Rika kawaii signing out

[rikakawaii]

Long have I tried to cross over to the other side. 13 times in total. I live a painful existence fueled with guilt, envy, and pity. I have severe substance abuse issues and a shit family dynamic. Im currently a college student living in my dorm with a roommate. I haven't been doing shit for work, and although I've met like 4 friends and actually and am really enjoying myself in my life for once, I'm afraid I must go. If anyone could send me the dmc link for SN that would be greatly appreciated, if not im hanging myself tonight. I love you all. I love this world. I wish I didn't have to leave

 

[Myforevercharlie]

If you enjoy yourself now it might be worth to stick around for a while?

No, not telling you what you should / shouldn't do

But I do think almost everyone deserves a bit of happy, enjoy the happy for a bit? Mr Reaper isn't going anywhere.

 

[rikakawaii]

If you enjoy yourself now it might be worth to stick around for a while?

No, not telling you what you should / shouldn't do

But I do think almost everyone deserves a bit of happy, enjoy the happy for a bit? Mr Reaper isn't going anywhere.

I appreciate this a lot. However I also have a bad porn addiction. When I was watching twitter porn, my hero academia porn popped up on my timeline and now I feel like I'm going to jail. I have extreme debilitating paranoia and it sucks. I don't even think its valid because that kind of porn is all over pornhub and has like a half a million views, I'm just being paranoid. I just need someone to ease my worrys.

 

[Ethel]

You really shouldn't feel guilty about doing something you truly enjoy,porn or not Rika

You didn't do anything bad to someone else and pleasure is definitely not a crime

 

[rikakawaii]

You really shouldn't feel guilty about doing something you truly enjoy,porn or not Rika

You didn't do anything bad to someone else and pleasure is definitely not a crime

I also appreciate that a lot, but my hero academia has underage characters so isn't that a crime? It was hentai though and fictional. Still gross.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I also appreciate that a lot, but my hero academia has underage characters so isn't that a crime? It was hentai though and fictional. Still gross.

I'm reading a book about gay werewolves. One is 17. I want to see the first person who puts me into jail for that

 

[rikakawaii]

I'm reading a book about gay werewolves. One is 17. I want to see the first person who puts me into jail for that

But that has artistic value. I should probably just talk to a lawyer lol

 

[astr4]

fiction is fiction, tbh. you can write some of the most evil stuff and it doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person.

people who watch true crime docs and obsess over serial killers don't normally end up becoming killers themselves.

porn has value too, cause imagine the alternative where that hentai is acted out by real people instead. i love hentai because i like more violent porn and this way i know no one was hurt while it was being made. i can't be 100% sure with real porn, no?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

But that has artistic value. I should probably just talk to a lawyer lol

And what you are watching are real people?

 

[rikakawaii]

And what you are watching are real people?

Hell no. Fake. But im pretty sure its still illegal so im going to stop watching it.

 

[AflacDuck]

If you cant find SN, potassium nitrate is usually used in gun powder tutorials, but theres really no different between the two, its sold as stump remover at just about every hardware store in the gardening section. Its used to burn out stumps. The main thing that kills you from poisoning with either of these is from nitrate poisoning which causes methemoglobinemia. Sodium Nitrate is likely more watched due to its popularity for abuse, PN on the other hand is not.

 

[willitpass]

If you cant find SN, potassium nitrate is usually used in gun powder tutorials, but theres really no different between the two, its sold as stump remover at just about every hardware store in the gardening section. Its used to burn out stumps. The main thing that kills you from poisoning with either of these is from nitrate poisoning which causes methemoglobinemia. Sodium Nitrate is likely more watched due to its popularity for abuse, PN on the other hand is not.

SN is not sodium nitrate. It is sodium nitrite. They are two different things.

 

[AflacDuck]

SN is not sodium nitrate. It is sodium nitrite. They are two different things.

