Secrets/confessions/things your embarrassed about/things you haven't told anyone

[Soon4me]

k i'm not looking for sympathy everyone here has their own problems
Just sharing my "Secrets Confessions Things your Embarrassed about"
If anyone else wishes to share theirs go ahead !
If not thats ok i totally understand.

here's mine

I CAN'T HAVE SEX

There i said it !

I'm Female 21 years old.I had to have an operation about 2 years ago.It was a possibility that the above would happen and unfortunately it did.
I'm not comfortable going into the details of the operation so i won't Sorry !!!
This is really embarrassing for me to share this with all of you.I have only told one member here about this.

This problem is the cause of my severe depression.
All my friends have boyfriends or are having kids etc
Because of my condition i can't have either.Everywhere i go i see couples/familys and it kills me

Any guy that shows interest in me i just lie and tell him i'm already seeing someone.

And yes i know there is more to relationships than sex and there is also many other ways to have sex and i could meet some guy who would be totally ok with this.But it has still destroyed me.

Anyway thanks for reading !
And feel free to add your own.
Doesn't have to be similar to mine.It can be anything
Maybe you have a secret/confession you want to unload before you CTB ?
Otherwise you would just take it to the grave and no one would ever know.

 

[YaYaDr]

k i'm not looking for sympathy everyone here has their own problems
Just sharing my "Secrets Confessions Things your Embarrassed about"
If anyone else wishes to share theirs go ahead !
If not thats ok i totally understand.

here's mine

I CAN'T HAVE SEX

There i said it !

I'm Female 21 years old.I had to have an operation about 2 years ago.It was a possibility that the above would happen and unfortunately it did.
I'm not comfortable going into the details of the operation so i won't.
This is really embarrassing for me to share this with all of you.I have only told one member here about this.

This problem is the cause of my severe depression.
All my friends have boyfriends or are having kids etc
Because of my condition i can't have either.Everywhere i go i see couples/familys and it kills me

Any guy that shows interest in me i just lie and tell him i'm already seeing someone.

And yes i know there is more to relationships than sex and there is also many other ways to have sex and i could meet some guy who would be totally ok with this.But it has still destroyed me.

Anyway thanks for reading !
And feel free to add your own.

Props to you for your bravery in sharing this. May I ask, what kind of surgery prevents you from having sex? Is there a name for it?

 

[Tiburcio]

The "no-sex problem" seems fucked and I'm sorry for you. But if you really want a child you could adopt one. And I prefer this option and improving his life a bit than bringing another child more to this nonsense and meaningless world.

 

[Soon4me]

Props to you for your bravery in sharing this. May I ask, what kind of surgery prevents you from having sex? Is there a name for it?

Hi YaYaDr
Thanks you for yor comment !
It was Gynecological surgery i'd prefer not to go into anymore detail i hope you understand.Thanks again for your comment.

 

[YaYaDr]

Hi YaYaDr
Thanks you for yor comment !
It was Gynecological surgery i'd prefer not to go into anymore detail i hope you understand.Thanks again for your comment.

No worries. Perfectly understandable. :^)

 

[Tomasnil]

No still cant open and say thay way its like.

Maybe in 2h after i added some currage

 

[millefeui]

Sorry about that. Technically speaking, I can have sex. I just don't have any desire to and body image issues don't help.

Anyways...

I was sexually abused twice. Once by a cousin who is four years older than me, and once by a nanny (yep...). I like to believe those incidents weren't that traumatic, but considering how much rape in fiction (and non fiction) affects me, perhaps I am just pointlessly lying to myself.

 

[becca]

sorry
i am on holidays from school now,i spoke with my best friend today,me and my best friend dont hang out together in school anymore for months now,because we are getting bullied and teased,even when we dont hang out together in school,we still get bullied and teased,we have decided that when we go back to school,we are going to be best friends again,and we dont CARE what anyone says,AND YES I LIED,i like my best friend,and today i told her,and she said she likes me to,AND YES WE KISSED AGAIN,and we dont care what anyone says,when we go back to school,when they say that we are lesbians,we will say,YES WE ARE ... AND SO WHAT.

I AM A LESBIAN,ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,ARE LESBIANS,and if people dont like it,THATS THEIR PROBLEM.

