Help should i leave

[cat0boy]

i'm still in school (hs since im 18) and even though i could do wtv i want with my life i js wanna leave the house one night and maybe js die of starvation or whatever happens to me. so i have some sort of freedom for a while with where i go and what i do, then i also have the freedom to choose how it ends.

 

[maplebar]

What if the police go looking for you?

 

[SufferingDev]

I think only person who knows if it's time is you. What are your problems based on?

 

[cat0boy]

I think only person who knows if it's time is you. What are your problems based on?

i really don't want a future. a lot of things go wrong for me, im starting to lose all of my friends slowly, im ugly, i have no skills, i have a short temper, im scared i could lose my bf at any minute, my parents arent the best ppl & neglected raising me properly my whole life, etc.

the thing that really gets to me is the fact i don't have the will to be alive, i feel like its too hard and i dont know why. everything is too much for me and i smoke to make it feel less overwhelming but my plug cut me off. now everything is just too much.

ive always wanted to die and ive never had the drive to do anything w my life. its kind of pointless staying around if im just going to feel like shit anyway, nothing makes me happy and the only shit that does is stuff like weed thats js going to run out anyway.