Cosmiq
Student
- May 7, 2020
- 197
While I was already in a low mood before my job offer fell through due to Covid-19, being unemployed definitely helped keep my mind clear of distractions and false senses of hope.
I've only sent my resume out twice since then, and not getting a reply kept me in this mood.
However, I got an interview it went really well and now I'm conflicted because I wanted to get rejected.
I feel like it's highly likely I'll get an offer because the guy asked about my references, and turns out he knows both of them and very fond of them. I kinda just thought it'd be another way to burn out any "hope" that tries to grow. A lot of the companies in my field try to low-ball, if that happens it'll give me a logical reason to turn down the offer. If they offer the amount or more, I feel obligated to sort of take the job.
It's like I have to prove to myself that there's no hope for me, and I must expose all the false hope that comes my way trying to get me to further endure staying alive
I've only sent my resume out twice since then, and not getting a reply kept me in this mood.
However, I got an interview it went really well and now I'm conflicted because I wanted to get rejected.
I feel like it's highly likely I'll get an offer because the guy asked about my references, and turns out he knows both of them and very fond of them. I kinda just thought it'd be another way to burn out any "hope" that tries to grow. A lot of the companies in my field try to low-ball, if that happens it'll give me a logical reason to turn down the offer. If they offer the amount or more, I feel obligated to sort of take the job.
It's like I have to prove to myself that there's no hope for me, and I must expose all the false hope that comes my way trying to get me to further endure staying alive