Repetitive Existence

[JazzyJohn]

Out of genuine curiosity, what would be a good solution to this situation?
I live with my own flesh and blood and I'm relentlessly told by them every single day of my life how worthless I am. How is serve no purpose being around and how I should go away and pretend I don't exist.
Talking doesn't work.
It's been years since I've been self harming, they know, and do not care and are not affected by it.
They know I was raped and abused (punched, slapped, bit, burned, suffocated) by my ex, they know, and do not care and are not affected by it.
Talking doesn't work, I get told to shut up.

I'm so tired of living this life
Ctb seems like the only glimmer of hope left at having peace, and fewer and fewer people are telling me otherwise

If this discussion belongs in a different thread or board, I apologize for posting in the wrong area. I'm at the end of my rope and I have nothing left.

 

[themisbelow]

Do you just feel like the same days are repeating, and it feels trapping? You don't necessarily say that in your post, but I'm somewhat inferring it from the name of the thread.

If so, I'm assuming you want to hear other options beyond ctb, because that's the vibe I get from this post. I struggle with similar thoughts as a victim of rape and childhood sexual abuse. I think the most important thing to me to cope with all of this are relatively silly things. I'm bipolar so I can easily get really overwhelmed by my own emotions, and not really want to feel better. I sometimes have to just sit in a corner and count numbers or recite verses that I like as it tends to ground me. Besides that, I know my hobbies and schooling has been incredibly grounding. It's easier to not think about stuff like that if you keep yourself busy. Existence is unfortunately painful when you have so much that's happened in your past, but it's not always impossible. Regardless of what happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Fwompje]

Out of genuine curiosity, what would be a good solution to this situation?
I live with my own flesh and blood and I'm relentlessly told by them every single day of my life how worthless I am. How is serve no purpose being around and how I should go away and pretend I don't exist.
Talking doesn't work.
It's been years since I've been self harming, they know, and do not care and are not affected by it.
They know I was raped and abused (punched, slapped, bit, burned, suffocated) by my ex, they know, and do not care and are not affected by it.
Talking doesn't work, I get told to shut up.

I'm so tired of living this life
Ctb seems like the only glimmer of hope left at having peace, and fewer and fewer people are telling me otherwise

If this discussion belongs in a different thread or board, I apologize for posting in the wrong area. I'm at the end of my rope and I have nothing left.

Living with people who don't show love and actively hurt you is hell on earth. Is there a way you could move away?

Sounds like you've been through a lot.

 

[dumpstermagic]

LEAVE sleep in the god damn bushes anywhere but there get the fuck out!!!!

 

[a-friend]

As someone mentioned before, it sounds like you want out of the situation and you don't seem desperate to CBT. Maybe try calling a hotline? Other than that, if you decide to CTB then I wish you the best. The situation you're in sounds horrible.

 

[FuneralCry]

You cannot expect other people to tell you what to do as after all they aren't enduring your existence. It has to be a personal decision. But that certainly does sound like such an awful situation to be in, it's true that of course it can be hell existing in this world and it's so horrible how other people just create so much suffering. I wish you the best.