Venting Sexually Assaulted

[hailspark]

Hi,

I don't expect any responses to this but I just had to say this somewhere. I don't know what do and I'm so scared. I've been trying so, so hard to get better and I was and I am but I'm terrified. I was raped a few months ago by a friend from work who I was talking to about my recovery and my struggle with mental health and he was like a brother to me. I thought I was getting over it but I'm not. I know that if the case goes poorly I'm going to ctb. But I don't want to anymore, I know I'm going to live with depression for the rest of my life but I was willing to work through it and I started going to the gym and taking care of myself again and I was doing better. I got into my dream school and I'm supposed to move across the country in a few months but I don't know if I'm going to make it until then. He's had his first court appearance and he has this insanely expensive lawyer and he's rich and it doesn't matter what I do because I know deep down I'm not going to get justice. But if I don't I cannot live with the fact he's getting away with what he did to me. He admitted to his best friend he felt guilty about it and his friend wrote a statement and there's proof from our text messages but it's not enough. I had so many dreams in my life I wanted to do so much. I wanted to go to school so I could work as a chaplain or therapist so I could help people. I just wanted to do something important with my life but I know this is going to ruin any chance I have of happiness. I just don't want to die and I don't want to ctb because of him but I'm going to if he gets away. I just don't know what to do. Before it happened it was the first time I was actually talking to people and really getting better. I planned out my life, I was able to see ahead just a little bit. But now it's all going away and I know I'm going to ctb even though I don't want to. I had so many dreams and it makes me so, so angry that he stole them all from me.

 

[newmoon1]

Hi,

I don't expect any responses to this but I just had to say this somewhere. I don't know what do and I'm so scared. I've been trying so, so hard to get better and I was and I am but I'm terrified. I was raped a few months ago by a friend from work who I was talking to about my recovery and my struggle with mental health and he was like a brother to me. I thought I was getting over it but I'm not. I know that if the case goes poorly I'm going to ctb. But I don't want to anymore, I know I'm going to live with depression for the rest of my life but I was willing to work through it and I started going to the gym and taking care of myself again and I was doing better. I got into my dream school and I'm supposed to move across the country in a few months but I don't know if I'm going to make it until then. He's had his first court appearance and he has this insanely expensive lawyer and he's rich and it doesn't matter what I do because I know deep down I'm not going to get justice. But if I don't I cannot live with the fact he's getting away with what he did to me. He admitted to his best friend he felt guilty about it and his friend wrote a statement and there's proof from our text messages but it's not enough. I had so many dreams in my life I wanted to do so much. I wanted to go to school so I could work as a chaplain or therapist so I could help people. I just wanted to do something important with my life but I know this is going to ruin any chance I have of happiness. I just don't want to die and I don't want to ctb because of him but I'm going to if he gets away. I just don't know what to do. Before it happened it was the first time I was actually talking to people and really getting better. I planned out my life, I was able to see ahead just a little bit. But now it's all going away and I know I'm going to ctb even though I don't want to. I had so many dreams and it makes me so, so angry that he stole them all from me.

Ah I have been through this situation so many times, my happiness has been stolen by people so many times over the years. Well I once read a quote that said:

A boat can never sink unless the water outside it starts pouring inside.

No matter how things turn out, please do not let this incident dictate the rest of your life. Take care :3

 

[milkteacrown]

It breaks my heart how many women and nonbinary people on here have been sexually assaulted. I've gone through the same, and I know it's rough like nothing else. I hope you can heal safely, and I hope your court case goes well. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

 

[bankai]

I can't imagine. Please try your best. But please don't take the bus because of what this fellow did to you. Try your hardest to get justice. If it doesn't happen, don't give up on your life. This world is cruel in a multitude of ways.I'm praying you find justice and peace.

 

[gottacheckout]

I know it's really hard but don't let this asshole have any power over you. If you are able find someone or a group to help you process what happened it would be good.

 

[iset]

I am so sorry that this happened to you

 

[TheLastGreySky]

R

Hi,

I don't expect any responses to this but I just had to say this somewhere. I don't know what do and I'm so scared. I've been trying so, so hard to get better and I was and I am but I'm terrified. I was raped a few months ago by a friend from work who I was talking to about my recovery and my struggle with mental health and he was like a brother to me. I thought I was getting over it but I'm not. I know that if the case goes poorly I'm going to ctb. But I don't want to anymore, I know I'm going to live with depression for the rest of my life but I was willing to work through it and I started going to the gym and taking care of myself again and I was doing better. I got into my dream school and I'm supposed to move across the country in a few months but I don't know if I'm going to make it until then. He's had his first court appearance and he has this insanely expensive lawyer and he's rich and it doesn't matter what I do because I know deep down I'm not going to get justice. But if I don't I cannot live with the fact he's getting away with what he did to me. He admitted to his best friend he felt guilty about it and his friend wrote a statement and there's proof from our text messages but it's not enough. I had so many dreams in my life I wanted to do so much. I wanted to go to school so I could work as a chaplain or therapist so I could help people. I just wanted to do something important with my life but I know this is going to ruin any chance I have of happiness. I just don't want to die and I don't want to ctb because of him but I'm going to if he gets away. I just don't know what to do. Before it happened it was the first time I was actually talking to people and really getting better. I planned out my life, I was able to see ahead just a little bit. But now it's all going away and I know I'm going to ctb even though I don't want to. I had so many dreams and it makes me so, so angry that he stole them all from me.

Respectfully, what's done is done... The desire to punish him is natural, but regardless of the outcome you can't let his situation have control over you. His reputation will never recover.

IF you end your life because of him hurting you than you are giving that monster power over you.

I'm sorry if anyone disagrees, but I'm just stating this and walking away from the subject.

OP regardless if you stay or if you go, you are worth so much more than a predator kicking you when you're down. Write your own chapter, roll with the punch, don't break. Because you're stronger than you realize.