Venting See some awful pattern in my head because I’m not socially aware

[Journeytoletgo]

Whenever a man approaches me, I always assume he wants me for sex because of my first awful experience from online and I assume this will be the case once he sees I have acne damaged skin and abuse me. So I'm wondering if I waited how my interaction would have went with the last guy and thought of him as a friend and didn't put expectations on him or any guy and just befriended him but I have such an anxious personality type I assume the worse of everything. I should have really saved myself for a nice guy although they judge heavily by looks and waited I wouldn't have such a negative view of myself I messed up so much it's sad because of my mentality

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

A lot of man and woman haters out there in the world are created by this kind of activity . Bad experience /w opposite gender can ruin otherwise healthy individuals from having normal sexual and romantic life

This is one reason why every time a pedophile or kid toucher dies I'm happy

 

[Journeytoletgo]

A lot of man and woman haters out there in the world are created by this kind of activity . Bad experience /w opposite gender can ruin otherwise healthy individuals from having normal sexual and romantic life

This is one reason why every time a pedophile or kid toucher dies I'm happy

Agreed this is exactly why im afraid of men at this point since being abused multiple times smh

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Agreed this is exactly why im afraid of men at this point since being abused multiple times smh

Has the experience given you lesbian tendencies ?

I'm not someone who believes people are born gay. I think a lot of people are driven gay by problems with the opposite gender or even things happening with the same gender

Seems to me the men and women are driving further and further away from each other

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Has the experience given you lesbian tendencies ?

I'm not someone who believes people are born gay. I think a lot of people are driven gay by problems with the opposite gender or even things happening with the same gender

Seems to me the men and women are driving further and further away from each other

No no lesbian tendencies just a disconnect from myself and others. Heightened depression I guess that is magnifying

Some are or they are having more casual partners

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

just a disconnect from myself and others.

I'm sorry you had that experience. I realize that it is through our experiences that we shape the way we see things and the world. So it's totally understandable that you've those reactions. I too have several walls because of past experiences.

And I quite identify with your sentence. I feel very disconnected from people at the moment. Sometimes I felt it before but lately I've been feeling it a lot. I can't seem to connect with people, this speaking in the field of friendship because the rest is out of the question for me.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm sorry you had that experience. I realize that it is through our experiences that we shape the way we see things and the world. So it's totally understandable that you've those reactions. I too have several walls because of past experiences.

And I quite identify with your sentence. I feel very disconnected from people at the moment. Sometimes I felt it before but lately I've been feeling it a lot. I can't seem to connect with people, this speaking in the field of friendship because the rest is out of the question for me.

Is there anyway to overcome this? My guard is completely up at this point.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Is there anyway to overcome this? My guard is completely up at this point.

Only with time, I think. Focus on yourself and let yourself heal. Maybe some therapy and something to help you with anxiety and depression.

 

[Pluto]

I found that when I was brutally honest with myself, my main motivation for wanting a relationship was to feel validated, to feel worthy or to prove that I am not incapable. (My father famously made a comment many years ago about me being "completely incapable", i.e. a worthless retard, which became a subconscious trigger for a long time.)

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being by yourself. There's also nothing wrong with not caring what other people think (though it takes practice!). A relationship as a distraction from underlying discomfort is unlikely to be of much benefit long-term.