Help Self medicating

[sif]

Hi guys I have a question, this is a bit of a last ditch effort for me to get through a bit more time living. I know some people that I can get almost any pharmaceutical from and I wanted to know if anyone has some advice for self medicating. Please tell me, I accept full responsibility for myself so don't worry about that.

I probably suffer from some personality disorder or bipolar or something and really don't like myself and have some impulsive behaviours when things get bad. I have managed to take benzopdiazepenes in the past without abusing them and am leaning towards them now just for the sake of my own sanity but could you suggest something else that might help me keep me straight while I try to live with my fear of going out the house or interacting with anybody and things. This is why I want to take benzos because even though they can be dangerous, I think they are the only thing that might help me get through the real interactions that I need to like my landlord and doctor

 

[Johnnythefox]

Micro dosing shrooms is being touted as the latest treatment.

 

[sif]

Micro dosing shrooms is being touted as the latest treatment.

Oh I remember I've heard of microdosing ket but not shrooms. I'm not really comfortable with psychedelics

 

[Jen Erik]

Percocet, from a neighbor, proved quite helpful for me when I was coping with a bit of agoraphobia and had to make my way out of the house.

It can be a struggle, for sure. Wish you the best.

Edited to add: very low dose, very infrequent use

 

[sif]

Percocet, from a neighbor, proved quite helpful for me when I was coping with a bit of agoraphobia and had to make my way out of the house.

It can be a struggle, for sure. Wish you the best.

I just searched it, that seems like pretty heavy stuff but I can guess why it helped. Thank you and you too.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Benzos have their place if you can manage to use them INFREQUENTLY. The beast is they are grimly addictive and even if you think you can control them it's so damn hard not to let them end up controlling you.

If you took ONE
Twice a week
Maximum

You may be ok.

Can you have a shot of vodka instead? Or a painkiller?

 

[sif]

Yes I've heard some horror stories about them that's for sure.. I have an addictive personality too, do you really think it's as serious as taking them that little? What if I took one three times a week for example? I could probably settle for some strong painkillers but don't aren't they dangerous when taken regularly too because of withdrawals or is the risk with benzos just a lot bigger? Sorry for all the questions but you seem to know a bit

 

[JustAboutDone]

Please don't think I'm being "preachy" (if that's a word?) but I had the most hideous time with benzos this last year. I was perscribed them and although I took them as prescribed was hooked in ten days.

And the addiction is evil; it's not just you need another, you need a higher dose and sooner than the last or you start getting UNBEARABLY anxious and twitchy to the point you could tear your own skin off.

After six months I cared about nothing else except watching the clock for the next pill. I paced and was edgy like you wouldn't believe.

So I stopped and that was sheer hell. You cannot imagine the blackest thoughts and mental turmoil that torments you and leaves you screaming. I never imagined anything could be that bad. Google benzo withdrawal. Omg.

And I'm not the type to get addicted to stuff!

Edit:

But every cloud has a silver lining and it has given me a much greater understanding of addiction and huge compassion for anyone who is or has been a user or an addict because it's all too easy to fall into a trap and impossible to climb out.

 

[sif]

Please don't think I'm being "preachy" (if that's a word?) but I had the most hideous time with benzos this last year. I was perscribed them and although I took them as prescribed was hooked in ten days.

And the addiction is evil; it's not just you need another, you need a higher dose and sooner than the last or you start getting UNBEARABLY anxious and twitchy to the point you could tear your own skin off.

After six months I cared about nothing else except watching the clock for the next pill. I paced and was edgy like you wouldn't believe.

So I stopped and that was sheer hell. You cannot imagine the blackest thoughts and mental turmoil that torments you and leaves you screaming. I never imagined anything could be that bad. Google benzo withdrawal. Omg.

And I'm not the type to get addicted to stuff!

