Venting Should i just jump?

[hxppythxught]

I'm so sick and tired of giving life a try when all I do is upset people. I was trying to vent to my boyfriend by showing him how I really felt, I showed him how badly I wanted to die, but when I didn't show him everything because I don't feel comfortable sharing that yet with him, he got mad at me and started ignoring me.

I showed him the deepest parts of my feelings, something I've never shown everyone before because I truly trust him.

I hate that I upset him, I feel like I'm in the wrong for not showing him, but I know my body is uncomfortable with me doing so.

I want to jump off my balcony so badly, I feel like he'd be better off without me in his life, he deserves someone with fewer mental problems than I have.

 

[FishGoingInsane]

That is not on you, at all. If you aren't comfortable sharing everything at the moment, or ever, then you shouldn't have too. Your boyfriend shouldn't have gotten mad at you over your own privacy. Knowing that you at least showed him some of what's going on should have made him glad, not upset.

I could see how maybe he would want to know everything about that because those sorts of things are very important to know, especially for a partner, but he still shouldn't have gotten mad over it, worried maybe, but not mad.

You shouldn't let your boyfriend being upset get to you, it's your body, your privacy. Hopefully, he'll calm down and begin to understand.

 

[jodes2]

It needs to be at least 10 storeys high. Sorry you're suffering

 

[Source Energy]

Please don't. It's a gruesome and violent way to die. Also, consider putting yourself in his shoes. It is very hard for non-suicidal people to understand where we come from. If you have these episodes often, and he sticks with you, he must love you.

 

[GasMonkey]

No.
Don't jump, is not worth it unless is a HUGE height.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really think that it could ever be beneficial opening up to people about wanting to die, other people will likely just be insensitive and just create more suffering, and this is just the way that many people are. You just cannot trust people and rely on them.

 

[JuliaOnTheNet]

I'm sorry you have to go trough that and hope your partner will be able to understand you are not comf sharing everything and be glad that you have the courage to share what you couldn't do with anyone else.
wether you should jump is up to you, but please think any serious actions trough very well, impulsive actions can backfire or result in only increasing your suffering.
I hope you'll suffer less in the future

 

[FishGoingInsane]

I don't really think that it could ever be beneficial opening up to people about wanting to die, other people will likely just be insensitive and just create more suffering, and this is just the way that many people are. You just cannot trust people and rely on them.

I think there are probably some benefits, such as peace of mind, but I do think that most of the time people won't understand or even try to understand, which would just lead to more suffering as you said.

Although I personally have never met a person I could trust or rely on on for myself, I wouldn't say that absolutely no-one in this world is trustworthy.

 

[lukas19]

It needs to be at least 10 storeys high. Sorry you're suffering

Can be shorter if you go head first.

 

[hellispink]

First of all, you are upset. You are in a status of adrenaline because of all these emotions at once. Do not act impulsively, you will regret it. Take a cold shower and breathe. Only you know what you should do with your life and body. Decide when you are calm. Never try to ctb while you feeling very overwhelmed because the chances of regret or failure increase. You must do everything in cold head. Believe me.

 

[archiemex]

No its not worth it. There are so many risks to jumping. you could end up horribly disfigured and still be cursed with life.