Discussion Saying goodbyes?

[blood orange]

What are your takes on saying goodbyes? Do you think it as necessary or misguided?

I am weary of the idea because of the repercussions. I think the idea of closure is just limited to books and media—it can't really be applied to real life.

edit: I forgot to specify goodbyes for real life; for family and friends, etc.

 

[Soul]

Do you mean in so-called real life, or here on SanSui, or ... ?

 

[blood orange]

Do you mean in so-called real life, or here on SanSui, or ... ?

Sorry about that, I forgot to specify in real life.

I felt like if someone were to act like it's the last time seeing them, it would raise a lot of red flags. The worst part is, some people would interpret it as a cry for help when in reality is far beyond that point.

 

[Melkus2020]

I'm too weak to say anything. I'm just gonna die without any red flags.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I think a suicide note or video is a good idea so your family at least know why you did it, in my case I suffer from so many problems so when I have explained them all I hope they will eventually see it was for the better to stop my suffering.

 

[Soul]

It depends on the situation. I have a terminal illness, which creates an opportunity to make sure I get the right things said before I bow out.

By the same token, since life is a terminal condition we can all make sure to get the right things said. "Goodbye" isn't the most important, probably; love, forgiveness, understanding and that sort of thing mean more.

 

[TAW122]

I think it is a good gesture for the survivors and gives them some semblance of 'closure' even if they may feel a lot of pain and sadness after one's death. For me, that would be a strong justification alone to have it in my note(s) when I go around to CTB'ing later this year.

 

[justfloating]

for me personally I intend on having one last conversation with a person I love. Then once I ahem my plans in place im going to call him to say my goodbyes, if it goes to voicemail id hope he will be happy that he can hear my voice after I pass, maybe it'll soothe him ? And if he pick up it will be harder but I hope to be able to give him close and acceptance with my death.

then I plan on writing 4/5 suicide notes to different people because I want it to be personal

I'm too weak to say anything. I'm just gonna die without any red flags.

for some that might be the right choice. I don't know if you have any loved ones, but I think if you do it is important to give them something to help with the grief, even if its short. I understand it will be hard but the pain on them will last a long time, however you won't have to take it for too long

 

[S1mpleme]

What are your takes on saying goodbyes? Do you think it as necessary or misguided?

I am weary of the idea because of the repercussions. I think the idea of closure is just limited to books and media—it can't really be applied to real life.

edit: I forgot to specify goodbyes for real life; for family and friends, etc.

Doesn't matter to me, I got no one to say that.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I feel that leaving a note is suffice explaining that I ctb'd for myself. I wouldn't tell anyone prior to the fact due to risk of intervention.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

A goodbye I made resulted in criminal charges, so, there's that.

 

[Oyoy]

A goodbye I made resulted in criminal charges, so, there's that.

That's a story. Was it your parents saving your life?

 

[needtogo]

A goodbye I made resulted in criminal charges, so, there's that.

Hahaha how did that go down?

 

[AlreadyGone]

A goodbye I made resulted in criminal charges, so, there's that.

Criminal charges against you or the person you said good bye to?

 

[ctbUniquectb]

all of the below, read my post history and Everything. Will. Be. Illuminated.

That's a story. Was it your parents saving your life?

saving LOL, parents no. fuck the police

Hahaha how did that go down?

USA hates veterans

Criminal charges against you or the person you said good bye to?

me

 

[elacnt]

I've seen some discussion around the forum about that, and some people gave a few tips on how to leave emails and stuff like that. You can schedule emails to be delivered to your loved ones after you've passed away.

I actually think about that. I don't know if I'm gonna leave any emails. But I guess I probably will

 

[the_inbetween]

No goodbyes for me irl. Too risky. Also I feel like I feel less towards people positively and negatively these past few months.

 

[Ireland]

What are your takes on saying goodbyes? Do you think it as necessary or misguided?

I am weary of the idea because of the repercussions. I think the idea of closure is just limited to books and media—it can't really be applied to real life.

edit: I forgot to specify goodbyes for real life; for family and friends, etc.

Im not sure closure is ever really possible

 

[Zimcity]

I really want to say goodbye.
I am a fairly closed in person so I don't express my feeling very well unless it's my partner or my kids. I would like to give my old parents a proper hug and tell them I love them.

But I can't. If I said goodbye and anyone got a hint that I'm suicidal people would panic. I would likely be committed or something and for sure loose the little contact I have with my children already.

You never know what happens. For all I know I'm going to sit down when I'm ready to execute my plan, I'll get cold feet, change my mind and never do it again. I'm open for the fact that something can happen that radically changes me in a heartbeat even though this is well thought out and weighed.

As it stands now I can change my mind and go on with my life as if nothing happened as far as anyone else is concerned.
If I said goodbye to anyone or reached out for help the system would take over and I would be robbed of a choice on my own terms.

I have ONE toy left from when I was a boy. I have an old beat up action force doll wich my eldest boy have always have been begging to play with but I've been too afraid to let him play with it seeing as he's so little and breaks pretty much everything he plays with - (just like me :) ). But on our last day together I'm planning to sit down with him tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of him before giving him the toy and telling him it's his now. That's the closest I'm gonna go to saying goodbye to anyone (apart from letters).

 

[s1mplem3]

Saying goodbye is pointless for me, nobody cares anyway.

 

[highlyvolatile]

I would love to truly be able to say goodbye. Tell my family I love them one last time and have them understand that. Im terrible with goodbyes which is why im still here kind of. Its one person i want to tell bye that i know wont care but i still want to let them know that I care and... Im gonna miss them even if they don't feel the same and probably won't miss me at all when im gone. I still miss them now truthfully. If goodbyes were easy, id probably have been gone. I'd hinted to my sis id give her my game systems and things. And im in the process of getting rid of other personal items. I just haha ... Its never easy saying goodbye. In all the instances where i had to, it's always been hard. The idea of a video is nice. Its something my family would do honestly. I've written plenty of notes but i like saying things in person. But thats one thing I wouldnt be able to probably. I just have to figure out how to say goodbye without saying goodbye.

 

[Jumper Geo]

When my time to ctb comes I will just say to my mum I am staying at a friends for a few day's and I will give her a hug, kiss and say goodbye. I will say, don't miss me to much, I love you.

That way when they read my note with a full explanation I hope they will understand.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

I wouldn't say goodbye irl. My family already knows I'm not happy with life and I'm certain they would figure out what I'm about to do. I would either write a note or schedule an email for later. Swaying more towards a note as I wouldn't want there to be a glitch resulting in my email not being sent.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Saying goodbye is pointless for me, nobody cares anyway.

I care! I really do!
❤

 

[Cjaf]

I'm keeping up a diary and I'll leave a suicide note. I don't write every day but enough give them insight what the last few weeks of my life were like. I write down thoughts and emotions(happy and sad) but also what I've been doing that day. That hopefully will make them understand why I CTB.
No IRL goodbyes.

 

[Manicpixiedreamlast]

I would probably tell my family I am going on a trip, so they can adjust to me not being there. I am planning on having a going away party for this "trip". I would tell them I'll be away for a while. I personally think this way is kinder...maybe?

I am personally against texting someone and saying goodbye ect. Because that could lead to police showing up at your door. My main rule for suicide is not to involve anyone in, international or unintentionally and saying good bye would lead to that.