Set my date. No hope left.

[DansDanu]

Hi everyone, so I'm newish to the forum but I've lurked for a while. I've had schizoaffective for most of my life and between the economy and my severe anhedonia, binge eating disorder and ME/CFS my life sucks so much that I can barely get out of bed nor function. I can't even make a PB&J sandwich or play video games for more than 15 minutes anymore. I am obese because of the meds and my disorders causing me to avoid cooking and prefer junk food. I've tried to lose weight but I've failed repeatedly and it's broken me. My family are all narcissistic alcoholics who abused/neglected me starting at 10 years old. I'm on court ordered treatment because of my last suicide attempt where I started a fire trying the carbon monoxide method. Not only that but if I don't do 10 hours volunteer work and write my dad an apology letter, I may go to jail. I'm such a failure though cause I'm struggling insanely even with that tiny bit of work. I have decided that I will CTB on September 3rd, after my niece and nephews birthday party. (Their birthday is in late August on the same day.) This time I will use the night-night method, I have the cornhole bags ordered. Wish I had how to do that method before I had started the fire, ugh fml. I have read a lot of your stories and I wish you all the best and relief from your suffering. Will hang around until my exit date and try to contribute.

 

[CantDoIt]

Hey, I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I wish you nothing but the best. Please be careful with the night night method. Specifically, it seems to be good in theory but it also seems to be something that people fail relatively easily. I have not heard any successful executions of it. Why didn't you do the CO2 method with a portable generator?

 

[DansDanu]

Hey, I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I wish you nothing but the best. Please be careful with the night night method. Specifically, it seems to be good in theory but it also seems to be something that people fail relatively easily. I have not heard any successful executions of it. You could try the CO2 method with a portable generator?

My Plan B is hanging myself in the bathroom with a necktie (even got kneepads to make partial suspension easier, cause obesity has wrecked my knees), and my plan C is hyperventilating + drowning in the lake nearby. I've read all the resource threads already so I'm prepared. In an apartment building now so inert gas of any kind is a no-go, not risking that again.

 

[CantDoIt]

My Plan B is hanging myself in the bathroom with a necktie, and my plan C is hyperventilating + drowning in the lake nearby. I've read all the resource threads already so I'm prepared. In an apartment building now so inert gas of any kind is a no-go, not risking that again.

Oh yeah, that makes total sense. You may be able to get cornhole bags somewhere like Home Depot, but not 100% on that.

 

[DansDanu]

Oh yeah, that makes total sense. You may be able to get cornhole bags somewhere like Home Depot, but not 100% on that.

Ugh so you were right, I just got the cornhole bags and did a test run, using that method with gorilla tape is awkward af. I guess hanging is Plan A now, can't argue with a method that has been around since the days of the Bible.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for, best wishes.