Discussion Role Model

[Brick In The Wall]

Are you a role model to anyone? I want you guys to think about it very carefully for a minute or two before you respond. Chances are almost all of you are a role model to someone in one way or another.

I've come to realize more the impact my decisions have on others to this capacity. I've been trying to better myself and look at myself from an outside perspective more lately. Which has lead me to the revelation of how many people look up to me.

So where do we expand upon this idea? How would you better yourself to be a better role model to others? How do your decisions have an effect on others? What would you change to have a better impact?

There's a famous story about a man who went to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. He said that if even 1 person would show him kindness along the walk that he'd abandon his attempt. Well no one did and he jumped to his death...

Questions like these force us to self analyze and hopefully improve ourselves in the process. Remember even a "hello" or "good day" could have a huge impact on someone.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I used to be to my little brothers my youngest who are 4 years younger than me even painted a picture of me in art class when I was 15 and Goth, and my other little brother started dressing Goth after I began but they have both surpassed me in life especially my 11 month younger little brother he has even achieved one of my dreams. So no I am no one role model anymore.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I used to be to my little brothers my youngest who are 4 years younger than me even painted a picture of me in art class when I was 15 and Goth, and my other little brother started dressing Goth after I began but they have both surpassed me in life especially my 11 month younger little brother he has even achieved one of my dreams. So no I am no one role model anymore.

You were and probably still are a role model to them to some extent. That's a really cool story and I appreciate you sharing it with us.

Family is important, do you guys still get along to some degree? They're probably in the independent age now I'm sure. But if you hang on a bit longer I'm sure the bonds will only grow tighter.

 

[Arrow]

no not really

 

[Brick In The Wall]

no not really

Well now you're my role model! So do me right. Shit rolls down hill and alota people are counting on you now!

 

[Arrow]

Well now you're my role model! So do me right. Shit rolls down hill and alota people are counting on you now!

wow i'm role model for the highest post count member i'm so proud of myself

 

[Brick In The Wall]

wow i'm role model for the highest post count member i'm so proud of myself

Hey man it took alot of work to get this far! You should be!

Edit to add: I'm even gona follow you now, So lead by example!

 

[yearsandyears]

Are you a role model to anyone? I want you guys to think about it very carefully for a minute or two before you respond. Chances are almost all of you are a role model to someone in one way or another.

I've come to realize more the impact my decisions have on others to this capacity. I've been trying to better myself and look at myself from an outside perspective more lately. Which has lead me to the revelation of how many people look up to me.

So where do we expand upon this idea? How would you better yourself to be a better role model to others? How do your decisions have an effect on others? What would you change to have a better impact?

There's a famous story about a man who went to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. He said that if even 1 person would show him kindness along the walk that he'd abandon his attempt. Well no one did and he jumped to his death...

Questions like these force us to self analyze and hopefully improve ourselves in the process. Remember even a "hello" or "good day" could have a huge impact on someone.

being nice is not considered "cool" today. it shows weakness, innocence, or naivety. People around me do not give a shit about me. They steal what they can from me and then ignore me, and treat me like shit.

I would not change a thing about me. People already hate me as it is. If there is a problem, it is typically my fault. I do not give a fuck.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

being nice is not considered "cool" today. it shows weakness, innocence, or naivety. People around me do not give a shit about me. They steal what they can from me and then ignore me, and treat me like shit.

I would not change a thing about me. People already hate me as it is. If there is a problem, it is typically my fault. I do not give a fuck.

I know where you're coming from. Everything in life is a balance. So should your personality be.

I'm generally a nice dude to people, but I have my asshole moments too. This thread is about finding that balance in a way. But also about uplifting others and not dragging them down.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

You were and probably still are a role model to them to some extent. That's a really cool story and I appreciate you sharing it with us.

Family is important, do you guys still get along to some degree? They're probably in the independent age now I'm sure. But if you hang on a bit longer I'm sure the bonds will only grow tighter.

I assure you I am no role model to them my 11 month younger little brother is a big bodybuilder with a nice appartment, GF and several educations while also about to start his own bussiness.

We always got along, it´s weird to me when friends said they hated their siblings because we were always so close especially me and my 11 month younger brother or middle brother, how do you say it? Anyways me and my middle brother have always had the same friends since we also was in the same grade because I was held back a year in kindergarten so although I had my best friends we did many things together so in a way he was my second best friends but he lives far away and my physical problems has forced me to exclude myself so I can´t do anything that is also why I lost all my friends and my youngest littlebrother lives in the same appartment complex as me but he is an extreme introvert and a gamer and have tons of online friends online he is very social also I actually see him less than the my other brother who live 45 minutes away.

