Scared to make and reply to posts.

[Ln42]

Does anyone else get anxious when posting? I made a post yesterday with a question I need answering but after posting it, I got convinced everyone was laughing at me for my post so I deleted it after an hour or so, even though no one had replied.
I also get anxious responding to posts in case I say the wrong thing. I'm trying really hard to reply to people and push myself out of my comfort zone but it's hard.
Anyway, I just wondered if anyone can relate or if I'm a bigger loser than I already thought!?
Now I'm anxious to post this ffs!

 

[lovedread]

You arent alone. I dont feel anxious posting here anymore but when i first joined i did. It will get easier, good job making those first steps

 

[Ln42]

It's weird I wasn't anxious when I joined originally but then had a 3 year hiatus and now I'm back it's weird. You are right though hopefully it will get easier and also thank you for replying, it has really helped me feel better about posting this thread.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Good job on making post! I think it's normal when you're new or, in your case, just came back from a long time of being gone.

I know me saying this won't cure your anxiety from posting but just want to reassure you that there's nothing wrong with your post and I highly believe you won't say anything wrong. Even if you do, people are usually kind and can just point it out to you giving you a chance to fix it.

Also, welcome back to the forum
Even though the reasons for joining are sad, I hope you find empathy and compassion here and that that can help you even if just in a tiny way.

Take a deep breath and share your thoughts when you feel like it, they're worth reading!

 

[Ln42]

Good job on making post! I think it's normal when you're new or, in your case, just came back from a long time of being gone.

I know me saying this won't cure your anxiety from posting but just want to reassure you that there's nothing wrong with your post and I highly believe you won't say anything wrong. Even if you do, people are usually kind and can just point it out to you giving you a chance to fix it.

Also, welcome back to the forum
Even though the reasons for joining are sad, I hope you find empathy and compassion here and that that can help you even if just in a tiny way.

Take a deep breath and share your thoughts when you feel like it, they're worth reading!

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the reassurance. I'm not sure why but I've always needed reassurance so you've helped put my mind at ease. I was just replying to people I deemed safe or felt a connection with but have started to branch out!
I may even post the one I deleted yesterday later on the main forum.
Thank you again for such a lovely reply <3

 

[Life_and_Death]

i know its easier said than done but you need to only pay attention to yourself, and the people that support you. as long as you know youre not doing any harm to anyone saying theyre "better off gone" "your type doesnt belong here" ect, then nothing you say should be a problem. people are going to have their own opinions, in some (a lot of cases) controversial to yours. but as long as youre just sharing your life experiences the problem is with them, not you. and i find repeating that to myself has been the biggest help, although i do still struggle greatly with it.

 

[Ln42]

i know its easier said than done but you need to only pay attention to yourself, and the people that support you. as long as you know youre not doing any harm to anyone saying theyre "better off gone" "your type doesnt belong here" ect, then nothing you say should be a problem. people are going to have their own opinions, in some (a lot of cases) controversial to yours. but as long as youre just sharing your life experiences the problem is with them, not you. and i find repeating that to myself has been the biggest help, although i do still struggle greatly with it.

I'd never post anything to potentially cause harm to anyone, I'm also not really controversial so hopefully I'll be OK, it's a good idea to think about it the way you say and I'll try doing the same. I've only ever seen you post supportive things to people and be kind.
Thank you for the reassurance also, it's greatly appreciated.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I've only ever seen you post supportive things to people and be kind.

i say more than just supportive things (depending on your pov). some days i dont say much because im dealing with my mental health, and some times ill say things that can be viewed as non supportive.
but the difference is that im aware of myself. if im saying something 'non supportive' im doing it because im aware of my life experiences and my moral values.

example, i dont like foreigners. this on its own would typically be viewed in a poor light. however with background information and understanding, youd realize that its just a personal view. i dont like foreigners because im a small female with crippling social anxiety. one day i was at work and ended up getting completed surrounded by Syrians that maybe knew 10 words of english. that would be traumatic for a lot of people because of the horrible over whelming feeling.
go head and hate me for my opinion and your lack of understanding

or another example, i dont support other people not being supportive. if i feel someone else is getting hurt then im going to say something and its not going to be in support of the opposing party. you can have an opinion without bringing others down. if you for whatever reason feel the need to hurt others, im going to put my foot down.
go ahead and hate me because i have morals

as long as you know yourself it doesnt matter that other people dont, because some people no matter how many times you explain it or try to do the right thing, will always hate you. and thats on them, not you.

