I think in most cases this is a total waste of time. in the media you will read from time to time clever people who scammed scammers. In most cases there are no legal consequences for the scammers. It is just a waste of time for them. But I don't think they will learn their lesson. And actually I never tried to scam a scammer. I am scared I could get scammed when I try to scam a scammer. There could be another meta perspective I am unaware of. I don't have perfect social skills and I am not a good actor.
Bullying the bully. I sort of did that. But not real intentionally. I think I met many manipulative people in my life and I think I developed counter strategies that work passviely. On average I met more manipulative women. One could argue maybe I was unware of some manipulative men. I have another theory. I am way more selective when it comes to male friends. I have many male friends. If there is something that bugs me about them I won't spend time with this person anymore. However, I crave for love and emotional closeness to a woman. And in most cases I ignore all the red flags no matter how obvious they are. Which might be stupid. I think though I myself have many red flags. For example that I am so clingy and that my whole world is dependent on the potential bond with a potential girlfriend. Moreover, I think I am emotionally very open, honest, naive and sort of unexperienced. In dating some women take advantage of that. Women complimented me for being emotional available. And this is something women with borderline often find really attractive. With psychosis it is also easy to mess with me.
I met very ofen women with borderline. There was a crush I had in college. It was my biggest crush since a long time and coincidentally I found out later she had borderline. Something attracted me to this woman. I felt a connection because I had the feeling she herself knew the depths of despair. Which was rather a gut feeling. Not all borderline women are the same. I am friends for almost two years with a lesbian borderline woman and I am very proud of her how well she manages social contacts. I think she internalizes a lot of self-hatred instead of lashing out against others.
There was this woman I met from a dating app. Later it turned out she had borderline and she ghosted me after a while which was confusing. We were in a short relationship. Even though, some of her behavior was manipulative I still think at the beginning she was very honest with me and I highly appreciated that. She sent me many nudes because she was very sexual. I asked her whether I should send her nudes too something I was very hesitant about. She suggested not to send her nudes. I think a part of her was aware that if her common pattern repeats and this won't hold long sending her nudes could have felt like a massive mistake. And could have induced massive trust issues. I think she was honest with me in this instance because I was honest with her on this issue too. She only sent me nudes that could be viewed one time because she told me otherwise she felt uncomfortable with it. She noticed that I enjoyed looking at them a lot and that sometimes it was not ideal onlybeing able to view them one time. And she asked me whether she should send me from now on permanent nudes. I advised her against that. I told her I am not sending her any nudes why should she send me permanent nudes then which would make her uncomfortable? Her behavior after our date fucked me up for some time. When I realized it was her condition this explained a lot and helped me to cope. Though, this anecdote helped me to come to peace with this whole story. I think a part of her was very genuine at the beginning even though her behavior became manipulative at a later stage.
There were two women who I met in self-help groups. Both of them used self-help group to date. One of them as I found out later dated 5 men behind the back of her boyfriend. She played with me and my feelings. And at the beginning I fully fell for it. Later she started to bully me. Or at least she tried it. I think manipulative people have a hard time reading me. I am too neurodivergent. And at the beginning I am very naive but I am fast at adapting. She tried to analyze my weakspots to hit me where I am vulnerable. I didn't let her look into my cards. I was very defensive. I was not active in bullying her back. Though, her bullying backfired massively. I used strategic ambiguity. She could not be sure whether her attacks actually hit me or not. She was very desperate to find anything to hit me. Eventually she invited her boyfriend to the self-help group to make me jealous. I had to suppress laughing out loud. I realized how offensive it was wanting to bully me for being alone. But actually I feel very sorry for her boyfriend for how much she cheats on him. It was ridiculous the notion I would be jealous of him. Especially when she tries to bully me for a couple of months. At the same time I don't like that this was the outcome. I didn't want to hurt her. Afterwards I cut the contact because I knew she would be willed to do anything to hurt me as much as possible. I was scared of her tbh.
Then there was another woman in my autism self-help group. After the first experience I was more sceptical this time. She was very vague about being in a relationship. The first date was really amazing. We took a 4 hours walk in the nature with very personal deep talks. The second date was a horror movie. It was a board game evening. I found out she did hard drugs very regularly. I felt deceived. She invited a friend that was extremely offensive towards me. He was also massively into drugs, bankrupt, had children and had a person in charge for decisions. I am quite sure this person was either a sociopath or psychopath with the way he behaved. I didn't really defend myself against his bullying because I had the feeling with his aggressions this could become easily physcial. The woman didn't intervene I think she even enjoyed that he bullied me. Later I sent her a text message how uncomfortable this person made me. She just ignored the message and acted like nothing happened. I think she considered me quite stupid because the sociopath also mocked me for that. I think the fact she underestimated me was in favor of me later. After another woman ghosted me I texted this manipulative woman again out of frustration. She started to manipulate me again and I was not sure where this was heading. I acted like I was agreeing to her conditions. In our last self-help group there happened something though. I persuaded her to come to the meeting. Actually, I thought it was silly if she quits the group because of our argument. Someone else called her out for her manipulative behavior in a weird debate. They were sort of subliminal in their attacks against each other. She wanted to drag me into the debate on her side. I just watched the discussion and didn't intervene. The guy who called her out made good points. I felt like there was one devil and one angel on my shoulder. And the devil was a good looking manipulative woman that offered me sex when I let her humiliate me. I stayed passive in the debate even though she tried to bait me into the debate. The fact I ignored her made her sort of angry. She wasn't able to read me because I didn't reveal much about my acutal intentions. Actually I wasn't even sure about my actual intentions. I observed the situation, her behavior and whether I could trust her. And she exposed herself as a pretty phoney person that looks down at me. When she was losing the debate her last move was. Inviting me and others to meet her for another board game evening. (the pretext of the second date.) And I just kept silent, the silence was very awkward and I think she felt uncomfortable to have made an ass out of herself. She was smart enough to realize that we have seen through her charade.