Either way methemoglobinemia is ultimately what kills you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from the pain this cruel existence causes, best wishes.

 

[Hanzala Ahmad]

not to try to force u into recovery or anything, but why are u planning on leaving while u are enjoying urself and life is getting good?
if u have a shit family dynamic, why dont u cut them off when u graduate and ur independant?
ik u have probably considered this all before, but if u clear it up before u go, id appreciate it
also, can u pls provide specifics of ur method for anyone willing to take it up
hope its quick and painless!
edit: read ur reply abt ur porn addiction, although yes, there is not a lot majorly wrong with that, it can feel horrible, i would know
theres tons of ways to overcome this addiction tho, join a forum or subreddit for recovering addicts and download apps/extensions that block out this kinda content or start by blocking such accounts on twitter
for me, i struggled for years and idk eventually something clicked and now im disgusted by it, try holding on just a bit longer
edit 2: don't do it man, exhaust every means of recovery before ever killing urself, it can get better, it doesn't always, but it can

 

[badtothebone]

Long have I tried to cross over to the other side. 13 times in total. I live a painful existence fueled with guilt, envy, and pity. I have severe substance abuse issues and a shit family dynamic. Im currently a college student living in my dorm with a roommate. I haven't been doing shit for work, and although I've met like 4 friends and actually and am really enjoying myself in my life for once, I'm afraid I must go. If anyone could send me the dmc link for SN that would be greatly appreciated, if not im hanging myself tonight. I love you all. I love this world. I wish I didn't have to leave

Sounds like you have addiction disease and usually addiction regardless to what kind makes you depressed. Treat yourself from that and then see if you still want to die.

 

[rikakawaii]

I appreciate all the kind words. You guys are the best. Now let me reply

not to try to force u into recovery or anything, but why are u planning on leaving while u are enjoying urself and life is getting good?
if u have a shit family dynamic, why dont u cut them off when u graduate and ur independant?
ik u have probably considered this all before, but if u clear it up before u go, id appreciate it
also, can u pls provide specifics of ur method for anyone willing to take it up
hope its quick and painless!
edit: read ur reply abt ur porn addiction, although yes, there is not a lot majorly wrong with that, it can feel horrible, i would know
theres tons of ways to overcome this addiction tho, join a forum or subreddit for recovering addicts and download apps/extensions that block out this kinda content or start by blocking such accounts on twitter
for me, i struggled for years and idk eventually something clicked and now im disgusted by it, try holding on just a bit longer
edit 2: don't do it man, exhaust every means of recovery before ever killing urself, it can get better, it doesn't always, but it can

This definitely broadens my perspective. Since you are curious I was planning on full suspension hanging with socks to compress my carotid arteries, so I pass out to make it quick and painless. And you're right life is getting good. I just hung out with friends today. It's mainly just paranoia. I think it resulted from severe THC abuse. I will most definitely take your advice into deep consideration. I deleted twitter and I'm currently struggling with wanting to redownload it.

 

[JustAnotherSadMan]

You're not a bad person for looking at MHA hentai. It's not like the characters are drawn like children. If it was loli or shota, then that would be a different discussion. Nevertheless, it is a good habit to stay away from that stuff if mental health is a concern. You previously mentioned that you like porn (samesies), I recommend checking out the wholesome hentai subreddit if you do want to look at porn. It "makes your heart orgasm".

 

[rikakawaii]

You're not a bad person for looking at MHA hentai. It's not like the characters are drawn like children. If it was loli or shota, then that would be a different discussion. Nevertheless, it is a good habit to stay away from that stuff if mental health is a concern. You previously mentioned that you like porn (samesies), I recommend checking out the wholesome hentai subreddit if you do want to look at porn. It "makes your heart orgasm".

Thank you so much for this. I really, really needed this.

 

[JustAnotherSadMan]

Thank you so much for this. I really, really needed this.

I am glad I could help you. I've got all yhe wholesome sauce lol