Let me start by saying I know pills are not my best course of actions. I suffer from hypersensitivity (I believe that's the word in English), and therefore other methods such as hanging
have been very difficult for me to execute properly.
Currently I have the following on hand
20 pills x 1mg Lorazepam
24 pills x 0.5mg Alprazolam
12 pills x 30mg Mirtazapine
29 pills x 50mg Sertaline (as hydrochloride)
28 pills x 50mg Sertaline (as HCI)
20 pills x 20mg Paroxetine (as hydrochloride)
23 pills x 10mg Escitalopram (as oxalate)
and 6 pills x 10 mg Metoclopramide HCI to avoid vomitting
Also 80 ml of "BRONCHOLATE FORTE" which contains per every 5 ml:20mg Pseudoephedrine HCI10mg Diphenhydramine HCI5mg Codeine Phosphate
(Might be relevant: Weed & Alcohol (not a lot of alcohol))
After careful and prolonged research, I found that my main hopes of CTB would be achieving a fatal serotonin syndrome while I'm out and depressing my CNS.
Following my previous failed methods, I have concluded the best course of action to be:
Lock both balcony door and main entry doors and toss the key, this way I can ensure that it would take help longer time to come, and also ensure I won't be able to
go outside while intoxicated by those drugs and be stopped by someone.
Currently it is 20:23 in my country, I was planning on doing this around 1 AM today or tomorrow if I'll need more supplies.
Current course of action:
Assume time of losing consciousness to be X
1) Take anti-vomiting drugs X - 2 hours
2) Take most SSRIs X - 1.5 hours (take with whatever alcohol you have left)
3) Take benzos X - 1 hour
4) Take cough syrup X - 0.5 hour or earlier if it feels you'll lose consciousness faster.
Here is the important information I could get ChatGPT to write out by its own
Currently on an empty stomach for over 24 hours, my main issue arises from the fact the peaks of the SSRIs and the Benzos are very far apart, and the anti vomiting drug
reaches a peak very quickly so I need to plan it carefully.
For those familiar with the drugs I wrote, I would like to hear from your experience. I of course would wish to pass out before experiencing seizures and everything else, but honestly at this point its optional.
I'm looking to create a proper plan that maximizes harm to one self, and minimizes risk of survival.
About me:
My wife left me over a month ago and took the kids. No mental health professional will return my call, my savings are dwindling and I've been alone and sad for way too much time. I'm now 23, suicidal since I was 10. Multiple failed attempts and multiple hospitalizations at mental institutes ages 14-17. Studying for a double major in Mathematics and Computer Science in a very competitive university, no immediate family. My mother has been abusive towards me all of my childhood and that is trauma that will never allow me to live a normal life. Now that even my wife has left me, and any other reconciliation attempts / reaching out to people failed, I find it to be in my best interest to plan my suicide as best as I can.
I've been to countless therapists, psychologists, social workers, DBT CBT and any other 3 or 4 letter combination they have like EMDR. I've been diagnosed at 15 with C-PTSD and anorexia nervosa, then at 17 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've been depressed and miserable for most of my life, please if you reply only reply on topic. I do not wish to speak to anyone about my feelings, I know that this suicide method does not have the best success rate. I thankfully already suffer from enough physical diseases that I believe I have a very high chance of succeeding given extensive research on similar cases.
This is a forum for discussing our plans, please do not try to tell me I have stuff to live for or try to get me to re-think. Be helpful, help me make this my last attempt by giving me any important information I might need. I have all those pills at home because these are pills I've been prescribed before and took for months to no avail, this is only a list of those I have on hand on not those that I was given since 15.
I want to know what drugs will knock me out and in how much time so I can take all the pills ideally and just pass out without physically suffering as much. I know that there will be suffering, pain, and a lot of it, especially if I fail. That's a risk I'm willing to take. When I said I don't have a lot of alcohol, I meant I have around 4 shots left of 30 ml at 30% proof. I know it's not much but it surely won't increase my odds of surviving. If taking even more alcohol will increase the risk of me successfully dying, I will postpone the plan until tomorrow so I can get more alcohol.
If it matters:
23M, not in general good health, 80 KG/180 LBS 1.86m / 6'1, not exercising at all the last month. Never had a healthy diet.
have been very difficult for me to execute properly.
Currently I have the following on hand
20 pills x 1mg Lorazepam
24 pills x 0.5mg Alprazolam
12 pills x 30mg Mirtazapine
29 pills x 50mg Sertaline (as hydrochloride)
28 pills x 50mg Sertaline (as HCI)
20 pills x 20mg Paroxetine (as hydrochloride)
23 pills x 10mg Escitalopram (as oxalate)
and 6 pills x 10 mg Metoclopramide HCI to avoid vomitting
Also 80 ml of "BRONCHOLATE FORTE" which contains per every 5 ml:20mg Pseudoephedrine HCI10mg Diphenhydramine HCI5mg Codeine Phosphate
(Might be relevant: Weed & Alcohol (not a lot of alcohol))
After careful and prolonged research, I found that my main hopes of CTB would be achieving a fatal serotonin syndrome while I'm out and depressing my CNS.
Following my previous failed methods, I have concluded the best course of action to be:
Lock both balcony door and main entry doors and toss the key, this way I can ensure that it would take help longer time to come, and also ensure I won't be able to
go outside while intoxicated by those drugs and be stopped by someone.