i personally prefer to view it more as "it just didnt work out" we're not meant to be friends/talk and thats fine. i might be missing out on some of their qualities but theyre also missing out on mine. id rather not be part of someones life that acts like that anyway

(i personally find tiny buddha has a lot of good helpful quotes about things like this)

 

[Ash]

I don't read every thread on the site so can't make a properly objective critique but if your posts and replies that I have read, I've never once had an eye rolling or WTF moment or any other negative reaction. I find your comments to be well considered, articulate and sensitive, and if anyone tells you otherwise then they can eff off.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You're not a loser! I'm glad you did not delete your post and we can reply to you! idk how you could get over this kind of anxiety but people here certainly won't judge you.

 

[Ln42]

i say more than just supportive things (depending on your pov). some days i dont say much because im dealing with my mental health, and some times ill say things that can be viewed as non supportive.
but the difference is that im aware of myself. if im saying something 'non supportive' im doing it because im aware of my life experiences and my moral values.

example, i dont like foreigners. this on its own would typically be viewed in a poor light. however with background information and understanding, youd realize that its just a personal view. i dont like foreigners because im a small female with crippling social anxiety. one day i was at work and ended up getting completed surrounded by Syrians that maybe knew 10 words of english. that would be traumatic for a lot of people because of the horrible over whelming feeling.
go head and hate me for my opinion and your lack of understanding

or another example, i dont support other people not being supportive. if i feel someone else is getting hurt then im going to say something and its not going to be in support of the opposing party. you can have an opinion without bringing others down. if you for whatever reason feel the need to hurt others, im going to put my foot down.
go ahead and hate me because i have morals

as long as you know yourself it doesnt matter that other people dont, because some people no matter how many times you explain it or try to do the right thing, will always hate you. and thats on them, not you.

i personally prefer to view it more as "it just didnt work out" we're not meant to be friends/talk and thats fine. i might be missing out on some of their qualities but theyre also missing out on mine. id rather not be part of someones life that acts like that anyway

(i personally find tiny buddha has a lot of good helpful quotes about things like this)

It's good you've got self awareness, it's certainly not something everyone in my real life has. Yes, I would stick to my opinions, especially when it comes to my moral beliefs and values.
Thank you for your understanding and I will check out tiny Buddha.

I don't read every thread on the site so can't make a properly objective critique but if your posts and replies that I have read, I've never once had an eye rolling or WTF moment or any other negative reaction. I find your comments to be well considered, articulate and sensitive, and if anyone tells you otherwise then they can eff off.

Thanks Ash this means a lot. Especially as I'm normally eye rolling myself to me.
If people tell me otherwise can I send them your way as I'm a wimp lol!
Thank you for your kind words x

You're not a loser! I'm glad you did not delete your post and we can reply to you! idk how you could get over this kind of anxiety but people here certainly won't judge you.

Thank you for your support and message. I don't judge others so hope others wouldn't as you say. Thank you for telling me I'm not a loser <3

I really appreciate everyone's reassurance.

 

[Ash]

Thanks Ash this means a lot. Especially as I'm normally eye rolling myself to me.
If people tell me otherwise can I send them your way as I'm a wimp lol!
Thank you for your kind words x

Definitely xx

 

[Arachno]

Does anyone else get anxious when posting? I made a post yesterday with a question I need answering but after posting it, I got convinced everyone was laughing at me for my post so I deleted it after an hour or so, even though no one had replied.
I also get anxious responding to posts in case I say the wrong thing. I'm trying really hard to reply to people and push myself out of my comfort zone but it's hard.
Anyway, I just wondered if anyone can relate or if I'm a bigger loser than I already thought!?
Now I'm anxious to post this ffs!

Yes, a lot, it takes me a long time to post on here. I created several threads through my time here but I deleted them because they didn't recieve any resposnes, thinking that my posts are not really making sense, or that they are not worth responding to, I get nervous when making a thread.
Writing replies takes me a long time too, I usually write a reply but end up not posting it, because I'm scared that I will say something bad or whatever. I'm always careful with my words, but I'd say my replies are very poorly structured and just incoherent rambling garbage.

I wish I was able to vent and share my thoughts on this forum, but it's so hard.
So no, you are not the only one, I relate to your post a lot.
If anyone is a loser on this forum, it's me, not you haha.