It sucks growing up, as you mentioned everyone is independent now I miss living at my childhood home back when we all lived together and also my childhood home that got demolished they destroyed my paradise demolishing that house and cutting down all the trees, bushes etc.

 

[StuckAF]

My parents keep telling me that all their friends tell them they wish their kid was like me. Everyone seems to think I am perfect, because I have high grades, got scholarship, family members like me, I do some sports etc... but they don't know what's inside.. I am not even close to perfect... little do they know I want to end my misery.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I assure you I am no role model to them my 11 month younger little brother is a big bodybuilder with a nice appartment, GF and several educations while also about to start his own bussiness.

We always got along, it´s weird to me when friends said they hated their siblings because we were always so close especially me and my 11 month younger brother or middle brother, how do you say it? Anyways me and my middle brother have always had the same friends since we also was in the same grade because I was held back a year in kindergarten so although I had my best friends we did many things together so in a way he was my second best friends but he lives far away and my physical problems has forced me to exclude myself so I can´t do anything that is also why I lost all my friends and my youngest littlebrother lives in the same appartment complex as me but he is an extreme introvert and a gamer and have tons of online friends online he is very social also I actually see him less than the my other brother who live 45 minutes away.

It sucks growing up, as you mentioned everyone is independent now I miss living at my childhood home back when we all lived together and also my childhood home that got demolished they destroyed my paradise demolishing that house and cutting down all the trees, bushes etc.

Maybe my man, but you could be. This is the recovery forum after all. So that means you gota have some level of faith to be here.

Without filling you with bullshit platitudes all I can say is to develope a better relationship with your brothers.

My parents keep telling me that all their friends tell them they wish their kid was like me. Everyone seems to think I am perfect, because I have high grades, got scholarship, family members like me, I do some sports etc... but they don't know what's inside.. I am not even close to perfect... little do they know I want to end my misery.

If you're still getting graded it's not too late to pick your life back up!

 

[TheGoodGuy]

So that means you gota have some level of faith to be here.

I don´t see that anywhere in the forum rules, you just asked if I am a role model to anyone and since I used to be I thought it was related to this thread even though it was a pessimistic post I made.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I don´t see that anywhere in the forum rules, you just asked if I am a role model to anyone and since I used to be I thought it was related to this thread even though it was a pessimistic post I made.

Na man it's not a rule. I do thank you for sharing though. You're a cool dude and I hope those questions that I pondered in my OP can help you.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Na man it's not a rule. I do thank you for sharing though. You're a cool dude and I hope those questions that I pondered in my OP can help you.

Thanks man. But no amount of positive thinking or anything like that will help I tried that for years I even have over 900 motivational quote pictures I used to cycle 3 times a day as my desktop and that was many years ago when there actually was hope for me. I am physically incable of living life or hanging out with people that is how I lost all my friends so it´s over for me I have accepted it and others should too.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Thanks man. But no amount of positive thinking or anything like that will help I tried that for years I even have over 900 motivational quote pictures I used to cycle 3 times a day as my desktop and that was many years ago when there actually was hope for me. I am physically incable of living life or hanging out with people that is how I lost all my friends so it´s over for me I have accepted it and others should too.

Well that's a load of shit cause I'd hang with you lol. Yea sometimes we fight against the grain and it makes it tough. But there's always atleast some form of hope, no matter how small it is.

If there were no hope, many of us would be gone by now. I believe in you brother. You've made it this long.

 

[Arrow]

it´s over for me I have accepted it and others should too.

i'm right there too

 

[Brick In The Wall]

i'm right there too

Wrong forum my brothers. Please, there's enough shit here already. Let me try to help the recovery forum what I can.

 

[Arrow]

Wrong forum my brothers. Please, there's enough shit here already. Let me try to help the recovery forum what I can.

true tbh

 

[Giraffey]

I was a role model once. First and foremost to my ex-partner, who swore to me recently that I changed her life - she didn't want to tell me how, until I was in a better state of mind. She was very ill at one time, completely stopped eating and drinking, feeling horribly sick and terrified every day, I gave her hope, slowly made her better, even when her doctors had failed. I wasn't a miracle worker, I understood her issues on a far deeper level than anyone else ever did.

Although as I wrote about recently, I broke her trust. Her enduring words to me were as follows:

"I once trusted you with my life, my children. Now I can't even trust you to tell the truth"

I am a fallen role-model.