Currently it is 20:23 in my country, I was planning on doing this around 1 AM today or tomorrow if I'll need more supplies.
Current course of action:
Assume time of losing consciousness to be X
1) Take anti-vomiting drugs X - 2 hours
2) Take most SSRIs X - 1.5 hours (take with whatever alcohol you have left)
3) Take benzos X - 1 hour
4) Take cough syrup X - 0.5 hour or earlier if it feels you'll lose consciousness faster.
Here is the important information I could get ChatGPT to write out by its own
1) Lorazepam
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~1850 mg/kg (varies by study)
- Reference: PubChem CID 3958
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Sedative effects can begin 30–60 minutes after ingestion
- Peak plasma concentrations usually around 1–2 hours
2) Alprazolam
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~331–2171 mg/kg (range from different studies)
- Reference: PubChem CID 2118
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Typically 30–60 minutes to feel initial sedation or anxiolysis
- Peak effect around 1–2 hours post-ingestion
3) Mirtazapine
- LD50
- Animal data vary; in mice, approximate LD50 values:
- Oral (mouse): ~500 mg/kg
- Reference: PubChem CID 4201
- Animal data vary; in mice, approximate LD50 values:
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Sedation can begin within 30–60 minutes (mirtazapine is notably sedating)
- Full antidepressant effect: typically 2–4 weeks of regular use
4) Sertraline
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~419–548 mg/kg
- Reference: PubChem CID 68617
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Therapeutic onset for mood improvement: 2–6 weeks
- Peak plasma ~4.5–8 hours after a single dose
5) Paroxetine
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~350 mg/kg (range depends on the source)
- Reference: PubChem CID 43815
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Peak concentrations in ~5 hours
- Antidepressant effect: 2–6 weeks of regular use
6) Escitalopram
- LD50
- Data vary; some rodent studies suggest LD50 > 200 mg/kg (oral, rat)
- Reference: PubChem CID 146570
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Peak plasma around 4–5 hours
- Clinical antidepressant effect: often 2–4 weeks or more
7) Metoclopramide
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~330 mg/kg
- Reference: PubChem CID 4168
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Usually 30–60 minutes to begin antiemetic and prokinetic effects
- Peak plasma ~1–2 hours
8) Cough Syrup Ingredients
(a) Pseudoephedrine
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~2206 mg/kg
- Reference: PubChem CID 7028
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Decongestant effect typically 15–30 minutes
- Peak ~1–2 hours
(b) Diphenhydramine
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~500 mg/kg (range 300–1300 mg/kg in various sources)
- Reference: PubChem CID 3100
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Sedative/antihistamine effects: 15–30 minutes
- Peak ~1–2 hours
(c) Codeine Phosphate
- LD50
- Oral (rat): ~427 mg/kg (codeine base)
- Reference: PubChem CID 5284371
- Time to Onset (Oral)
- Analgesic effects: ~30–60 minutes
- Peak ~1 hour
Currently on an empty stomach for over 24 hours, my main issue arises from the fact the peaks of the SSRIs and the Benzos are very far apart, and the anti vomiting drug
reaches a peak very quickly so I need to plan it carefully.
For those familiar with the drugs I wrote, I would like to hear from your experience. I of course would wish to pass out before experiencing seizures and everything else, but honestly at this point its optional.
I'm looking to create a proper plan that maximizes harm to one self, and minimizes risk of survival.
About me:
My wife left me over a month ago and took the kids. No mental health professional will return my call, my savings are dwindling and I've been alone and sad for way too much time. I'm now 23, suicidal since I was 10. Multiple failed attempts and multiple hospitalizations at mental institutes ages 14-17. Studying for a double major in Mathematics and Computer Science in a very competitive university, no immediate family. My mother has been abusive towards me all of my childhood and that is trauma that will never allow me to live a normal life. Now that even my wife has left me, and any other reconciliation attempts / reaching out to people failed, I find it to be in my best interest to plan my suicide as best as I can.
I've been to countless therapists, psychologists, social workers, DBT CBT and any other 3 or 4 letter combination they have like EMDR. I've been diagnosed at 15 with C-PTSD and anorexia nervosa, then at 17 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've been depressed and miserable for most of my life, please if you reply only reply on topic. I do not wish to speak to anyone about my feelings, I know that this suicide method does not have the best success rate. I thankfully already suffer from enough physical diseases that I believe I have a very high chance of succeeding given extensive research on similar cases.
This is a forum for discussing our plans, please do not try to tell me I have stuff to live for or try to get me to re-think. Be helpful, help me make this my last attempt by giving me any important information I might need. I have all those pills at home because these are pills I've been prescribed before and took for months to no avail, this is only a list of those I have on hand on not those that I was given since 15.
I want to know what drugs will knock me out and in how much time so I can take all the pills ideally and just pass out without physically suffering as much. I know that there will be suffering, pain, and a lot of it, especially if I fail. That's a risk I'm willing to take. When I said I don't have a lot of alcohol, I meant I have around 4 shots left of 30 ml at 30% proof. I know it's not much but it surely won't increase my odds of surviving. If taking even more alcohol will increase the risk of me successfully dying, I will postpone the plan until tomorrow so I can get more alcohol.
If it matters:
23M, not in general good health, 80 KG/180 LBS 1.86m / 6'1, not exercising at all the last month. Never had a healthy diet.
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