Scared

[Karlala]

I have the means to end my life now why am I so scared to do it .put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger

 

[jimmy7754]

The only life you've ever known is yours.. who is to say something is better waiting for us after our deaths? The pain of life has to become so unbearable you want to rip the oxygen out of your nose and stop breathing because your getting so old and fed up.. but most of us aren't there yet and this is becoming some long drawn out nightmare.. I am very confused about how to pull the trigger too.. I am very much an atheist and I'm growing less hopeful as I get older that my life will ever change.. the only way I could end it right now is to believe I'm at least going somewhere better… which probably isn't the case.. it's a compulsive act to end your life.. can't say I don't think about it everytime I wake up in the morning and perform this charade.

 

[samishii]

I have the means to end my life now why am I so scared to do it .put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger

Ig it's SI, don't know if alcohol would help...i have a similar feeling ig, wanting to die ASAP while also feeling like I can wait a bit longer. I HATE IT

 

[Judy Garland]

I know you're scared. I have the means, and I'm scared too. Part of it is the fear of the unknown, another part is your survival instinct (aka dark spirits telling you all sorts of lies etc.). Take your time, and don't feel like you need to rush into anything.
I woke up from a nap today, and dreaded opening my eyes to this place. My dream wasn't a good dream either, but I physically felt less depressed in the dream I must say. I'm sorry that life is so blah.

 

[Karlala]

Ig it's SI, don't know if alcohol would help...i have a similar feeling ig, wanting to die ASAP while also feeling like I can wait a bit longer. I HATE IT

I'm already drunk sitting here crying

I know you're scared. I have the means, and I'm scared too. Part of it is the fear of the unknown, another part is your survival instinct (aka dark spirits telling you all sorts of lies etc.). Take your time, and don't feel like you need to rush into anything.
I woke up from a nap today, and dreaded opening my eyes to this place. My dream wasn't a good dream either, but I physically felt less depressed in the dream I must say. I'm sorry that life is so blah.

I have a plan if when I'd like to I'm bout to go dark in everyone I know soon and just drive up the cali coast and then do it

 

[nena21]

abusing benzos and alcohol for many years..I never found it helpful with SI. I helps with the anxiety but SI seems to be much more than that. Just like our brains telling us life is better. Its not logical but our basic instinct are powerful. I am terrified too. also drunk

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is so difficult as even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. To me, the gun sounds like a terrifying method and I know that if I had access to one, I would never be able to ctb that way. I would be scared of it going wrong. I believe that for many people it can be hard to let go of this life as this existence is all we know and we cannot comprehend what it is like to not exist.

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you and I know that it can be awful wanting to leave this world, yet feeling like you are unable to. I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do.

 

[CursedSoul]

understandable, suicide by gun is absolutely lethal, 90%, but 10% chance to be handicaped and/or disfigured. It is really hard to accept the potential outcome. See it as gambling, but instead of coins and money, it's your life, like money, you risk to lose it, but this time, you risk to lose a chance to still look normal/have a functionning mind. It is up to you to decide if it's your way to go, and if it is worth it. Best of luck in either way !