Good luck
R
 
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GoLD_75

GoLD_75

Member
May 3, 2023
13
i understand wanting to, but unfortunately I'd say no. That friend (if they really care about you) will tell people and stop you. But maybe leave them a special note, or maybe even timed text. But personally that would be traumatic asf for the friend. My advice is to do nothing at all, unless you're okay with being put into an institution and recovering. Maybe that friend is the reason you want to stick around :) but if it's your last straw and you absolutely NEED to CTB, don't.
 
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rabid_aspie_yokai

rabid_aspie_yokai

fluffy nonhuman
Mar 23, 2023
60
No--but you could leave a nice note
A letter feels right, it would give him some clousure I think. (I also have this dilemma, when im close to a breakingpoint)
 
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spectraltease

spectraltease

When everything is lost everything is found
Sep 23, 2022
276
A letter is good.
 
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S

Surgical_Mask

New Member
May 5, 2023
2
There's a friend of mine I hold very dear, he has been with me through such dark parts of my life, I feel guilty leaving him behind. I know my death would have a bad impact on him, or I would like to think so. Which is where we get to my question.

Should I let him know that I'm gonna ctb beforehand?

I don't want him to just hear the news out of nowhere, I know it wouldn't go well. So I've been wondering if maybe it'd be best to let him know, spend some time together before it all comes to a close.
You should confide to someone when you're in a dark spot. If you're close to him it's not a bad idea to share your problems together.
 
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