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heyhoherewego
Member
- Sep 13, 2024
- 42
I was thinking about this before my attempt today , and after i failed and my SI wouldnt let me do it, ive started considering it. Id like to know if anyone else has thought about doing something like this, or if you think it would actually work or not.
Its hard to go through with suicide (esp a violent method like hanging). you have to come to terms with the fact that you are compressing your blood vessels and crushing your windpipe so your brain can die. Its not a fun thing to do, and if you arent truly desperate, taking that step feels almost impossible. So i was thinking about a form of self sabotage, a sort of anti-insurance if you will. if you do something that will either disgrace you permanently, or end with you behind bars, or just ruin your life completely, would that compel you to take the step? Would i step off my table if i thought an even worse end awaits me if i dont. im not sure. i think its also possible that SI wins in even that situation, and now you have just made your life considerably worse.
im not talking about stuff like deleting your files, or purging your documents, or leaving your job. I mean something you could truly never come back from.
Its hard to go through with suicide (esp a violent method like hanging). you have to come to terms with the fact that you are compressing your blood vessels and crushing your windpipe so your brain can die. Its not a fun thing to do, and if you arent truly desperate, taking that step feels almost impossible. So i was thinking about a form of self sabotage, a sort of anti-insurance if you will. if you do something that will either disgrace you permanently, or end with you behind bars, or just ruin your life completely, would that compel you to take the step? Would i step off my table if i thought an even worse end awaits me if i dont. im not sure. i think its also possible that SI wins in even that situation, and now you have just made your life considerably worse.
im not talking about stuff like deleting your files, or purging your documents, or leaving your job. I mean something you could truly never come back from.