JJ-NOHOPE
Tantalus - all desire, no hope
- Nov 26, 2018
- 119
Anyone else self harm ( NSSI non-suicidal self injury)?
Just curious because I don't personally know anyone else who does it.
I cut. My left arm mostly. Sometimes pretty deep. People think I need stitches, but it's fine.
I think there are several main reasons for it:
To have a physical manifestation of the mental agony I am in.
I like the physical pain.
I love, love, love the blood. ( I even write messages to myself in blood on my sheets. Then I sleep in them. So macabre!)
It sometimes stops me from uncontrollable crying.
I think I am punishing myself for something. Not sure what. Maybe being sexually assaulted when very young.
On bad days, it probably keeps me from ctb ( which isn't necessarily a good thing.)
All my friends/relatives think it is just crazy and don't even try to be empathetic.
Just wanted to know I was not alone.
Just curious because I don't personally know anyone else who does it.
I cut. My left arm mostly. Sometimes pretty deep. People think I need stitches, but it's fine.
I think there are several main reasons for it:
To have a physical manifestation of the mental agony I am in.
I like the physical pain.
I love, love, love the blood. ( I even write messages to myself in blood on my sheets. Then I sleep in them. So macabre!)
It sometimes stops me from uncontrollable crying.
I think I am punishing myself for something. Not sure what. Maybe being sexually assaulted when very young.
On bad days, it probably keeps me from ctb ( which isn't necessarily a good thing.)
All my friends/relatives think it is just crazy and don't even try to be empathetic.
Just wanted to know I was not alone.