AnnaJaspers

AnnaJaspers

Experienced
Jul 2, 2019
217
So tired of these people. I had an old friend get in touch with me out of the blue a couple months back, and after some general chit chat, I explained my plans for suicide, etc.

Tonight this person says to me "I am deleting your number. I will only speak to people who live in light and love. You are too dark".

I said "ok, bye-bye". These people are, in fact, a de facto reason for wanting to end it. We live in a world of glibites and smugites who can't see past their own pleasures/own fear of death. Why is it so hard to say "gees, that sucks, and I wish you wouldn't leave us, but I respect your decision. I'm sorry you have been in so much pain for so long, the world is an unfair place, you didn't deserve this. If you must do this, I wish you all the peace in the world. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help? Send you your favrorite cookies or something? Hey I could come visit you, won't try to talk you out of it, but would be nice to see you again, one last time my friend."

WHY IS THIS NOT THE RATIONAL RESPONSE TO PEOPLE IN PAIN? PRAY TELL.
 
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R

realjunes

Warlock
Oct 1, 2019
730
Your words and sentiments are totally rational, I don't understand why people don't understand. You so accurately define people, glibites and smugites, galore! If you don't mind, I will borrow those words for the rest of my life, as people could not be better described. For what it is worth, and we don't know one another, but I respect you completely, am sorry you are in pain, in an unfair life. You nor anyone else deserves an awful life, it is beyond your control. I wish you nothing but peace and love.
 
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UninformedLover

UninformedLover

If you see me active on here...its gotten worse...
Nov 12, 2019
265
Some people don't know how to react to these situations and shut down and some people are to blinded by their own selfish needs to be even the tiniest bit empathic. This person seems like the latter.

Instead of viewing this in a negative light think of it this way - a unhelpful obstacle was removed from your life. In times like this your friends true colors are revealed. Its better to know now then never.

I'm sorry your friend's reaction was the equivalent of standing in a puddle with socks on. People like that are right up there with neurotypicals who tell you to "cheer up and stop being sad" when you tell them you're depressed or something.
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
i don't really mind people who are pro-life, but considerate and genuine in some type of way. the fact you told him about you're plans, and he literally goes and deletes you're number and says bullshit like that is the dumbest shit iv ever seen in my life.

I actually wouldn't even characterize that as pro-life imo. Pro-lifes would try and strongly empathize and often times force positive toxicity in trying to force you to choose what they want you to choose, which is live life, instead of failing to want to understand and genuinly empathize.

however this person literally straight up deletes you're number to prevent any contact or RELATION with you, and then provides the worst justification for something iv ever read lol. its as if they were more so worried about them having blood on their own hands and feeling too lazy to shoulder the weight of you're problems and help you out, that they chose a different way out that wouldnt allow them to use so much energy. that is nowhere near prolife, that's just an absolute disgrace of a selfish person. usually people like that tend to run away in a sense, when confronted with the problems of others, cause they dont give a shit or wouldnt wanna be involved in a situation that could have trouble head their way, aka selfishness.
 
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Pikashuu83

Pikashuu83

Can't Feel Anything
Nov 19, 2019
54
I SO GET YOU, THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IN WORDS FOR ME, I am so so so tired of this, and this is my final straw too.
 
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Talokin

Member
May 17, 2019
77
I remember the days when I would tell friends/people about wanting to die. No one was ever that direct with me, but if they had been, I would have been in such extreme emotional agony.

I'm sorry...
 
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Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
Most importantly : "you didn't deserve this" these are words, strangely, do not hear very often in our lives. We live in a " no excuses " society, where people who had better circumstances than you, will never miss on an opportunity to remind you that, in their eyes , you have " No ExCuSeS fOr BeiNg iN tHiS siTuAtioN", or that you need to " tough up in live" . But I digress, the person in question is a coward, OR she's just an apathetic person who felt less involved in this friendship that you felt she was, and fegned "positivity above all " to just ... politely tell you she didn't feel comfortable /close enough with you to discuss suicidal thoughts with you .
 
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Thereisalwaysachoice

Member
Nov 16, 2019
34
So tired of these people. I had an old friend get in touch with me out of the blue a couple months back, and after some general chit chat, I explained my plans for suicide, etc.

