Venting Scared about new job

[rs929]

It's been 1 month since I began a medical leave because of depression. I found a new job in the meanwhile and I'm supposed to start new week, but I'm so scared. I can't stop thinking of suicide and the idea of working to earn a life I don't want is ridiculous. Also I have the feeling I'm not going to be able to keep up mentally with the job (computer programming). I feel cognitively deteriorated maybe because of depression or the meds I'm taking. I'm also super sensitive to criticism so if a boss complains about my work I automatically feel useless and that my career is over.
Also I can barely walk a couple blocks everyday I can't think of working 9-5.
Anyone here is a depressed programmer? Or someone working with severe depression on their shoulders?
Thanks for reading
Life sucks badly

 

[Sherri]

I'm not a web programmer, but I do understand the feeling of working from 9-5 with a depression. Just try and stay calm, be polite to ever colleague, and if a manager criticises you, try and remain calm, maybe you will get a good manager , let us know how it works. Most of workers would kill for a job like 9-5. Mine is full of shits and working till late or dawn makes my depression worse. Not having a steady work hours. Let's us know how it goes when you starts. Even if it's good news, hugs, you got this....

 

[flagmaster]

You are not alone.
I'm at work right now, and I'm not on this website accidentally.

I'm working a night shift 10pm - 6am with one other person. We're on call in an office so if we don't get a call then we're stuck together in the office all night. It's socially challenging.

I just hate it. Every time I'm here. Is this it? Is this life? Time goes so slow.