 

[YaYaDr]

sorry
i am on holidays from school now,i spoke with my best friend today,me and my best friend dont hang out together in school anymore for months now,because we are getting bullied and teased,even when we dont hang out together in school,we still get bullied and teased,we have decided that when we go back to school,we are going to be best friends again,and we dont CARE what anyone says,AND YES I LIED,i like my best friend,and today i told her,and she said she likes me to,AND YES WE KISSED AGAIN,and we dont care what anyone says,when we go back to school,when they say that we are lesbians,we will say,YES WE ARE ... AND SO WHAT.

I AM A LESBIAN,ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,ARE LESBIANS,and if people dont like it,THATS THEIR PROBLEM.

You go girl!

 

[Readytogo227]

I'm in love with a man who doesn't feel the same way, and I'll never tell him BC I don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

[millefeui]

sorry
i am on holidays from school now,i spoke with my best friend today,me and my best friend dont hang out together in school anymore for months now,because we are getting bullied and teased,even when we dont hang out together in school,we still get bullied and teased,we have decided that when we go back to school,we are going to be best friends again,and we dont CARE what anyone says,AND YES I LIED,i like my best friend,and today i told her,and she said she likes me to,AND YES WE KISSED AGAIN,and we dont care what anyone says,when we go back to school,when they say that we are lesbians,we will say,YES WE ARE ... AND SO WHAT.

I AM A LESBIAN,ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,ARE LESBIANS,and if people dont like it,THATS THEIR PROBLEM.

Good for you. I hope you two have a happy relationship.

 

[Life sucks]

I think as my life is mostly alone, its a secret but a very boring one. And I can't say all of it.

Sexuality? I think my fantasies are many and embarrassing to say and I hate the judgmental and toxic people so no I won't say anything.

But I will say a little secret. I have a strong correlation between love and sex, and the stronger emotional attraction gives more sexual attraction. (both real women or fictional characters).

However, I don't care about relationships right now and I think I've became old. I didn't had real sex at all but Fantasies are enough for me now. I don't want to drag any person to my personal area as I'm isolated and don't want any kind of interference and I don't want to make more burdens on me and the partners.

 

[Nauseated]

k i'm not looking for sympathy everyone here has their own problems
Just sharing my "Secrets Confessions Things your Embarrassed about"
If anyone else wishes to share theirs go ahead !
If not thats ok i totally understand.

here's mine

I CAN'T HAVE SEX

There i said it !

I'm Female 21 years old.I had to have an operation about 2 years ago.It was a possibility that the above would happen and unfortunately it did.
I'm not comfortable going into the details of the operation so i won't Sorry !!!
This is really embarrassing for me to share this with all of you.I have only told one member here about this.

This problem is the cause of my severe depression.
All my friends have boyfriends or are having kids etc
Because of my condition i can't have either.Everywhere i go i see couples/familys and it kills me

Any guy that shows interest in me i just lie and tell him i'm already seeing someone.

And yes i know there is more to relationships than sex and there is also many other ways to have sex and i could meet some guy who would be totally ok with this.But it has still destroyed me.

Anyway thanks for reading !
And feel free to add your own.
Doesn't have to be similar to mine.It can be anything
Maybe you have a secret/confession you want to unload before you CTB ?
Otherwise you would just take it to the grave and no one would ever know.

So this is going to sound strange, but I am in a somewhat similar circumstance as a male and have never told anyone about this and it is one of the biggest reasons to my depression as well. Disclaimer this might be a little to much information for some people but I have to get this out.I was dating my ex for about 5 years at the time and we use to fuck like maniacs so one night we had already had sex 3 times and decided to go for another round (stupid in hindsight) since I was exhausted and was having trouble staying fully erect. So she is on top and we were going pretty hard when my dick slipped out and she came down full force with all her weight and literally broke my dick. I had to go to the hospital for a penile fracture and have surgery it was swollen up and was black and purple. Well needless to say it didnt heal properly and has left me essentially impotent and with that came losing my manhood and my girlfriend following shortly after. I'm sorry if that was explicit and gross I just needed to voice that.

 

[Tomasnil]

sorry
i am on holidays from school now,i spoke with my best friend today,me and my best friend dont hang out together in school anymore for months now,because we are getting bullied and teased,even when we dont hang out together in school,we still get bullied and teased,we have decided that when we go back to school,we are going to be best friends again,and we dont CARE what anyone says,AND YES I LIED,i like my best friend,and today i told her,and she said she likes me to,AND YES WE KISSED AGAIN,and we dont care what anyone says,when we go back to school,when they say that we are lesbians,we will say,YES WE ARE ... AND SO WHAT.