I've been a role-model to others too. I interviewed an ex-heavyweight boxer for a documentary, we got talking afterwards and he spoke of how his ex-wife used to beat him and he was powerless to fight back or defend himself. We cried together, I shared in his pain for my ex-girlfriend beat me too. Later that month I gave a speech at a conference for male victims of domestic abuse, how we can move on and recover, draw strength from our pain. I became his role-model too.

I haven't spoken to him in a while now, a year perhaps. I wouldn't even know how to contact him anymore. I'm yet another fallen role-model.

I co-wrote a medical textbook all about nausea and vomiting, I have a fear of vomiting (mostly recovered - studying it helped), and through my work on that, I provided support and advice to many fellow phobia sufferers. I've lost count of the number of frightened young teens I've talked down from panic attacks over the years, I remember I went missing after an attempt once and a search party of about thirty or forty people gathered to help, I'd never realised the scale of appreciation until then.

I was a role-model to many of those people. Some of whom I inspired to seek support and therapy, some I helped leave the house for the first time in months, others I talked back from the brink of a breakdown. I was a role-model. Although I will be remembered by most of those kind people; with my long absence from their lives, I will not be missed.

Like a fallen angel, I once did my share of good in the world, but all of that is over now - I am no longer the role-model I once was, I will not be missed, except by those whose societal duty it is to miss me - my family.

Thank you for the opportunity to reflect Brick In The Wall, I hadn't thought about some of those memories in a long time. Contemplative, but sad.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I was a role model once. First and foremost to my ex-partner, who swore to me recently that I changed her life - she didn't want to tell me how, until I was in a better state of mind. She was very ill at one time, completely stopped eating and drinking, feeling horribly sick and terrified every day, I gave her hope, slowly made her better, even when her doctors had failed. I wasn't a miracle worker, I understood her issues on a far deeper level than anyone else ever did.

Although as I wrote about recently, I broke her trust. Her enduring words to me were as follows:

"I once trusted you with my life, my children. Now I can't even trust you to tell the truth"

I am a fallen role-model.

I've been a role-model to others too. I interviewed an ex-heavyweight boxer for a documentary, we got talking afterwards and he spoke of how his ex-wife used to beat him and he was powerless to fight back or defend himself. We cried together, I shared in his pain for my ex-girlfriend beat me too. Later that month I gave a speech at a conference for male victims of domestic abuse, how we can move on and recover, draw strength from our pain. I became his role-model too.

I haven't spoken to him in a while now, a year perhaps. I wouldn't even know how to contact him anymore. I'm yet another fallen role-model.

I co-wrote a medical textbook all about nausea and vomiting, I have a fear of vomiting (mostly recovered - studying it helped), and through my work on that, I provided support and advice to many fellow phobia sufferers. I've lost count of the number of frightened young teens I've talked down from panic attacks over the years, I remember I went missing after an attempt once and a search party of about thirty or forty people gathered to help, I'd never realised the scale of appreciation until then.

I was a role-model to many of those people. Some of whom I inspired to seek support and therapy, some I helped leave the house for the first time in months, others I talked back from the brink of a breakdown. I was a role-model. Although I will be remembered by most of those kind people; with my long absence from their lives, I will not be missed.

Like a fallen angel, I once did my share of good in the world, but all of that is over now - I am no longer the role-model I once was, I will not be missed, except by those whose societal duty it is to miss me - my family.

Thank you for the opportunity to reflect Brick In The Wall, I hadn't thought about some of those memories in a long time. Contemplative, but sad.

Thank you for sharing first off, sad to contemplate. That's alot to get off your chest and I thank you for sharing.

So does it help you any to see where you possibly went wrong? Does it change how you'd move forward? What would you do differently? So many questions, please enlighten me.

 

[Giraffey]

Thank you for sharing first off, sad to contemplate. That's alot to get off your chest and I thank you for sharing.

So does it help you any to see where you possibly went wrong? Does it change how you'd move forward? What would you do differently? So many questions, please enlighten me.

The common theme threaded throughout all of my loss these last few years has been my abusive ex-partner (not the one I spoke positively about in my post above). In many ways, she is the one who has created the torturous prison I feel bound within for the rest of my life; and hence the temptation to make that duration as short as possible.

What would I do differently? I'm not too sure without granting myself the benefit of hindsight I lacked at the time or having the courage to go back and leave my abusive ex-partner before she was ever able to damage me and my life in the ways that she did.