No thank you I appreciate the recount of your experience, I'm really sorry you went through that and of course I've heard the horror stories but I'm just desparate. I'll try to be safe

 

[JustAboutDone]

No thank you I appreciate the recount of your experience, I'm really sorry you went through that and of course I've heard the horror stories but I'm just desparate. I'll try to be safe

Give them here I shall hand them out one a week!
Seriously have a look at all available options before benzos. Other drugs are available!

 

[killing me softly]

and I wanted to know if anyone has some advice for self medicating.

my personal go to.

 

[sif]

my personal go to.

Haha funny but I want to find a way to cope on my own

 

[Johnnythefox]

Haha funny but I want to find a way to cope on my own

If I knew the answer I probably wouldn't be on here.

 

[sif]

If I knew the answer I probably wouldn't be on here.

Well it's only temporary, we'll find a way whether through drugs or death. Right?

 

[Dead_Inside]

Try a low dose of benzodiazepines.....but..... also try to work with yourself. The low dose starts before you necessarily leave the house - you need to rewrite those pathways in your brain that make you nervous to leave the house. The benzos are much more effective if you use them to do your own cognitive behavior therapy- helped me a whole lot. But they didn't fix me of course. I had to do most of the work. They just kept me from getting completely insane while I was trying to work on my issues.

 

[sif]

Try a low dose of benzodiazepines.....but..... also try to work with yourself. The low dose starts before you necessarily leave the house - you need to rewrite those pathways in your brain that make you nervous to leave the house. The benzos are much more effective if you use them to do your own cognitive behavior therapy- helped me a whole lot. But they didn't fix me of course. I had to do most of the work. They just kept me from getting completely insane while I was trying to work on my issues.

Thank you for that, I'm not really looking to recover but just to get by but I'll take it on board

 

[Dead_Inside]

Thank you for that, I'm not really looking to recover but just to get by but I'll take it on board

I have realized I can't actually "recover" ... I have tried really hard.... seriously. But I can't seem to get myself back to normal. I think it's gone.
But say to low dose benzos. I spend a decade on them. Working to try and pull myself out of hell- and it did work a bit. I was worth it- I was literally incapable of being functional. Now I am at a level that I can hide my issues. Even if you ctb soon, it's worth it. Try some of the therapy modules they have for anxiety on YouTube. Just listen to them. Distract yourself while you do the action. Take your meds. If you get the run away hit yourself- hard. Pain can refocus your brain fast.
Best of luck to you. I am still going to kill myself but I am going to do it only partially broken.

 

[sif]

I have realized I can't actually "recover" ... I have tried really hard.... seriously. But I can't seem to get myself back to normal. I think it's gone.
But say to low dose benzos. I spend a decade on them. Working to try and pull myself out of hell- and it did work a bit. I was worth it- I was literally incapable of being functional. Now I am at a level that I can hide my issues. Even if you ctb soon, it's worth it. Try some of the therapy modules they have for anxiety on YouTube. Just listen to them. Distract yourself while you do the action. Take your meds. If you get the run away hit yourself- hard. Pain can refocus your brain fast.
Best of luck to you. I am still going to kill myself but I am going to do it only partially broken.

Yes, I hope saying I'm not planning to didn't suggest that I'm throwing away a good situation, it's just easier to say I'm not planning to than to explain everything. I just want to say thank you, I can only see where the wind takes me but this felt so heartfelt and real thank you so much. and I hope you get your peace soon too, so sorry to hear you worked so hard and still ended up here

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi @sif have you tried Prochlorperazine? It's a sort of low dose anti-emetic anti-jitter anti-all-sorts drug? Available otc in the U.K. gives a mild spacey feeling at low dose. Different effects for everyone though.

Used to help me sleep/ get rid of migraines/ relax me/ stop me feeling sick etc

 

[lost illusions]

A friend of mine had some kind of mood stablizer. She had ptsd and a fake bipolar and multiple personality disorder but that is what she was medicating with. I tried it and worked ok. I didn't bounce around so much. It started with a k but I can't remember what it's called