Venting Selfish

[ImFine528]

I legitimately HATE it when close one's pull the whole "You'd be selfish to leave us" bullshit.

I'm sorry, but y'all are the ones downplaying my thoughts and emotions, and forcing life upon me when I'm SUFFERING. Is that not selfish, also? Saying that my intrusive thoughts are just me throwing a pity party for myself and that it's basically all my fault anyways seems selfish, too, considering that they won't even take a minute of their time to think outside their own damn box/mind.

What about me, ya know? What about my feelings and my suffering and my inability to cope any longer? Why can't a consensus be made that everyone deserves peace amongst themselves. No one should be forced into a life of endless suffering against our will.

P.S. I apologize for any grammar errors or awkward wording/transitions. It's been a long and tough past 15 hours. Hell, it's been a long 25 years… too long.

 

[jamie_]

other people's selfishness lead me here so ye fuck it for once i will be selfish too.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, there is nothing selfish about suicide. We all have the right to leave this world at a time of our own choosing and it is a personal decision when to leave anyway. Nobody has any obligations to stay alive as we never asked to be here. I do wish that we lived in a world where our right to die is respected.

I just think that non suicidal people will never be able to understand as they are not suicidal themselves. Some people really are so insensitive and invalidating. I think that it is best to ignore people who say things like that, only the individual knows what is best for themselves as it is their life. I agree that no one should be forced to live.

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

I legitimately HATE it when close one's pull the whole "You'd be selfish to leave us" bullshit.

I'm sorry, but y'all are the ones downplaying my thoughts and emotions, and forcing life upon me when I'm SUFFERING. Is that not selfish, also? Saying that my intrusive thoughts are just me throwing a pity party for myself and that it's basically all my fault anyways seems selfish, too, considering that they won't even take a minute of their time to think outside their own damn box/mind.

What about me, ya know? What about my feelings and my suffering and my inability to cope any longer? Why can't a consensus be made that everyone deserves peace amongst themselves. No one should be forced into a life of endless suffering against our will.

P.S. I apologize for any grammar errors or awkward wording/transitions. It's been a long and tough past 15 hours. Hell, it's been a long 25 years… too long.

YES! They ARE selfish when pulling that card! I sooooo understand and agree with you 100%. I absolutely 100% support the right for each and every one of us to be allowed to stop the insanity. I have tried and failed several times, which led me here.
As much as I support your right to feel the way you do and to stop the insanity, quit the game and CTB at your own choosing, I have to admit, that the same selfishness possessed me when I tried to be a true friend to someone on here who was leaving.
I did not understand they were leaving, as we were talking online, and when I realized it, I felt a horrific sadness and uprising of selfishness inside that made me want to scream at them to please just stay, if for nothing else, for me, just because I asked.
I did not want this person, I had never met, never known, never talked to at length, to leave, for no other reason than I did not want to feel guilty that I could not help this person feel better and decide to want to stay.
And why? I cannot explain, other than it is something that wrapped itself around me like my own survival instinct I have had to overcome during my own attempts, as though, even though we had never met, did not know who each other truly was, or even talked at length, it was as though I was loosing a part of myself.
I left this site for a couple months after that and now I am more careful about how I offer my friendship.
So, yes, they ARE selfish, but honestly, even right now, right where you are feeling the way you do, wanting to leave, if you were to know someone you were talking were leaving as you were talking, how would you feel? How would you portray what you feel? What would you do? Why would you do it? Are you sure?

 

[rationaltake]

YES! They ARE selfish when pulling that card! I sooooo understand and agree with you 100%. I absolutely 100% support the right for each and every one of us to be allowed to stop the insanity. I have tried and failed several times, which led me here.
As much as I support your right to feel the way you do and to stop the insanity, quit the game and CTB at your own choosing, I have to admit, that the same selfishness possessed me when I tried to be a true friend to someone on here who was leaving.
I did not understand they were leaving, as we were talking online, and when I realized it, I felt a horrific sadness and uprising of selfishness inside that made me want to scream at them to please just stay, if for nothing else, for me, just because I asked.
I did not want this person, I had never met, never known, never talked to at length, to leave, for no other reason than I did not want to feel guilty that I could not help this person feel better and decide to want to stay.
And why? I cannot explain, other than it is something that wrapped itself around me like my own survival instinct I have had to overcome during my own attempts, as though, even though we had never met, did not know who each other truly was, or even talked at length, it was as though I was loosing a part of myself.
I left this site for a couple months after that and now I am more careful about how I offer my friendship.
So, yes, they ARE selfish, but honestly, even right now, right where you are feeling the way you do, wanting to leave, if you were to know someone you were talking were leaving as you were talking, how would you feel? How would you portray what you feel? What would you do? Why would you do it? Are you sure?

I had a similar experience on this site. An absolutely lovely member was here for only three weeks and had everything planned from the beginning. I was messaging with them during their final days and hours while they spoke about their preparations and hopes. Sharing those moments with them was a real test of my beliefs. They were incredibly caring and assured me they really wanted to go but they understood how they would feel in my position. I felt inadequate. I didn't know if I was giving that person what they needed. I wished they had been able to hold on a bit longer and see how their situation panned out. They wanted me to tell them the afterlife would be what they imagined and I did.

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

That would be what I would want as well, to go, peacefully, being told about all the beautiful things and places I had seen and been and experienced and all the beautiful things I will see, go and experience on the other side.
I imagine being in the sarco pod while my hubby sits with me, talking with me about all the wonderful times we have had, I close my eyes and dark deep sleep washes over me, when I open my eyes, my husband is as young as when we met again, and I am as young as he, he opens the door to the sarco pod and takes my hand to help me get up and out, we are high in the mountains, the air is fresh and clean, the sun is bright and he asks me, will this do and if I am ready for a wonderful life.
Alas, how long would I have to sleep to wait for him? He is already 21 years younger than I! Just call me Rip.

 

[Nightowl]

They don't care about your emotions, so why would you?
They just make it about them.
Selfish is keeping a person alive and denying their emotions. or worse, forcefully drug them (drug "therapy") and pretend that nothing happened.

I saw a video recently of an old man committing suicide legally with physician assistance, with his family being there and respecting of his choice. Is that really so difficult? People seem to prefer their loved ones dying after prolonged suffering...

 

[Yumeko.dreams]

People only say you are selfish as a way to play the "Pfft. Easy way out" card with a different coat of paint.
In reality, bith parties are selfish, because humans are selfish. Any act that helps you stay alive (or in this case the opposite) is a 'selfish' act. It helps the self. Which is what all creatures by nature do.
Even sacrificing yourself for a child is selfish, you are protecting your genes.
Semantics aside people who play the selfish card are assholes.

 

[Jrmull1993]

The whole "selfish" view and "permanent solution to a temporary problem" are major anger points to me. For the longest time I've made it a point to speak up and confront those who vocalize this view.

It's actually a point I bring up in one of my final letters.

 

[DynamicDepression]

The whole "selfish" view and "permanent solution to a temporary problem" are major anger points to me. For the longest time I've made it a point to speak up and confront those who vocalize this view.

It's actually a point I bring up in one of my final letters.

The "permanent solution to a temporary problem" is the worst one, in my opinion. While their skewed sense of morality might make suicide "selfish" in their eyes, claiming that a person's problems are temporary while not knowing shit about what the person is going through is the most intellectually deficient thing I've ever seen.