ForgottenAgain
On the rollercoaster of sadness
- Oct 17, 2023
- 958
My whole life has been a battle with mental illness, specifically borderline PD. The last month and a half I've been extremely suicidal in a different way than in the past.
I'm off work now on sick leave, visiting the psych hospital 3 times a week, taking an antidepressant and a sleeping pill.
I was going to adopt a hamster prior to all this, my boyfriend and I built a double cage so we could have two hamsters. Right now I have one.
The medication has made me not steep so low, that and being busy going to the psych hospital and random other life things, however, I still think about death daily.
The nurse told me to keep with the adoption plan, but it's confusing to do that while thinking of dying. I do love animals, I love hamsters, I'd like another one, but getting another one means I can't ctb because I can't abandon my animals nor do I want to put them up for adoption.
I'm so divided...give recovery the 293949th try or not bother...lovely little hamsters...
I'm off work now on sick leave, visiting the psych hospital 3 times a week, taking an antidepressant and a sleeping pill.
I was going to adopt a hamster prior to all this, my boyfriend and I built a double cage so we could have two hamsters. Right now I have one.
The medication has made me not steep so low, that and being busy going to the psych hospital and random other life things, however, I still think about death daily.
The nurse told me to keep with the adoption plan, but it's confusing to do that while thinking of dying. I do love animals, I love hamsters, I'd like another one, but getting another one means I can't ctb because I can't abandon my animals nor do I want to put them up for adoption.
I'm so divided...give recovery the 293949th try or not bother...lovely little hamsters...