Should I go to my therapy appointment tomorrow?

[wannabe_sage-san]

It's been almost a year since my last therapy there (a public clinic), I've been on the waiting list for all this time. My last therapy session, on a private clinic (affordable for the public), was just a couple months ago, and I stopped going cause I decided to never ask my father for anything again, including money for therapy and medication. I should've gotten a job many years ago.
So, the thing is, I've been losing my will to keep trying and don't know if I want to keep living, so maybe going to that therapy session is gonna be just a waste of time. If it's the same psychologist from before, even worse, then.
I can't buy the means for a peaceful way out, so I've been thinking about letting my esophagitis eat me from the inside, if that's the only way. Not gonna tell them that, though.
Sorry if it was too wordy. But I'm really pondering over this.

 

[MidnightCat]

We always have the CTB route.

However... I've always thought we really should try every last resource as far as we can before using "the last bullet".

IMHO you should try to go tomorrow. When I have to go I try to think something along the lines as: I already have an appointment, it would be rude and inappropriate to not go.

I' be always been very reticent to go to psych ward since I hadn't got the best experience as a minor before, when I started going recently I was terrified. Even worse, I was so bad at it I was told to stop trying... And just go the days I have an appointment once a week.

And even tho I felt horrible, terrified and so on... They do help even if just the tiniest amount.

I may not ever be "good", but as long as I can keep going... I should keep trying. Even those days I'm pretty sure I cannot... We must try until we've depleted the last bit of force we have.


I hope you're able to go and you get helped even if it's just the tiniest bit so you can keep on fighting.

 

[LostLily]

It can't hurt to go

 

[wannabe_sage-san]

Makes sense. And maybe if I can get the right words out, they'll be able to give me some direction. Well, thanks, guys.

 

[SVEN]

I'd give it a try, ctb always remains as your final option.

 

[Worndown]

Esophagitis does not seem very lethal. It could make life less bearable.

From google:

Abstract

Background: Treatment of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) with modern acid-suppressive agents is supposed to be effective and safe. However, there have been only a few studies on the mortality in GERD today. In the 1960s the mortality was 0.10-0.17/100,000 per year.
Methods: From 1990 to 1995, according to Statistics Finland, 78 official death certificates were issued in which GERD was stated to have been the immediate or a primary cause of death.
Results: On completion of analysis data on 52 patients were included in the study. The annual death rate was 0.20/100,000. The causes were hemorrhagic reflux esophagitis in 51.9%, aspiration pneumonia in 34.6%, perforation of esophageal ulcer in 9.6%, and spontaneous esophageal rupture with reflux esophagitis in 3.9%. Thirty-eight patients had been treated with omeprazole or an H2 antagonist, and 44 patients (85%) had severe concomitant disease.
Conclusion: The mortality in conservatively treated GERD has not decreased. Patients with mental disorder, heart disease, or alcoholism constitute the group in which risk of death from conservatively treated GERD is likely to be greatest.