Discussion Self harmers - question & discussion

[Kjo]

Disclaimer
TW - my apologies if this is upsetting for anyone. Please do what's best for you, ignore this thread if it's not something you'd like to discuss or can discuss.


My situation:
So, I cut to cope. It gets me through the day. Hushes the internal battles, etc. I'm clean and sterile about it. Lately, it's been getting dangerously deeper and messier, I think. I'm tired of not being about to stop the bleeding or it leaking through bandages and staining clothes (especially since I would never let anyone see my scars by choice and hide them embarrassedly all the time).
It popped up in my head the other day to switch to burning... To me burning sounds far more painful and scary, but also less mess... is it worth trying?


Questions and discussion:
1.) Anybody burn themselves past, present or considering future? Any advice or thoughts?
2.) Any self harm advice, suggestions, questions etc?
3.) Does it bug you that people self harm? Should the scars always be hidden, even after healing?
4.) Other coping techniques?

 

[inconsequential]

Hi, I used to burn myself regularly.

I stopped because the risk of infection with burns is arguably higher than with cutting. For me, I was a surface area cutter, not that into depth beyond a certain point. The same surface area with a burn is more difficult to work with. I can still flex my sliced up thigh; however, when I burned the shit out of my wrist, I couldn't move it without cracking the reforming layers of skin.

It doesn't bother me what others do with their vessels.

Weed is my cope. Weed, and a lot of crying when I'm alone.

 

[ExitTheDay]

If I still had the will to self-harm (I did throughout my teens) it wouldn't be viable for me at the moment and it would be really messy and noticable, and my cuts would probably get really infected.

If you don't want something that is messy and not too noticable I would go with snapping an elastic rubber band around your wrist, although for me this method wasn't as effective for me as slitting was, but everyone is different.

Burning - although I have never tried it, for me I think it would sap a lot of energy out of me because it is really extreme pain, as with cutting I really only feel a slight tingling sensation afterwards and that was enough to get my mind off of shit.

Anyway I hope you can find a way to cope that suits you best

 

[Pupuce]

I have tried once to harm myself, and discovered that pain isn't for me. I don't remember why I did that honestly.

I do have 2 questions :
-Does anyone uses it as something else than a coping mechanism? Like a self punishment for example.
-If you ever thought about that, what is the precise point of self harming that makes it a coping mechanism? Is it the pain, the blood spilled, the surface of skin harmed, seeing through it, everything I just said, something else?

 

[Kjo]

Hi, I used to burn myself regularly.

I stopped because the risk of infection with burns is arguably higher than with cutting. For me, I was a surface area cutter, not that into depth beyond a certain point. The same surface area with a burn is more difficult to work with. I can still flex my sliced up thigh; however, when I burned the shit out of my wrist, I couldn't move it without cracking the reforming layers of skin.

It doesn't bother me what others do with their vessels.

Weed is my cope. Weed, and a lot of crying when I'm alone.

Thank you so incredibly much for your time and response. I had never never considered it possible for burning to be less risky in an infection kind of way too. That sounds so painful also....

Does weed really help? It's legal here and relatively easy to get I think, but I guess I just haven't tried it because I'm so clueless on it all.

If I still had the will to self-harm (I did throughout my teens) it wouldn't be viable for me at the moment and it would be really messy and noticable, and my cuts would probably get really infected.

If you don't want something that is messy and not too noticable I would go with snapping an elastic rubber band around your wrist, although for me this method wasn't as effective for me as slitting was, but everyone is different.

Burning - although I have never tried it, for me I think it would sap a lot of energy out of me because it is really extreme pain, as with cutting I really only feel a slight tingling sensation afterwards and that was enough to get my mind off of shit.

Anyway I hope you can find a way to cope that suits you best

Thank you for your time and for sharing. Cutting really isn't very viable, I think. The rubber band method and holding ice don't work for me... I haven't found any replacement coping skills, though I'd have years of not cutting. I agree with the way burning sounds...

Thank you

I have tried once to harm myself, and discovered that pain isn't for me. I don't remember why I did that honestly.

I do have 2 questions :
-Does anyone uses it as something else than a coping mechanism? Like a self punishment for example.
-If you ever thought about that, what is the precise point of self harming that makes it a coping mechanism? Is it the pain, the blood spilled, the surface of skin harmed, seeing through it, everything I just said, something else?

I'm honestly really happy to hear it's not for you. I do not like this habit of mine and I'm very ashamed of it.

At my deepest cuts, it was self punishment for messing up. Now I can see coping mechanism and self punishment are almost one in the same, as disappointing others is my trigger to cut.

It's a bit complicated for me to describe, but I'll do my best. First, it must be a certain minimum pain threshold. I could have a large, deep, messy cut, but if I didn't hurt, I won't stop cutting. This is especially frightening because another common coping mechanism for people is dissociation / numbness... It's like I must feel my body again on some level to be alive or to make it through the moment. In some situations, I'll literally claw into my flesh and peel it back... Usually if somebody I love is letting me know how I do something wrong or let them down or something. I can do that under my shirt sleeve and they don't see or know. I don't see the blood or the surface. It's the pain that does it.
The caveat is if I am looking when I'm cutting... It does need to be a minimum level. If I've got ten cat scratches looking cuts, I'll try to go deeper because I'm disappointed in myself that it's so "weak".... So it could be extremely painful that day because I'm not dissociating or whatever but it still won't "hit the mark" to help me cope.

Also, the day after, when it hurts while walking or somebody bumps it or whatever, that pain is additional coping relief without having to cut again...


I feel like like I'm crazy describing it... I know how crazy and sick and twisted it sounds.

 

[RM5998]

1. I used to cut my right forearm and my thighs, but I've stopped now that I have easier access to alcohol.
2. I don't bother with hiding anything. People usually don't notice me, let alone some faded lines on my arms.