
alivebutnotliving
“The suffering said we go around”
- Dec 16, 2024
- 34
Huge trigger warning for themes of r*pe and sa
I broke up with my ex not long ago due to my mental health. Going into the relationship I was stable, but life happens and I had to end it.
He treated me great throughout the relationship, so that's why this situation is even more jarring than it already was. It's also why I chose to end things at my home while I was alone, I simply didn't expect what he did.
When I confessed the need for a break up, he understood. Did not try to offer solutions, and agreed that this would be the best thing for me. Near the end, he simply asked to kiss me one last time. I agreed to this, because I felt it was appropriate. TW . I cannot remember much because of how shocked I was but when I pulled away, he forcefully pinned me down and removed my clothes without consent. Honestly, I was too in shock to fight him. I'm 5 foot, and him 6 foot. I was alone and scared. He then raped me, without using protection. I'm not on birth control. He kept choking me, saying he did not care if I passed out and would continue even if I did. I don't know how long it went on, but I estimate it was around 3 hours. All I wanted was him out of my home. He left eventually, and I still haven't really processed anything. I have that feeling of guilt, as if I could've stopped it. I don't know.
I broke up with my ex not long ago due to my mental health. Going into the relationship I was stable, but life happens and I had to end it.
He treated me great throughout the relationship, so that's why this situation is even more jarring than it already was. It's also why I chose to end things at my home while I was alone, I simply didn't expect what he did.
When I confessed the need for a break up, he understood. Did not try to offer solutions, and agreed that this would be the best thing for me. Near the end, he simply asked to kiss me one last time. I agreed to this, because I felt it was appropriate. TW . I cannot remember much because of how shocked I was but when I pulled away, he forcefully pinned me down and removed my clothes without consent. Honestly, I was too in shock to fight him. I'm 5 foot, and him 6 foot. I was alone and scared. He then raped me, without using protection. I'm not on birth control. He kept choking me, saying he did not care if I passed out and would continue even if I did. I don't know how long it went on, but I estimate it was around 3 hours. All I wanted was him out of my home. He left eventually, and I still haven't really processed anything. I have that feeling of guilt, as if I could've stopped it. I don't know.