But with my last ex-partner, the one whose trust I broke - I wouldn't have lied to her. As I told her recently, I was kicked out of the King's chamber so I burned down the castle. After I realised our relationship couldn't be reconstituted, in sheer desperation I lied to her in an attempt to bring us closer and ultimately I cast us further apart than ever.

There is always a pause for thought when I think about the role-model I've been to various people in the past, I feel as though it's my little footprint on the world and I long to feel that once again, I long to be somebody's role-model again. But I'm hampered by a lack of hope, by the fear of losing those important to me to the hands of my evil ex, as I have already lost so many.

Forgive me, I'm barely making sense this evening. Thank you again for listening, I'm encouraging the good karma to flow your way in reward of your kindness and patience with this weeping shipwreck of a man.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

The common theme threaded throughout all of my loss these last few years has been my abusive ex-partner (not the one I spoke positively about in my post above). In many ways, she is the one who has created the torturous prison I feel bound within for the rest of my life; and hence the temptation to make that duration as short as possible.

What would I do differently? I'm not too sure without granting myself the benefit of hindsight I lacked at the time or having the courage to go back and leave my abusive ex-partner before she was ever able to damage me and my life in the ways that she did.

But with my last ex-partner, the one whose trust I broke - I wouldn't have lied to her. As I told her recently, I was kicked out of the King's chamber so I burned down the castle. After I realised our relationship couldn't be reconstituted, in sheer desperation I lied to her in an attempt to bring us closer and ultimately I cast us further apart than ever.

There is always a pause for thought when I think about the role-model I've been to various people in the past, I feel as though it's my little footprint on the world and I long to feel that once again, I long to be somebody's role-model again. But I'm hampered by a lack of hope, by the fear of losing those important to me to the hands of my evil ex, as I have already lost so many.

Forgive me, I'm barely making sense this evening. Thank you again for listening, I'm encouraging the good karma to flow your way in reward of your kindness and patience with this weeping shipwreck of a man.

Na man you're making alot of sense. You're talking some truths that I should've followed myself. I should've treated my girl with more respect. Shoutout @Nyxx33

That was a brilliant and uplifting bit you wrote. Even if it didn't answer all my questions. It did answer some I didn't ask.

I do feel for ya brother, mad respect to you. I hope that you're able to recover to some degree.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I fear I don't really care how I influence people. And no, I am not a role model to anyone. My younger brother is starting to outgrow me and my influence on him is lessening, which is a good thing since my life sucks.
That said, I hope my death will also positively influence some of the people closest to me.

 

[Giraffey]

Na man you're making alot of sense. You're talking some truths that I should've followed myself. I should've treated my girl with more respect. Shoutout @Nyxx33

That was a brilliant and uplifting bit you wrote. Even if it didn't answer all my questions. It did answer some I didn't ask.

I do feel for ya brother, mad respect to you. I hope that you're able to recover to some degree.

Thanks man, I appreciate all of that. We all make mistakes in our life, but I like to believe that good things will always come (eventually) to good hearts (although it doesn't always feel that way).

On that note, I really hope you find your good from this life, and thank you again for all of the positivity and strength you've given to me and evidently so many others.

Talking of being a role-model, those you help are like your invisible army. You can't always see them and you never really know how big it is, but when you're in trouble and you need support, your army has got your back. I'm proud to join, next time you go into battle just give us a holla and I'll be there with the rest of the recruits to fight your corner :)

PS: You unintentionally summed me up in one line right there - SlowMo: The answer to a question no-one asked... :P

 

[Pryras]

Yes, to a 19 year old girl. She has been through a lot and is the daughter of my mother's best friend.

Her biological mother abandoned her at birth and she was raised by her father. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic and passed away a year ago from a brain aneurysm. It was the first funeral that I ever attended.

She keeps her head up high and is very strong and independent. She looks up to me as if I'm a big sister who makes good decisions (which is just not true)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I don't think anyone I've known has genuinely looked up to me and those that kind of have a little have been misled. My life before this was smoke and mirrors and anyone that followed me made me very uncomfortable was aware of the illusion.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

My niece looked up to me when we were younger. I was a 13 year old brat and couldn't appreciate it for what it was. I really regret not letting her in when I had the chance.

I think one of my friends looks up to me? Sometimes when we talk about real shit™ she seems to almost admire me. I dunno.

 

[Nyxx33]

I suppose my sister has looked up to me. i had a student last year say I was her role model because when we went to Madrid as a class there were some street performers doing a dance competition and I decided to randomly join in front of a bunch of people watching when they asked for volunteers. But never considered myself a role model although it's true we have to consider how our behavior can impact others especially younger generations.