Tonight this person says to me "I am deleting your number. I will only speak to people who live in light and love. You are too dark".

I said "ok, bye-bye". These people are, in fact, a de facto reason for wanting to end it. We live in a world of glibites and smugites who can't see past their own pleasures/own fear of death. Why is it so hard to say "gees, that sucks, and I wish you wouldn't leave us, but I respect your decision. I'm sorry you have been in so much pain for so long, the world is an unfair place, you didn't deserve this. If you must do this, I wish you all the peace in the world. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help? Send you your favrorite cookies or something? Hey I could come visit you, won't try to talk you out of it, but would be nice to see you again, one last time my friend."

WHY IS THIS NOT THE RATIONAL RESPONSE TO PEOPLE IN PAIN? PRAY TELL.
You don't need these people. Be happy to be rid of them.
 
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Talokin

Member
May 17, 2019
77
You don't need these people. Be happy to be rid of them.

I can't speak for OP, but that was my thinking for a time. After years of this, I'm basically completely alone and "happy" is not even remotely a part of my language anymore.

I had a temporary therapist trying to help me find a permanent therapist. And I've gotten so isolated/broken and was told "you need to be less bitter if you want to get help".
 
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Thereisalwaysachoice

Member
Nov 16, 2019
34
Well I'm not suggesting that someone cuts everyones off for prolonged years. Obviously, there comes a point where you have to decide your going to commit suicide and are serious. At that you then distance yourself from everyone. Then actually commit suicide, not remain in isolation from those you love for prolonged time. Basically the number one thing causing the most problems and complications with catching the bus successfully without interference is that people dick around and ideate for months and years and never decide they are going to shit or get off the pot. You decide you are going to shit. You distance people and plan. Then you execute the plan. If someone really wants to catch the bus it's not that hard or complicated. People let themselves hover between lingering on or getting it done for long periods of time. A decision must be made. Those that bounce back and forth are doomed to live a life of lingering dysfunction and are the types who will get theirselves committed to a nuthouse for months.
 
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AnnaJaspers

AnnaJaspers

Experienced
Jul 2, 2019
217
Well I'm not suggesting that someone cuts everyones off for prolonged years. Obviously, there comes a point where you have to decide your going to commit suicide and are serious. At that you then distance yourself from everyone. Then actually commit suicide, not remain in isolation from those you love for prolonged time. Basically the number one thing causing the most problems and complications with catching the bus successfully without interference is that people dick around and ideate for months and years and never decide they are going to shit or get off the pot. You decide you are going to shit. You distance people and plan. Then you execute the plan. If someone really wants to catch the bus it's not that hard or complicated. People let themselves hover between lingering on or getting it done for long periods of time. A decision must be made. Those that bounce back and forth are doomed to live a life of lingering dysfunction and are the types who will get theirselves committed to a nuthouse for months.

This is a good point. I've been lingering in this state for three years now, having informed others about two years ago. I've now come up with a plan A to end my life, and if that doesn't work plan B will be executed.

My family cut me off long ago so that isn't a problem. No interference here.
 
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Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
I can't speak for OP, but that was my thinking for a time. After years of this, I'm basically completely alone and "happy" is not even remotely a part of my language anymore.

I had a temporary therapist trying to help me find a permanent therapist. And I've gotten so isolated/broken and was told "you need to be less bitter if you want to get help".
Well I have bad news for ya...your therapist is probably a shitty judgemental therapist. Give yourself a break , you probably cut off yourself from people because you didn't have the energy to deal with them. It's totally possible to rebuild a social circle out of the blue , if that's what you really desire AND are willing to put work into it. But do you really desire to be around people or, just carry around a sense of shame for transgressing the social rule that you can't be by yourself AND happy?
I personally am so disgusted with my life and people that I don't even WANT to have friends.
 
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Hangm4n

Hangm4n

Consciousness & awareness
Nov 17, 2019
73
So tired of these people. I had an old friend get in touch with me out of the blue a couple months back, and after some general chit chat, I explained my plans for suicide, etc.

Tonight this person says to me "I am deleting your number. I will only speak to people who live in light and love. You are too dark".

