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draw a circle
out.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 300
There's this Japanese actor (idk if I should inform his name here?) who passed away today and he was found hanged in his house. Allegedly, he killed himself. I didn't know him well (as an actor) but I've seen him in one of my favorite anime's movie adaptation. And of course I'm sad for him, and his family, friends, and fans, all of that.
But deep down, when I see the news of someone (a celeb or anyone) dying because of suicide I also feel something like... wow, they did it. Because I also wanted to do it but couldn't manage to, partly because I'm scared, I haven't found a foolproof plan, and I still wished I could do something to help myself. I'm always scared that something would go wrong and I survived with bad luck but when I see these people on the news, I was like, damn, if they can do it, there must be a chance for me to succeed doing it. Does anyone experience this? I also thought about this when a Korean idol I liked died two years ago. I feel bad since there are people who are directly affected by these people's death, but all I can think about is myself.
I'm just... I don't know. I just want to let this out. I'm sad that he died, but it's so coincidental that he killed himself right at the time I was seriously thinking of doing that (like, my suicidal levels are on a spike or something). I don't even know if this could be called being "triggered"? Because I'm already thinking about suicide all the time anyway. Thanks for reading/listening to this rambling. May he rest in peace.
But deep down, when I see the news of someone (a celeb or anyone) dying because of suicide I also feel something like... wow, they did it. Because I also wanted to do it but couldn't manage to, partly because I'm scared, I haven't found a foolproof plan, and I still wished I could do something to help myself. I'm always scared that something would go wrong and I survived with bad luck but when I see these people on the news, I was like, damn, if they can do it, there must be a chance for me to succeed doing it. Does anyone experience this? I also thought about this when a Korean idol I liked died two years ago. I feel bad since there are people who are directly affected by these people's death, but all I can think about is myself.
I'm just... I don't know. I just want to let this out. I'm sad that he died, but it's so coincidental that he killed himself right at the time I was seriously thinking of doing that (like, my suicidal levels are on a spike or something). I don't even know if this could be called being "triggered"? Because I'm already thinking about suicide all the time anyway. Thanks for reading/listening to this rambling. May he rest in peace.