Venting Scared of "The Judgement" after death

[Rue89]

As my ctb gets closer the thing that I'm really anxious about is "The Judgement" after death. I believe in God and that I will go to Heaven, but I dread having to relive every bad thing I've ever said and done, and anything else that may happen before I enter Heaven. Even just the unknown of what Heaven will be like is kind of freaking me out, and what if I'm still the same anxious, miserable person there that I am here on Earth? No this will not stop me from ctb. I know I will have to face this eventually, whether that's tomorrow or in 60 years, but I'm still not looking forward to it and I'm kind of scared.

 

[Thinking]

Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
-- Hamlet (William Shakespeare)

Translation:
The only reason people bear the horribleness of life is out of a fear for what comes after death. People are too scared that death could be worse, so they submit to their weary life.

Thoughts:
I would not personally use the word "coward" to describe someone who chooses life, that's their decision and it's okay. I just think about this quote often and I thought it applied to your post here.

 

[SNOB]

it's always struck me as odd how much of America are radically Christian and have these beliefs. I was christened a Catholic (I am from uk) I went to a couple of different Catholic schools and have met very few people in my life who actually have these beliefs. at this precise moment in my life I don't know anybody who goes to church in my area or anybody who has these beliefs apart from maybe my mum.

from what I've seen on this site there are not many Christians beleivers either.

to answer your question rue, I wouldn't worry about it. the chances are once you are unconscious you will stay that way for all of time and be totally unaware of it. the only person judging you is you right now so go easy on yourself ☺

 

[Worndown]

You fear the word of those that try to stop you?
We have created this vengeful god to keep the troops in line.

 

[Rue89]

Thank you. You guys made me realize that it's pointless to worry about what's after death because nobody really knows. My mind is not changed; I believe in God and Heaven, but there really isn't that much detail on the subject in the Bible, not enough to get a clear picture of what will happen. I now realize that it may very well be totally different than how I imagine it being. Whatever happens after death it's got to be better than how my life is now. Now I feel even more ready to go.

 

[SoIntoYou]

Hey man. This gets talked about here A LOT. I made a thread and answered some questions here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/rational-suicide.42985/post-783604
There's a lot of links to different post. Be sure to check them out! Just know that life after death can be more than just the pearly gates and final judgement.