I said "ok, bye-bye". These people are, in fact, a de facto reason for wanting to end it. We live in a world of glibites and smugites who can't see past their own pleasures/own fear of death. Why is it so hard to say "gees, that sucks, and I wish you wouldn't leave us, but I respect your decision. I'm sorry you have been in so much pain for so long, the world is an unfair place, you didn't deserve this. If you must do this, I wish you all the peace in the world. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help? Send you your favrorite cookies or something? Hey I could come visit you, won't try to talk you out of it, but would be nice to see you again, one last time my friend."

WHY IS THIS NOT THE RATIONAL RESPONSE TO PEOPLE IN PAIN? PRAY TELL.

these type of people can go fuck themselves. They're wrapped up in being in a positive state which is impossible. Everyone experiences pain and realistically we should support one another but humans are selfish. I hate people tbh, they're idiots
 
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Thereisalwaysachoice

Member
Nov 16, 2019
34
These are the types of people that occupy my darkest thoughts. I won't say what those thoughts are but you probably can guess
 
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Ironweed

Ironweed

Nauseated.
Nov 9, 2019
320
Tonight this person says to me "I am deleting your number. I will only speak to people who live in light and love. You are too dark".

You're probably better off with them out of your life. And you should probably consider yourself lucky they didn't call the cops to drag you off for an involuntary 72 hour observation. Of the sort that starts with a $500 ambulance ride and ends with a $3000 plus hospital bill.

How someone's mental health is somehow improved following a giant hospital bill the individual has no means to pay is one of those questions I never seem to get a straight answer about. Funny how that works.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,815
Yeah, fuck the pro life twats and also, on the flip side of things, if they are out of your life, it's one less person that could try to intervene, play hero, or stop you from attempting CTB (if you do go down that route). What @Ironweed said is true too. Also in response to his last point is that the real answer is that "it doesn't" contrary to what people who have claimed that it got better for them (only after they are hundreds or a couple thousand dollars emptier in their bank account/wallet). In reality, if I ever got hit with such a situation and happen to owe that much money, I'd CTB because not only could I not pay (and wouldn't even if I had the means to), I will also not support a society that oppresses me and fucks me over like that.
 
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Talokin

Member
May 17, 2019
77
I REALLY want to be around people. And I've been actively putting work into it since elementary school (i'm now 40).

But I should realize that I was doing a better thing for myself by isolating.



Well I have bad news for ya...your therapist is probably a shitty judgemental therapist. Give yourself a break , you probably cut off yourself from people because you didn't have the energy to deal with them. It's totally possible to rebuild a social circle out of the blue , if that's what you really desire AND are willing to put work into it. But do you really desire to be around people or, just carry around a sense of shame for transgressing the social rule that you can't be by yourself AND happy?
I personally am so disgusted with my life and people that I don't even WANT to have friends.
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I can't speak for OP, but that was my thinking for a time. After years of this, I'm basically completely alone and "happy" is not even remotely a part of my language anymore.

I had a temporary therapist trying to help me find a permanent therapist. And I've gotten so isolated/broken and was told "you need to be less bitter if you want to get help".
What did a therapist say that to you?!
 
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
Well I'm not suggesting that someone cuts everyones off for prolonged years. Obviously, there comes a point where you have to decide your going to commit suicide and are serious. At that you then distance yourself from everyone. Then actually commit suicide, not remain in isolation from those you love for prolonged time. Basically the number one thing causing the most problems and complications with catching the bus successfully without interference is that people dick around and ideate for months and years and never decide they are going to shit or get off the pot. You decide you are going to shit. You distance people and plan. Then you execute the plan. If someone really wants to catch the bus it's not that hard or complicated. People let themselves hover between lingering on or getting it done for long periods of time. A decision must be made. Those that bounce back and forth are doomed to live a life of lingering dysfunction and are the types who will get theirselves committed to a nuthouse for months.
Kinda harshly put/ laid out but yet so true. It does get to that point doesn't it-you either do it/ don't do it- and try and get on with life as best you can OR as you say end up in that horrible limbo land- essentially destined for increasing dysfunction & the horrible future that also would mean!
Not uncommon unfortunately
Jesus that's awful. I do remember collapsing on the floor in a doctors surgery (in a emotional breakdown way) and being asked in such a horrible sarcastic manner - what are you doing on the floor?! Not so much what they said as the way they said it! It felt so unnessarily cruel when I was at my lowest ebb already.
 
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