After thinking about it a little much, I came to the conclusion that one of the most important things in my life, the thing that keeps me going, is art. More specificaly, art related to death, be it music, literature or painting. My music taste is full of artists and songs that talk about death, my favorite painters would always paint corpses and corpse-like bodies. Also the art that I create tends to revolve around this topic. It's whenever one of my characters dies in one of my stories that I feel alive, when that pain is poured over tha pages, whenever I'm playing a sad song, whenever I paint the way I imagine I would look after I died. It's the combination of this two things, art and death, this sorrow mixed with danger and desire. This is what makes me feel truly alive