I AM A LESBIAN,ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,ARE LESBIANS,and if people dont like it,THATS THEIR PROBLEM.

Best way to end temptation is to give in to it.

 

[Fylobatica]

I CAN'T HAVE SEX

Me too, but it's because of my looks, plus a severe form of dermatitis that makes me objectively ugly and unpleasant to interact with.

 

[Soon4me]

No still cant open and say thay way its like.

Maybe in 2h after i added some currage

Hi Tomasnil
It's ok.
It's only if you want to !

 

[Soon4me]

Sorry about that. Technically speaking, I can have sex. I just don't have any desire to and body image issues don't help.

Anyways...

I was sexually abused twice. Once by a cousin who is four years older than me, and once by a nanny (yep...). I like to believe those incidents weren't that traumatic, but considering how much rape in fiction (and non fiction) affects me, perhaps I am just pointlessly lying to myself.

Thank You !
and sorry about you also.

 

[Soon4me]

sorry
i am on holidays from school now,i spoke with my best friend today,me and my best friend dont hang out together in school anymore for months now,because we are getting bullied and teased,even when we dont hang out together in school,we still get bullied and teased,we have decided that when we go back to school,we are going to be best friends again,and we dont CARE what anyone says,AND YES I LIED,i like my best friend,and today i told her,and she said she likes me to,AND YES WE KISSED AGAIN,and we dont care what anyone says,when we go back to school,when they say that we are lesbians,we will say,YES WE ARE ... AND SO WHAT.

I AM A LESBIAN,ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,ARE LESBIANS,and if people dont like it,THATS THEIR PROBLEM.

Good for you becca ! :)

 

[Soon4me]

I'm in love with a man who doesn't feel the same way, and I'll never tell him BC I don't want to ruin our friendship.

Sorry about that.
I had similar situation before.

 

[Soon4me]

So this is going to sound strange, but I am in a somewhat similar circumstance as a male and have never told anyone about this and it is one of the biggest reasons to my depression as well. Disclaimer this might be a little to much information for some people but I have to get this out.I was dating my ex for about 5 years at the time and we use to fuck like maniacs so one night we had already had sex 3 times and decided to go for another round (stupid in hindsight) since I was exhausted and was having trouble staying fully erect. So she is on top and we were going pretty hard when my dick slipped out and she came down full force with all her weight and literally broke my dick. I had to go to the hospital for a penile fracture and have surgery it was swollen up and was black and purple. Well needless to say it didnt heal properly and has left me essentially impotent and with that came losing my manhood and my girlfriend following shortly after. I'm sorry if that was explicit and gross I just needed to voice that.

Hi Nauseated
sorry to hear about that
I guess your the male version of me
"losing my manhood"
I think i I understand this
for me i don't even feel like a woman anymore i don't even know what i am ? if that make sense ?

 

[Soon4me]

I think as my life is mostly alone, its a secret but a very boring one. And I can't say all of it.

Sexuality? I think my fantasies are many and embarrassing to say and I hate the judgmental and toxic people so no I won't say anything.

But I will say a little secret. I have a strong correlation between love and sex, and the stronger emotional attraction gives more sexual attraction. (both real women or fictional characters).

However, I don't care about relationships right now and I think I've became old. I didn't had real sex at all but Fantasies are enough for me now. I don't want to drag any person to my personal area as I'm isolated and don't want any kind of interference and I don't want to make more burdens on me and the partners.

Life sucks
Thank you for sharing !

 

[Soon4me]

Me too, but it's because of my looks, plus a severe form of dermatitis that makes me objectively ugly and unpleasant to interact with.

Hi Fylobatica
Sorry to hear about that
Thanks for sharing !

 

[Imaginos]

Enh, I don't know. I'm too boring to have secrets, frankly. There's really not much I can think of other than stupid, trivial stuff that could barely meet the definition. As far as embarrassing goes, well.......hmpf. Again, I sorta draw a blank. I mean, I did frequent Wizchan & Hikkichan for about a couple months or so a little while back. That's somewhat embarrassing to admit, I guess. It's kinda funny though that I do, more or less, meet the actual definition of a "wizard", I'm pretty sure I was one of the very few who even did at that place, (30 year old male virgin with values of non-spiritual asceticism & total detachment from the world & other people), which is probably what drew me there in the first place. What a mistake that was. The glib, backhanded remarks in every thread, the constant peanut gallery criticisms towards anyone who even dared to express anything personal, the rampant fucking stupidity & shitposting, all the god damned "discussions" and how aggressively argumentative everyone was. I shudder just thinking back on it. Talk about a literal septic tank of a community. Hikkichan wasn't much better. Probably worse, actually. Basically R9K (the height of putridness itself) except if it were a complete fucking graveyard. At least that place finally got flushed down the toilet and was taken offline, thank christ. Needless to say, l know, but all anonymous message boards are effectively just open sewers, filled to the brim with rancid, festering, barely sentient diarrhea that's somehow, against all odds, learned to use a keyboard and thus, in a natural form of progression. proceeds to hurl senseless, gleeful aggression to whomever it is they can. Anyway, whatever. I don't know. Everything's awful.