 

[Mi Mi]

Does anyone else get anxious when posting? I made a post yesterday with a question I need answering but after posting it, I got convinced everyone was laughing at me for my post so I deleted it after an hour or so, even though no one had replied.
I also get anxious responding to posts in case I say the wrong thing. I'm trying really hard to reply to people and push myself out of my comfort zone but it's hard.
Anyway, I just wondered if anyone can relate or if I'm a bigger loser than I already thought!?
Now I'm anxious to post this ffs!

At first I did
I was here last year originally
But overtime I was very comforted by the similar stories many of us share
The empathy that's shown
I love this community greatly
I wish I was able to give each person the care they have shown me
Give yourself a break

 

[Ln42]

Yes, a lot, it takes me a long time to post on here. I created several threads through my time here but I deleted them because they didn't recieve any resposnes, thinking that my posts are not really making sense, or that they are not worth responding to, I get nervous when making a thread.
Writing replies takes me a long time too, I usually write a reply but end up not posting it, because I'm scared that I will say something bad or whatever. I'm always careful with my words, but I'd say my replies are very poorly structured and just incoherent rambling garbage.

I wish I was able to vent and share my thoughts on this forum, but it's so hard.
So no, you are not the only one, I relate to your post a lot.
If anyone is a loser on this forum, it's me, not you haha.

Thank you for your post, you are definitely not a loser lol.
Your reply is really well structured and very coherent but most importantly to me it's relatable and it's nice to know I'm not alone but I'm sorry you struggle with this also. I guess its just practice, the more we post the more we will get used to it.
I was also wondering about how many people have read this post but are too anxious to respond at all.
Anyway, thank you for replying, I really appreciate that you took the time to do so.

At first I did
I was here last year originally
But overtime I was very comforted by the similar stories many of us share
The empathy that's shown
I love this community greatly
I wish I was able to give each person the care they have shown me
Give yourself a break

Thank you Mi Mi, yes this is a great community, it is now the only forum I participate in.
People in the majority are kind and empathetic.
I think show great care to the community.
Thank you again for responding, everyone has been so nice and reassuring it's helping my confidence.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Yes. I'm always afraid to post Just incase I post something wrong. It takes me courage to post or make a reply. Especially if looking for a partner

 

[Ln42]

Yes. I'm always afraid to post Just incase I post something wrong. It takes me courage to post or make a reply. Especially if looking for a partner

I hear you! I think if you were to post anything wrong someone would kindly point you in the right direction.
Looking for a partner is difficult, as who do you know who to trust? I met someone on here back in 2018 and he was really good and coincidently had the same profile pic as you. However, please be careful as there are a lot of risks. Sorry, I don't want to teach you to suck eggs so I'll shut up but thank you for getting the courage to reply here as it helped me.

 

[LaughingGoat]

Based off this thread, you clearly have a mindful and respectful way of communicating so you'll be fine posting freely on the site. Not saying you fear this, but it's also worth working on being ok that some people may disagree with statements you may make. I often challenge things people may say online to have open discussion. As long as someone is doing so to you respectfully, trust it is in good faith and not a personal attack. And if you do encounter people who make personal attacks, just ignore them and move on. They may be the easiest to remember, but they're the tiny minority on this site.

 

[Ln42]

Based off this thread, you clearly have a mindful and respectful way of communicating so you'll be fine posting freely on the site. Not saying you fear this, but it's also worth working on being ok that some people may disagree with statements you may make. I often challenge things people may say online to have open discussion. As long as someone is doing so to you respectfully, trust it is in good faith and not a personal attack. And if you do encounter people who make personal attacks, just ignore them and move on. They may be the easiest to remember, but they're the tiny minority on this site.

That is really kind of you to say, thank you I appreciate the reassurance.
Yes I do need to also work on the disagreement side of things and taking critism personally instead of seeing it as constructive feedback or just a different view point as you say as long as it's not personal. In fact I think it's really important on this site particularly that people do challenge if something is wrong as in certain circumstances it could mean life or death!

 

[LaughingGoat]

That is really kind of you to say, thank you I appreciate the reassurance.
Yes I do need to also work on the disagreement side of things and taking critism personally instead of seeing it as constructive feedback or just a different view point as you say as long as it's not personal. In fact I think it's really important on this site particularly that people do challenge if something is wrong as in certain circumstances it could mean life or death!

Absolutely, this forum has more serious discussions than can be found in most corners of the internet so it's important that the most accurate information possible is supported.

 

[eatantz]

I'm always scared to post I assume everything I say makes me annoying. You will find a great community here and you will start to feel more comfortable the more you post!