Venting Self harm

[Deleted member 19654]

I haven't self harmed like this in years but tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I got overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Now I've got a bunch of cuts over my stomach and hips. I'm mad that I started hurting myself again and it didn't even make me feel any better. I still feel like crap. I don't feel like it's my time to ctb yet so I'm just continuing to make myself suffer while I'm still stuck on this earth. What do you do, to stop you from hurting yourself?

 

[gayprince.exe]

I used to draw scribbles over and over again on a piece of paper when I was trying to not cut. Sometimes it helped. There are many methods out there; try to find the one that works for you.

 

[Ghost2211]

Biting was my main form of self harm. Nails to the point of bleeding and skin off of fingers. I liked the feeling of my teeth in flesh, and the pain it brought. I would use gaming mostly to hold my focus when I got urges. It was very hard to stop, and took months for the cravings to go away. I kept reminding myself how ugly the damage I was causing was. It's really hard to stop hurting yourself. It takes a lot of will and being patient with yourself. Take it one day at a time, and do something nice for yourself each day you're successful.

 

[Lilacmoon]

What made me stop was that my girlfriend made me promise and I couldn't bear to break the promise behind her back if I wanted to preserve any shred of self respect I had. Not a solution for everyone, admittedly.

Good luck, I hope you find a way that works for you.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I haven't self harmed like this in years but tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I got overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Now I've got a bunch of cuts over my stomach and hips. I'm mad that I started hurting myself again and it didn't even make me feel any better. I still feel like crap. I don't feel like it's my time to ctb yet so I'm just continuing to make myself suffer while I'm still stuck on this earth. What do you do, to stop you from hurting yourself?

I'm so sorry to hear this brother, maximum respect for having to deal with the difficulties you have and having the resolve to hold off for so long. I'm so sorry for the darkness you're in and that your self harm hasn't made you feel any better.
I'm not sure I have anything useful to say here, other than you've almost certainly got strength you don't realise you have to hold out the way you have.
Can you call it a fall off the wagon, take it for what it is and don't be too harsh on yourself?
There is love for you here brother and we are the type that struggle to love ourselves, so I'm sending big love to you, its okay to not be 100% 100% of the time.
It's so hard when hopelessness strikes (I refer to those scenarios as a kind of gut punch), this will be no help but I just kind wallow in my misery and like an angry padawan let the hate flow through me (usually I'm emotionally drained at this point and will be gifted a few hours of the little slices of death known as sleep).
Peace, love and respect brother.

DBD

 

[almost_dead]

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It's a weird place to be stuck in. I know I shouldn't do it but at the same time I want to hurt myself. It feels good but it also makes me feel worse.

 

[mooncake]

I'm so sorry you feel like this
Have you managed to stop by now? And don't be mad at yourself. You said yourself that you were overwhelmed by hopelessness.

My selfharm involves impurities in my skin so once I notice what I'm doing I try to destract myself by doing research on skin care products, skin textures, skin conditions etc.. Just things that are loosely related to what I'm doing, but keep me occupied so I don't actually do it. In the end I usually end up on a topic, that is far enough way from the topic that triggerd me, so I can calm down.

I hope you'll find something that helps you cope in a less painful way.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I wish I had the answers for this one but I'm a chronic self harmer. I cut my wrist and legs last night, I just can't stop doing it. I had advice from my psychiatrist was to do something else like snap elastic bands on my wrist, hold ice cubes on my skin etc. Sorry I haven't got any better advice love.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i try to distract myself with things like netflix or mobile games. if i'm feeling especially restless, i'll take to doing chores and organizing things, but i understand not everybody can do that. sometimes i listen to music that matches my mood, and focus on the lyrics or the singer's voice.

i haven't stopped completely, so i don't have any better advice for you. like barbie said, try a rubber band on your wrist or another 'less harmful' method.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

i try to distract myself with things like netflix or mobile games. if i'm feeling especially restless, i'll take to doing chores and organizing things, but i understand not everybody can do that. sometimes i listen to music that matches my mood, and focus on the lyrics or the singer's voice.

i haven't stopped completely, so i don't have any better advice for you. like barbie said, try a rubber band on your wrist or another 'less harmful' method.

That's great that you can distract yourself by being productive and doing chores. I certainly wish I had the motivation to do that. Think I might give the rubber band a go.

 

[ghostspace]

Something that helped me was taking freezing showers or holding my arm in a bucket of ice water. (An extreme version of the classic 'hold an ice cube to your arm instead of cutting.)

Sometimes I just do the motion violently without actually holding anything sharp and pretend I'm cutting. That helps a little, too.

A couple months ago I had to get stitches for the first time ever and just the mess and trouble of it all exhausted me so much I can't be bothered to self harm for now. It's so much work to do it and clean up afterwards, which is kind of funny because it's like my depression is out-depressioning itself.

I hope you're safe and okay either way. I'm sorry you're experiencing this.

 

[tidalwxves]

I haven't self harmed like this in years but tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I got overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Now I've got a bunch of cuts over my stomach and hips. I'm mad that I started hurting myself again and it didn't even make me feel any better. I still feel like crap. I don't feel like it's my time to ctb yet so I'm just continuing to make myself suffer while I'm still stuck on this earth. What do you do, to stop you from hurting yourself?

