Venting Scared to fail

[milkovich]

I'm very determined to ctb, but I'm scared to fail after my last attempt. If I fail again, I'll be under even more scrutiny & have less options. I'm not afraid to die at all, but I'm terrified of being caught again. I wish they would just let me die in peace. It's making it really hard to settle on a method too. Honestly my ideal method would probably be an inert gas setup, but that's impossible to arrange in my current situation. I keep toying with partial suspension and running away & buying a gun, but both have a very long list of cons and potential ways to get caught. I wish my od had just worked, so I'd already be gone & not worrying about this

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand having the fear of trying to die going wrong, the thought of such is so terrifying to me, it's really hellish and cruel how people cannot just choose to easily die in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.

 

[fkyou]

Same.i envy those who have sn.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I genuinely consider firearms to be foolproof as long as you have access and have done the research for proper technique/equipment. What are the cons specific to you for them, do you live somewhere you can legally acquire them?

 

[momento.mori]

I totally agree with you! I'm not sure if you're open and honest about you wanting to stop existing but I am. Everyone knows my many horrible situation and if dare utter I want to die then it's straight back to psych. I'll never understand why they won't simply allow us to go and finally be at peace! It's like they want us stuck in this hell with them. If I had a friend who wanted to go I wouldn't stop them, I'd just ask for them not to give me details or the day. I'll never understand people, they are so selfish!

 

[PleaseHelpMi]

Same here. I have wanted to try swb or partial hanging so many times yet I am scared both to be found and also to end up in a worse condition of pain.

 

[UKscotty]

Have to make sure it's a lethal method, or a combination of two methods.

Failure should not be a consideration, we need to plan and research.