Self hatred is narcissistic

[lxci]

Self-hatred is just another form of narcissism. It's still obsessing over yourself, just in a negative connotation.

Fixating on your flaws still keeps the focus on you. Self-hatred often comes with the belief that you're uniquely terrible, which is its own kind of self-importance. Always assuming people are judging or disliking you is still thinking everyone's attention is on you. Even rejecting compliments can be a way of keeping the conversation centered on your negative self-image. Over sharing your problems to people who don't concent to hear them is also a way to shift the narrative upon yourself. (Do not complain about anything to others unless you are sure they want to hear it.)

I'm by no means calling anyone out directly or saying this makes you a bad person. I myself am guilty of more than one of these examples. I just think it's often overlooked how narcissistic self hatred is.

 

[divinemistress36]

Everyone has Narcisstic traits. I just dont think people are aware that they do

 

[lamargue]

self-hatred doesn't need to be rooted in others perceptions of you. i don't think this really applies to people on this forum. self-hatred doesn't need to come from the belief that you're uniquely terrible, but that you're simply not enough.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

"Narcissistic" is typically a term used to describe those who happen to be self-centred with an exaggerated sense of self-importance which is usually marked by one having an outrageous amount of love and admiration for one's self. Hating yourself goes against one of the main key aspects of that term.

Someone obsessing over their flaws is more so due to us being a social species and thus feeling naturally inclined to put a lot of importance on how others think of us. Same thing with talking about ourselves. People in general tend to find that talking about themselves provides them with feelings of pleasure, but this is the case even when it comes to us mentioning neutral things about ourselves. This is, again, a natural inclination that we happen to have due to us being a social species, not necessarily due to some strong sense of self-importance. These are things that are just byproducts of evolution that we do not have much control over. These aren't signs of narcissism behaviour, especially since these do not play into having a grand sense of admiration for oneself.

Those who tend showcase a lot of narcissism traits usually happen to have a high sense explicit self-worth, explicitly thinking if themselves as being above others. The main focus people tend to have when talking about narcissism is this aspect.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's an interesting idea. My Grandma said something similar to me once. I must have been saying how much I hated how I looked and she replied it was vain of me to be so obsessed with my appearance. Nice bit of reverse psychology in a way. I didn't like the idea of being vain at all.

Athough really, in both cases- narcissism and vanity are surely more descriptive of a person who has a very high opinion of themselves.

I'm not sure I agree with it entirely though. I suspect a lot of people with self hatred have internalised hate that's been directed at them. Sometimes by actual narcissists! They have to be among the best in bullying people, gaslighting them and making them hate themselves.

Of course, the narcissist can't have gotten that way by chance either. Undoubtably, they must have internalised things to make them the way they are.

Still- self hatred isn't always expressed. Sometimes, it's just something that's festering in someone underneath and they're doing all they can to live with it without others knowing the extent of it. It's doubt in a way. Doubt that we don't measure up to the rest of humanity. That isn't entirely self centred. It could be that the person is afraid that they can't in fact contribute to society the way other people can.

Plus, actual narcissists display common types of (incredibly destructive) behaviour towards other people. People that hate themselves I often find to be genuinely empathetic towards others.

But sure, I expect most of us are focussed on ourselves. We've been encouraged to do that since birth. Maybe our brains are geared to do that. It's not like we're part of a hive mind. Maybe a person can't even become suicidal without being a bit narcissistic- suicide is all about what we want or what we want to escape.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

People who hate themselves don't prioritize or assign importance to themselves over other people like a narcissist does.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I agree and that's why I always hate that people tend to take pity on me just because I happen to hate myself. When my friends and family cry over my inevitable suicide I'll make sure to mock them and point out to them in my note that they're all idiots for caring so much about an extreme narcissist like myself.