 

[Soon4me]

Hi Imaginos

"But all anonymous message boards are effectively just open sewers, filled to the brim with rancid, festering, barely sentient diarrhea that's somehow, against all odds, learned to use a keyboard and thus, in a natural form of progression. proceeds to hurl senseless, gleeful aggression to whomever it is they can."
Very good description !
Thanks for posting

 

[Nauseated]

Hi Nauseated
sorry to hear about that
I guess your the male version of me
"losing my manhood"
I think i I understand this
for me i don't even feel like a woman anymore i don't even know what i am ? if that make sense ?

Yes, that makes sense. To me I feel like I have no worth in a relationship now, even tho I'm an extremely loving caring person it wont make up for having a broken dick In the end especially at my age. Sex really is the most important thing in a relationship when your young sadly. I talk to girls but then end up ghosting them because before I end up getting rejected. I feel like I'll never be close to a woman again who would want me. It hurts so bad I understand exactly what your going through and I'm sorry.

 

[Soon4me]

Yes, that makes sense. To me I feel like I have no worth in a relationship now, even tho I'm an extremely loving caring person it wont make up for having a broken dick In the end especially at my age. Sex really is the most important thing in a relationship when your young sadly. I talk to girls but then end up ghosting them because before I end up getting rejected. I feel like I'll never be close to a woman again who would want me. It hurts so bad I understand exactly what your going through and I'm sorry.

Thanks !
sorry for you aswell
I understand exactly what your going through also

 

[Kogoruhn]

My condition is embarrasing but also the reason i want to ctb. Since 4 years ago, i started to become very sensitive to certain stimuli. Its strange but when i have to text girls, i feel like im about to ejaculate. This sensation is unwanted, persistent and only stops when i stop contact through text. Masturbation doesn't relieve the sensation.
I feel like its my fault, i think i conditioned myself to this by abusing chatrooms for sexual pleasure.
Now my life is ruined. Because of this i cant find work, have a relationship or even function normally.

 

[Life sucks]

My condition is embarrasing but also the reason i want to ctb. Since 4 years ago, i started to become very sensitive to certain stimuli. Its strange but when i have to text girls, i feel like im about to ejaculate. This sensation is unwanted, persistent and only stops when i stop contact through text. Masturbation doesn't relieve the sensation.
I feel like its my fault, i think i conditioned myself to this by abusing chatrooms for sexual pleasure.
Now my life is ruined. Because of this i cant find work, have a relationship or even function normally.

Its not your fault and you didn't hurt anyone. We are extremely sexual biological creatures living in a stupid life with stupid rules and laws. Any development in any direction or anything can happens. Its a mess but don't blame yourself. Its the shitty system, corporations and people that don't accept you.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Since we're being THAT honest...

I cared for my mom for a decade before she died. I was in school. And I was a horrible, horrible, horrible caretaker. I left her alone all day and night. I lived with her and did what was needed. But I was young and didn't "get it." The worst instance of abandonment... One afternoon she asked me to hold her. I was too frightened so I made up some excuse for not doing it. Then ... she was gone. I've never stopped crying since the moment she died. The only good that came of that is, having lived a hellish life since then, I'm convinced I deserved it for having abandoned the only person who gave a damn about me.

Please, no nice comments (but thanks for any kind thoughts). My guilt makes it a lot easier for me to do what I have to do.

 

[FlowerWithDeadEyes]

I am in a married to the sweetest most considerate guy on the planet. And that's the only light spot in my life. No matter how wonderful he is. I Can Not get away from my feelings or my thoughts of suicide. They have always been with me and always will be. He is the Only reason i'm still here. But slowly but surely he's just not enough to keep me here. I've set my date to ctb. And I hate not being able to tell him that I love him but I can't keep living with myself just because of him. I know i'm a terrible person. But I just can't keep acting happy when i'm not.