Should I ctb sooner or later?

[Rustysoupcan]

I know no one can decide for me, but Im wondering your thoughts. I feel myself going back into my depressive hole and I'm just done with life. The #1 thing stopping me right now is my boyfriend, who is so perfect and the best partner anyone could ask for. CTB soon would be a surprise to him, as he thinks I'm doing well. I don't know if it being a surprise to him is better or not. I know either way he will beat himself up for my death, thinking he could've done more. I guess my question is, would you rather CTB with everyone thinking you were okay, or CTB when everyone knows you are depressed and suicidal.

 

[UKscotty]

I am in a very similar position. My GF is so nice and caring but I just can't stand waking up anymore.
I want to go sooner but the truth is I am a coward and I can't do it.
My desire is to go sooner, the reality is I will probably be here for a while.
Doesn't answer your question as that's a personal choice but that's my view on it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think when or if you choose to ctb is up to you, nobody else knows how you are feeling and it is a personal decision. Personally, for me, I doubt it would make much difference if I ctb when I was okay or ctb when everyone knows I am depressed. All that others would be focusing on is the fact that I ctb in the first place. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering and I wish you well.