I think there are two things that help, one is actually forcing yourself to get someone involved when the urge is that overwhelming, calling someone getting someone who can stop you on the phone or with you in person. Second, try things that cause pain but dont cause lasting damage like holding ice or snapping a rubber band on your skin. I'm proud of you for sharing and it's hopeful that you don't think its your time to CTB, but you have got to get into some activities you enjoy for long term healing. Please be gentle with yourself, what brings you joy? Watch one of your favorite movies, go on a long walk, treat yourself to one of your favorite snacks. I hope today is better than last night and that tomorrow is even better than that

 

[clayp]

I heard cutters feel a high is that true max?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I can't be bothered to self harm for now. It's so much work to do it and clean up afterwards, which is kind of funny because it's like my depression is out-depressioning itself.

This is what keeps me from cutting. I just hurt myself with scissors instead. Not sharp enough to actually cut myself but just as much, if not more, pain. It still leaves marks, too.

I keep myself from doing that because it's still hot enough that I can't wear long sleeves. I just dig my nails into my skin or hit myself instead, if I still feel like I have to hurt myself. Once it gets to that temperature... I dunno. :/

...okay, so I'm bad at not self harming. But I can at least try to keep myself from some forms...

 

[BipolarGuy]

I haven't self harmed like this in years but tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I got overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Now I've got a bunch of cuts over my stomach and hips. I'm mad that I started hurting myself again and it didn't even make me feel any better. I still feel like crap. I don't feel like it's my time to ctb yet so I'm just continuing to make myself suffer while I'm still stuck on this earth. What do you do, to stop you from hurting yourself?

Hey, I'm really sorry you're self-harming. You know you can PM me whenever, right?
I have never had the urge to self-harm in this way and so cannot really understand it, but we can talk about whatever, including of course what makes you feel like this.

 

[tidalwxves]

This is what keeps me from cutting. I just hurt myself with scissors instead. Not sharp enough to actually cut myself but just as much, if not more, pain. It still leaves marks, too.

I keep myself from doing that because it's still hot enough that I can't wear long sleeves. I just dig my nails into my skin or hit myself instead, if I still feel like I have to hurt myself. Once it gets to that temperature... I dunno. :/

...okay, so I'm bad at not self harming. But I can at least try to keep myself from some forms...

I'm proud of you for trying!

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I heard cutters feel a high is that true max?

I don't know if I would describe it as a high. It feels good for a bit and then the pain brings me back down to reality, if that makes sense

 

[Antigonish]

I heard cutters feel a high is that true max?

You can feel the high, if you lose enough blood. But mostly it's the persistence of the pain. Sometimes cut just to feel the pain. The sting helps me know I'm alive.

But what I get from it is hard to say. Imagine there's something growing inside you. Imagine with every fear, frustration, anxiety, etc. This thing gets bigger. Imagine this thing growing inside of you is toxic. Imagine that when you cut, you let this thing out. And just for a while, maybe a few seconds all your problems just disappear. Then imagine trying to prolong this feeling. Then imagine looking down and seeing your arms, legs, thighs, etc. covered in cuts.

That's what the addiction of cutting can be like. When something bothers me, I'll cut it out of my life.

 

[clayp]

You can feel the high, if you lose enough blood. But mostly it's the persistence of the pain. Sometimes cut just to feel the pain. The sting helps me know I'm alive.

But what I get from it is hard to say. Imagine there's something growing inside you. Imagine with every fear, frustration, anxiety, etc. This thing gets bigger. Imagine this thing growing inside of you is toxic. Imagine that when you cut, you let this thing out. And just for a while, maybe a few seconds all your problems just disappear. Then imagine trying to prolong this feeling. Then imagine looking down and seeing your arms, legs, thighs, etc. covered in cuts.

That's what the addiction of cutting can be like. When something bothers me, I'll cut it out of my life.

One of those moments when someone doesn't know what to answer back....

 

[blackdogs]

I know this feeling all too well. I just recently started cutting again and I feel ashamed afterwards but the process of doing it and how it feels is addictive and its a hard addiction to break. To stop myself I just get high but sometimes both highs at the same time is hard to turn down. What worked for me in the past was just not wanting to see scars whenever I looked at myself. And I promised people who were diligent on checking.then, I eventually found out I could get high instead of feeling like shit but if I find any other methods to stop I'll let you know

 

[224]

How do I self harm? like what do you use and where and what does it feel like? Why did u start?

 

[Life_and_Death]

How do I self harm? like what do you use and where and what does it feel like? Why did u start?

Do not encourage, manipulate, coerce or help users carry out acts of any nature whatsoever,

 

[Deleted member 19654]

How do I self harm? like what do you use and where and what does it feel like? Why did u start?

I'm sorry but I can't tell you how to self harm.

 

[224]

why did u start?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I just self harmed for the fist time in a long time. Having a really really rough day.

 

[allym101]

I haven't self harmed like this in years but tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I got overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Now I've got a bunch of cuts over my stomach and hips. I'm mad that I started hurting myself again and it didn't even make me feel any better. I still feel like crap. I don't feel like it's my time to ctb yet so I'm just continuing to make myself suffer while I'm still stuck on this earth. What do you do, to stop you from hurting yourself?

I mean it's not any better but I'll take a couple ativan or chug a few drinks back.

 

[Stepheng7287]

I always thought self-harming was only done by attention seekers. Now I'm 24 and think of killing myself everyday and the other night I felt the urge to cut my wrists. (Well the meaty part of my forearms)
The knife was too full to do anything so I just cried myself to sleep instead. I didn't want to cut myself so that I could get attention from others. More so that I could take my mind off killing myself for a second.

I don't know what advice to give you but you should try gaming to take your mind off this shitty world for a few hours. Although controllers are expensive and I tend to snap them in half every now and then. :|

 

[224]

I just self harmed for the fist time in a long time. Having a really really rough day.

Wanna talk about it love?

 

[Dude1983]

What do you get by harming yourself? I don´t really know