Scared to commit

[fallingstar]

Life is getting more hopeless. I'm alone and I'm scared. I think about CTB all the time but I'm scared to go through with it. Scared I'll fail and things will be worse. I feel completely paralyzed

 

[58Alice85]

don't feel guilty for being scared bro
fear goes away over time as you get more miserable and miserable (atleast for me)

 

[fallingstar]

don't feel guilty for being scared bro
fear goes away over time as you get more miserable and miserable (atleast for me)

I'm only afraid of messing up & having to live in a worse situation than what I'm in now. If I knew I would be successful, I would have gone already. I wish compassionate euthanasia was legal and accessible in my area.

 

[LostZombie]

If you are scared, I would recommend a method that would not cause any permanent damage in case it fails such as CO poisoning, SN, or any of the methods that will deprive your body of oxygen due to it being reversible without and permanent damage.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Life is getting more hopeless. I'm alone and I'm scared. I think about CTB all the time but I'm scared to go through with it. Scared I'll fail and things will be worse. I feel completely paralyzed

I understand this. In my case everything is well prepared already so I'd definitely die but i'm still afraid of it. Maybe its the fear from those few seconds where i'll have to suffer this huge pain.
I somehow tend to believe the actual reason we're scared from doing it is at least on my case that I am 26 and I find it just extremely unfair that this is it that only because of circumstances i could never decide i was so damaged for life and therefore never had a fulfilled life. So its the tragedy and anger that kinda stops me because i feel absolute fooled from life.
But I think all this anger and sadness won't change anything and I should just force myself to end this senseless existence.

 

[679chocolates]

I'm only afraid of messing up & having to live in a worse situation than what I'm in now. If I knew I would be successful, I would have gone already. I wish compassionate euthanasia was legal and accessible in my area.

the thought of being punished with an existence even worse than my current is such a scary one. i wish i could be 100% guaranteed.

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm living this right now... I kept kicking the can forward until my world completely imploded yesterday... and I felt so ready... I was scared and shaking and nervous but I managed to set everything up and fully try... and I failed... and I feel so much worse now that I know I'm still miserable, my world has collapsed completely, and I can't even take the way out that I worked up the courage to do. So... I was scared as you are about trying and failing... and it turns out, I was right to be scared. This is so much worse than just feeling miserable. Now I'm miserable and completely without any way out.

 

[itsgone2]

I wish I wasn't afraid. Would love to just get this life over with.

 

[PyolaR]

Same, abysmally suffering every day that's progressively getting worse.

 

[doomedforsure]

i hate the fear of killing myself neither. wish i could overcame this shit

 

[setspiritfree]

I'm living this right now... I kept kicking the can forward until my world completely imploded yesterday... and I felt so ready... I was scared and shaking and nervous but I managed to set everything up and fully try... and I failed... and I feel so much worse now that I know I'm still miserable, my world has collapsed completely, and I can't even take the way out that I worked up the courage to do. So... I was scared as you are about trying and failing... and it turns out, I was right to be scared. This is so much worse than just feeling miserable. Now I'm miserable and completely without any way out.

I was going to start a thread to say this but it seems I am not the only one. I am scared I won't go through with it and I know I will regret it later. I am hoping to get drunk enough to stick my head in my noose and "accidentally" fall. Like make the chair move while just trying to get myself dizzy or pass out and be at the point of no return. I am hoping that happens tonight.

 

[itsgone2]

I was going to start a thread to say this but it seems I am not the only one. I am scared I won't go through with it and I know I will regret it later. I am hoping to get drunk enough to stick my head in my noose and "accidentally" fall. Like make the chair move while just trying to get myself dizzy or pass out and be at the point of no return. I am hoping that happens tonight.

Has anyone tried getting drunk before hanging? I think I need to try that. Alcohol does mess up your decision making process.

 

[setspiritfree]

Life is getting more hopeless. I'm alone and I'm scared. I think about CTB all the time but I'm scared to go through with it. Scared I'll fail and things will be worse. I feel completely paralyzed

I don't think there has to be a Hell. Isn't this Hell enough?

Has anyone tried getting drunk before hanging? I think I need to try that. Alcohol does mess up your decision making process.

I am trying that right now.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I'm living this right now... I kept kicking the can forward until my world completely imploded yesterday... and I felt so ready... I was scared and shaking and nervous but I managed to set everything up and fully try... and I failed... and I feel so much worse now that I know I'm still miserable, my world has collapsed completely, and I can't even take the way out that I worked up the courage to do. So... I was scared as you are about trying and failing... and it turns out, I was right to be scared. This is so much worse than just feeling miserable. Now I'm miserable and completely without any way out.

Sorry things have been so difficult. I've read many of your posts and always appreciate your extreme honesty.