Bullying the bully. I sort of did that. But not real intentionally. I think I met many manipulative people in my life and I think I developed counter strategies that work passviely. On average I met more manipulative women. One could argue maybe I was unware of some manipulative men. I have another theory. I am way more selective when it comes to male friends. I have many male friends. If there is something that bugs me about them I won't spend time with this person anymore. However, I crave for love and emotional closeness to a woman. And in most cases I ignore all the red flags no matter how obvious they are. Which might be stupid. I think though I myself have many red flags. For example that I am so clingy and that my whole world is dependent on the potential bond with a potential girlfriend. Moreover, I think I am emotionally very open, honest, naive and sort of unexperienced. In dating some women take advantage of that. Women complimented me for being emotional available. And this is something women with borderline often find really attractive. With psychosis it is also easy to mess with me.
I met very ofen women with borderline. There was a crush I had in college. It was my biggest crush since a long time and coincidentally I found out later she had borderline. Something attracted me to this woman. I felt a connection because I had the feeling she herself knew the depths of despair. Which was rather a gut feeling. Not all borderline women are the same. I am friends for almost two years with a lesbian borderline woman and I am very proud of her how well she manages social contacts. I think she internalizes a lot of self-hatred instead of lashing out against others.
There was this woman I met from a dating app. Later it turned out she had borderline and she ghosted me after a while which was confusing. We were in a short relationship. Even though, some of her behavior was manipulative I still think at the beginning she was very honest with me and I highly appreciated that. She sent me many nudes because she was very sexual. I asked her whether I should send her nudes too something I was very hesitant about. She suggested not to send her nudes. I think a part of her was aware that if her common pattern repeats and this won't hold long sending her nudes could have felt like a massive mistake. And could have induced massive trust issues. I think she was honest with me in this instance because I was honest with her on this issue too. She only sent me nudes that could be viewed one time because she told me otherwise she felt uncomfortable with it. She noticed that I enjoyed looking at them a lot and that sometimes it was not ideal onlybeing able to view them one time. And she asked me whether she should send me from now on permanent nudes. I advised her against that. I told her I am not sending her any nudes why should she send me permanent nudes then which would make her uncomfortable? Her behavior after our date fucked me up for some time. When I realized it was her condition this explained a lot and helped me to cope. Though, this anecdote helped me to come to peace with this whole story. I think a part of her was very genuine at the beginning even though her behavior became manipulative at a later stage.
There were two women who I met in self-help groups. Both of them used self-help group to date. One of them as I found out later dated 5 men behind the back of her boyfriend. She played with me and my feelings. And at the beginning I fully fell for it. Later she started to bully me. Or at least she tried it. I think manipulative people have a hard time reading me. I am too neurodivergent. And at the beginning I am very naive but I am fast at adapting. She tried to analyze my weakspots to hit me where I am vulnerable. I didn't let her look into my cards. I was very defensive. I was not active in bullying her back. Though, her bullying backfired massively. I used strategic ambiguity. She could not be sure whether her attacks actually hit me or not. She was very desperate to find anything to hit me. Eventually she invited her boyfriend to the self-help group to make me jealous. I had to suppress laughing out loud. I realized how offensive it was wanting to bully me for being alone. But actually I feel very sorry for her boyfriend for how much she cheats on him. It was ridiculous the notion I would be jealous of him. Especially when she tries to bully me for a couple of months. At the same time I don't like that this was the outcome. I didn't want to hurt her. Afterwards I cut the contact because I knew she would be willed to do anything to hurt me as much as possible. I was scared of her tbh.
Then there was another woman in my autism self-help group. After the first experience I was more sceptical this time. She was very vague about being in a relationship. The first date was really amazing. We took a 4 hours walk in the nature with very personal deep talks. The second date was a horror movie. It was a board game evening. I found out she did hard drugs very regularly. I felt deceived. She invited a friend that was extremely offensive towards me. He was also massively into drugs, bankrupt, had children and had a person in charge for decisions. I am quite sure this person was either a sociopath or psychopath with the way he behaved. I didn't really defend myself against his bullying because I had the feeling with his aggressions this could become easily physcial. The woman didn't intervene I think she even enjoyed that he bullied me. Later I sent her a text message how uncomfortable this person made me. She just ignored the message and acted like nothing happened. I think she considered me quite stupid because the sociopath also mocked me for that. I think the fact she underestimated me was in favor of me later. After another woman ghosted me I texted this manipulative woman again out of frustration. She started to manipulate me again and I was not sure where this was heading. I acted like I was agreeing to her conditions. In our last self-help group there happened something though. I persuaded her to come to the meeting. Actually, I thought it was silly if she quits the group because of our argument. Someone else called her out for her manipulative behavior in a weird debate. They were sort of subliminal in their attacks against each other. She wanted to drag me into the debate on her side. I just watched the discussion and didn't intervene. The guy who called her out made good points. I felt like there was one devil and one angel on my shoulder. And the devil was a good looking manipulative woman that offered me sex when I let her humiliate me. I stayed passive in the debate even though she tried to bait me into the debate. The fact I ignored her made her sort of angry. She wasn't able to read me because I didn't reveal much about my acutal intentions. Actually I wasn't even sure about my actual intentions. I observed the situation, her behavior and whether I could trust her. And she exposed herself as a pretty phoney person that looks down at me. When she was losing the debate her last move was. Inviting me and others to meet her for another board game evening. (the pretext of the second date.) And I just kept silent, the silence was very awkward and I think she felt uncomfortable to have made an ass out of herself. She was smart enough to realize that we have seen through her charade.
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